Depression has lifted with magnesium supplements. I perceive what I would call reality differently on and off the supplements. This is very strange, yet it is pleasant when I take them religiously. What should I make of this?
There is a documented link between magnesium
and depression. For the last few months I have been taking a magnesium supplement and it seems to work for me. It has been a very strange experience and I would like to understand it.
1) With the right dose of Mg, I find myself less driven to achieve outcomes yet more engaged in getting there. This makes me able to calm my co-workers down, which is nice - un-medicated I usually become very involved in pushing for outcomes and it pisses everyone off.
2) A co-worker who I'll call Agnes said "Jet, you're weird" and immediately I said "I am flawed, yet beautiful". Un-medicated this would be the last thing I would say. She laughed. This would be radically out of character for me in my un-medicated state. Agnes is who I would like to be in many ways - able to engage with just about anyone and get to the root of things without getting wound up.
3) When I miss a couple doses of the Mg supplement I revert to pre-medicated thinking; while I am there I wonder which experience is 'real'. There is a very odd flexibility in what I used to call reality - when I have the Mg on board "reality" seems quite pleasant; without it I go right back to thinking I have to fight and win all the time instead of (medicated) being with my friends and doing stuff that makes us happy.
4) On the Mg, the world seems less threatening and yet less involving. It's as though I'm sitting and watching the world do what it does, and maybe tweaking things a bit and seeing the effects ripple out of what I do. It makes me more careful but it is not a reticence - it's knowing that things I do have consequences, and therefore being more caring about the ripples.
5) I understand my cat's expressions and movements better when I take the Mg supplements.
So what is this, how can I learn about it? It's strange and pleasant, and it makes me feel as though I'm not so wrapped up in every little thing, yet what I do seems to -work- much better.