Help me adapt to the idea of being childless
January 8, 2014 2:12 AM Subscribe
I’ve recently discovered I am almost certainly infertile. For different reasons, assisted conception and adoption are highly unlikely to be options for me. I need help to make my peace with the idea of being childless. Please, no hopeful stories about “I never thought I’d have children, but now I do”; there are plenty of these in previous questions about infertility.
posted by Coobeastie to Health & Fitness (37 answers total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
Some personal background, though I’m not sure how relevant this is: I’m in my 30s. I’ve always loved kids. I’ve always been told I’m good with kids. I’ve always wanted kids. People comment on my motherliness, and it’s always been a strong part of my self-identity. I tried for a baby with my previous partner without success, and I’m currently single. I’d rather not go into medical details about my fertility, nor why assisted conception nor adoption are options for me; I’m not interested in “I had that and I got pregnant”, as I can talk that through with my doctor, but rather dealing with never getting pregnant.
My best friend is heavily pregnant, and it seems like every month there is another of my friends posting a picture of their ultrasound to Facebook. If I can’t deal with this, then I can’t spend time with most of my friends. As I said, I love kids, and I’d love spending time with my friends and their families if this wasn’t breaking me apart.
I realise therapy is likely to be suggested as an answer to this, and it’s certainly something I’m considering, but I’m in the UK and this is both more difficult to access and less commonly used than in the US.