How do you balance your interests/passions with being in a relationship?
January 23, 2014 5:29 AM Subscribe
My significant other and I do not share many common hobbies/interests. I feel that the limited free time I have is going more into the relationship and less into pursuing my personal interests. Has anyone dealt with this situation successfully, or is a relationship without much hobby overlap doomed to fail?
posted by Anon500 to Human Relations (25 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
I am 29. I work pretty long hours and have only a few hours of free time at night each day. I am also in a serious relationship, and the majority of my free time goes toward being with my girlfriend. We don't overlap in tons of different interests, so that time is usually spent eating together, talking about stuff, watching something, or cuddling. These are important things to me, but it leaves much less time for my own hobbies (reading, golf, introspection/writing, seeing my guy friends alone), self-improvement (I want to learn to code, take classes), etc. Just in general, I am someone who really appreciates alone time. At the same time, I appreciate her in my life as she keeps me grounded in reality and lets me take the focus off of myself (can lead to depressive symptoms for me).
In an ideal world, we would share a lot of the same passions and would be able to do these things together. But we just don't really share that many interests.
Is this just "the way it is" or have people made this work even without sharing the same interests? Is cohabitation the answer since there is more passive time spent together and more justification for doing something without the S.O. several days a week? Does this change over time? Or am I doomed?