I just got my masters in Biophysics and want to leave. Should I?
December 12, 2013 8:10 AM Subscribe
I'm in a Ph. D. program in Biophysics. I'm getting paid to be here. I've joined a lab and finished the classes, but I still have at least 2 and a half long years of research to go. I don't care for my project, I don't care for the town I'm in, and I don't even know if I care about science anymore. Finally someone noticed and I've been told I need to step up my game.
posted by Archibald Edmund Binns to Education (22 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I had no experience in biology prior to joining (my undergrad degree was in english and physics), and my reasons for getting my degree were pretty dumb - i.e. I wanted to work on resurrecting dinosaurs and immortality, I didn't have any other plans, the economy, I really liked my physics professor and he said it was a good idea. Turns out I hate biology, but I was able to join a lab that was more physics-y. Even that though just doesn't do it for me. I can recognize that the work my lab is doing is really cool and potentially world-changing, but all the recognition in the world doesn't make me want to do it one little bit.
Today the head of my lab finally (I've been waiting, hoping, for him to do this for MONTHS) called me in and said I had earned a reputation for being a poor worker, being out often, and (most damning) lacking curiosity. I said nothing but in my head I agreed with him. He says if I don't show serious improvement by the end of January he'll be writing a letter to the department head.
1. Is this just a normal bout of imposter syndrome/ grad school angst?
2. Will I hate myself for leaving in 3 or 5 or 10 years?
3. Will my lack of motivation and poor work habits follow me wherever I go? I'm in therapy partially because I hate my job and feel really guilty for not being passionate about it/working hard at it, but it doesn't seem to be helping much. I want more than anything to know that it's the job that is making me such a lousy worker and not some intrinsic laziness in me.