February 12, 2014 2:36 PM Subscribe
We're having our first child and I am terrified that it will be a girl.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (108 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
My wife and I are having our first baby this July. As she's gotten closer to the point that we can tell gender (four weeks from now), I've become increasingly fearful that it will be a girl. Not because I feel girls are inferior in any shape or form, but for a myriad of admittedly irrational reasons.
My wife is very much into girly-girl things and I know that if we have a girl, it is very likely I'll be living in a pink world of barbies, tea parties, and princesses. I realize that daddy would be invited to these tea parties and the like, but I honestly feel like I'd have less enthusiasm than if I had a boy who wants to play legos or sports or something like that. My dad passed a lot down to me through our relationship and it pains me to think that I may not be able to continue that with a son of my own. I know that it is completely possible that we could have a girl that would like doing these same things or a boy who doesn't like them, but that hasn't made me any more okay with this. When you add dating, safety, and all the other concerns that come with a girl, I am absolutely terrified.
This should be an exciting time but I am having a hard time enjoying it. I feel like a terrible father for thinking this way and I'm not sure how to get around it. If I'm entirely honesty with myself, I do want a boy much more than a girl and I will be greatly disappointed if I we don't have a boy. Normally I'm very emotionally grounded and rational but this situation has provoked a response that I acknowledge is irrational and unfounded.
I don't feel it would be fair to burden my wife with this - if I told her I was feeling this way and it did end up being a girl, I wouldn't want her to feel like she somehow disappointed me. I'm incredibly thankful that both she and the baby are healthy and I'm happy that she's going to realize her dream of being a mother. How do I get past this and be excited for whatever may happen? Any suggestions on how to cope with this will be greatly appreciated.