The case of the un-responded-to text message
February 1, 2014 5:58 PM Subscribe
A former colleague got in touch to hang out. I didn't respond, but I actually wanted to
. How can I fix this?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (16 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
So, let's call my former colleague Sarah. We're both 20-something women who worked together in a small office for about a year before she left the company. We got along really well, sometimes hanging out outside of work, just us or with our other colleagues.
A few weeks ago, I ran into Sarah. She texted me suggesting we get together some time soon, but...I never got around to texting back. Which is crazy, because I'd actually want to spend time with her, but...
I've been in a bad place socially for the past little while. I've been avoiding getting together with close friends and especially not wanting to deepen connections with acquaintances because I feel like I'm a tedious bore with nothing to offer anyone. Basically, I'm hesitant to let anyone new get close enough to know that I'm just not really worth their time. I panic when people reach out to me because I feel like I don't really have the energy to detach myself from the unpleasant things in my life and put on a good, fun, extroverted face for social events. These are some pretty serious and pervasive issues that I'm well aware I should see a therapist about, but enough about me for a moment.
Sarah's still friendly with our other colleagues, and some of them are looking towards getting together next. But I still haven't responded to that text, and every day that passes makes it more difficult. And it certainly makes things look awkward for everyone involved (and could seriously hurt morale with my current colleagues) if it looks like I've given Sarah the cold shoulder for no apparent reason.
Sarah, having worked with me for a while, definitely has at least an inkling that I've got some social anxiety issues, but I feel pretty shitty for just letting things drop, because she's a nice person and she doesn't deserve my being shitty to protect my special snowflake self-esteem. My question is, what can I do at this point? I really don't think that permanently ignoring her is the solution here.