I have trouble talking about myself sometimes.
October 25, 2013 9:02 PM Subscribe
How come? How can I be more comfortable with this?
posted by mermily to human relations (6 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
I have started online dating on OKCupid. It's going well in a lot of ways. I've met interesting people that I like talking to and I have a sense for what I am looking for and am sort of enjoying the process. I genuinely really like talking to people and I like finding out what people are interested in and their general perspective on the world. But sometimes in conversation I notice I am really good at the side of getting others to talk about themselves and chiming in about general topics and empathizing but I feel awkward or clam up when asked about questions specifically about my life. It's like I get super self conscious and I feel like I'm fumbling around for my words. I like my life, and I don't have anything particular to hide. But when I'm asked certain (standard) open ended questions about my life it brings out some kind of insecurity. Or to be honest, I think it's a fear about being judged or feeling on the spot in some way? I was out with a guy today, and he said at one point, "Hey, I feel like I'm kind of dominating the conversation" and when he asked me stuff I got nervous and started feeling like I was rambling.
I'm kind of trying to figure out why I am uncomfortable with self disclosure in this setting and ways to get over it. I feel fairly comfortable in other settings but maybe I generally tend toward asking things more than talking about myself.