Paranoid about people being disingenious
January 27, 2014 5:49 PM Subscribe
How do I overcome this fear/paranoia?
posted by morning_television to Human Relations (16 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
I've been working on myself a lot lately (therapy, exercise etc.) and I've been noticing a change in my overall attitude. I'm becoming more open and more outgoing than I usually am. I've been wanting to create new friendships but something begins to bother me whenever I become friendly with people.
I have this anxiety and fear that the person I'm talking to is only being friendly out of charity. That they feel they need to be friendly with me or pretend to be interested. That they think I'm starving for friends. They don't think highly of me. That I'm lonely. And they'd feel bad if they weren't interested. I actually DON'T have a lot of friends, and I'm lonely from time to time but I'm never showing it. I just like talking/connecting to people.
It happens whenever I talk to people at work, or people in other social circles or groups. I'm always friendly and I'm always engaged. I never make it painfully obvious that I need friends, I just carry the conversation in a friendly way. I passionately share my interests. Yet my mind begins to wander and I feel this horrible vulnerability. Like I'll eventually find out they were talking about me behind my back. Or that I'll get hurt by.. something.
I've talked about this with my therapist and he said that there's no way of ever knowing and that I should accept it. We've been practicing mindful meditation and it's been helping in other areas.
Does this make sense? Does this sound serious? Will I eventually overcome this?