I need to make a clean break. I'm ruining my health for this job I hate.

October 14, 2013 10:06 PM

How can I cut and run and survive? I'm having trouble finding a lab job in the field I have my degree in (biochem) despite good credentials/resume and willingness to move almost ANYWHERE. Ideally I would have a position lined up before I quit but I don't know if I'm going to survive that long. I usually pride myself on my professionalism but I had a nervous breakdown in front of my boss today for no good reason except accumulating stress and a crippling anxiety disorder. This is a shot in the dark but...are there any good volunteer programs that provide basic food and lodging in exchange for work? Not interested in TFA. I think Peace Corps takes a long time to even have a chance at getting accepted. And I don't know if my health problems would disqualify me.

I've been working at a job in the tech industry for about a year, averaging 50-60 hours of work a week. I took the job because it was considered a prestigious company at the forefront of a growing field, decent salary (though much less so when divided by my working hours), a cool unorthodox, casual work environment, a chance to do something new and gain valuable skills.

So I took that chance. This position I landed is completely unrelated to the degree I graduated with. Graduated with a STEM degree from a good school with good grades and good research experience. Had trouble landing even a bottom of the barrel lab tech position despite running my own lab independently for a year while a student.

I'm seeking treatment for my mental health but my psychiatrist thinks my company (in her own words) is a diagnosis in and of itself. They're notorious for overworking their employees. Few make it more than two years. My health is suffering. My mental health is the worse it's ever been (though I'm finally on medication that I think might start to be working.....). My asthma is taking a dive for no apparent reason. I'm so unhappy and I feel like I'm wasting my youth.

I want to quit now. I don't think I can last till the end of the year but if so that's just about all I'll be able to muster. And though I'll try, the odds of finding a position that pays a living wage is slim. The only time I really have to job hunt is the weekend.

I almost wish they'd just fire me but I'm in a key position that they can't quickly replace. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, including myself. This isn't what I wanted. If I get hit by a car tomorrow my last thoughts will be ones of overwhelming regret.

My family tells me I'm welcome to come back home till I find something but I know my mental health would take a severe blow from the humiliation of that defeat. I know it's not logical, but it's the way it is. I don't really have any debt (or dependents) but I don't really have any savings either.

I'm smart. I'm skilled scientifically, technically, and socially. I have some health problems but nothing that can't be treated and hidden. I just need a change because I wake up crying at the thought of going into work every day.

posted by WhitenoisE to Work & Money (14 answers total)

Best answer: There seem to be several questions here, so please forgive me if I go five direction in trying to answer this.

The first thing is anecdotal experience, but I've walked away from jobs a few times with nothing else lined up (not many, but a few).I did it when I thought that it was unbearable and at a cost to my health. However, there was also a phenomenal stressor to quickly find a job, but I always managed to do so. If your parents are making an offer and if your mental health professional thinks that walking out of the job is the best course of action, do consider that. To be honest, if I were in your shoes, I would ask your mental health professional to have a lot of input in the decision, because we don't know how bad it is for you and your mental health status, etc.

That aside, there are ways to quickly find a job in your field. I'm saying this as a person who did quickly get into a lab (after I also walked out of a job, heh) many yrs ago,and also as a person who worked in a lab as a grad student, and later hired students to help me in the sciences at a university. So one thing that you could do if you decide to go this route is 1) look up universities, hospitals, and fill out their HR/employee sheet - the good thing about this is that often, it sets you up for many,many labs and positions (vs a company with 2 or 3 jobs you qualify for); 2) talk to any friends you have right now that may be in a lab and are leaving/or if they know of a lab, etc.(you can gt in this way); 3) go to a nearby university, etc. Find the department office(biochem) and ask the people in the office if anyone is hiring and also go to a couple faculty member doors and knock, ask briefly, and go onwards; 4) you can also go to the "about me" page for each faculty member,look if their research is interesting,and if so, email. Many of these things can work- I actually did get into a lab by following step 1 and 2 many years ago.I also hired people who did number 3 because I was too busy and eager, interested people appeared at my office door at the start of the semester. There are good things about doing this, which is 1) it would be in your field, 2) it should be less stressful than what you do now (far less stressful), 3) you can attend lectures, often get credit to have a free class or two 4) provides health care, which you do need right now. The low point is that these jobs do not pay as much as others. However, if you are working a ridiculous number of hours and it is at cost to your health, that may not be worth it, either. Also, it is NOT likely that they will recruit something from far away to do these jobs, so apply locally (or apply in an area that you have friends/family and can physically get to an interview). It is not that specialized of a skill set- but it is a start (just saying this for realistic expectations).

There are also jobs that you can quickly find if you need it and take until you find a better job (lets call these throw away jobs). I'm not sure if you want to go this direction and we should throw suggestions out, but walk into stores, give a resume, walk out ...and many people have done this before/I would imagine that you would find something, although your location will influence how fast/slow this goes. But if you do this, it will take the pressure off quickly needing a job, and it will probably be far less stressful than what you are doing now.

IF you decide to try to quickly get into a lab or get a throwaway job, you could start looking during lunch (don't use their resources). You could take a sick/"mental health day" and hit the pavement looking for a temporary job or a job that fits your background. But taking action may help you right now.

Also, I would not recommend the Peace Corps for you right now. It sounds like you are in survival mode and just want to get out.Peace Corps usually lasts 2+ years and can be very stressful and isolating (I would recommend it if you said your dream was to travel and things were going well, etc.),but I don't think that it matches your health at the moment.They also do have more stringent health requirements (especially if you end up in a village without a doctor and a day or two away from health care), so it doesn't seem like a best step for now.

Good luck.

OP, if you would like to bounce more ideas off someone, or if you need more suggestions about getting into a lab, finding throwaway jobs, or even the Peace Corps, do feel free to memail me. As I said, I have also walked away from jobs, and do feel that people should consider this as an option, too, so I do understand that part of the formula.
posted by Wolfster at 11:15 PM on October 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

I want to quit now. I don't think I can last till the end of the year but if so that's just about all I'll be able to muster. And though I'll try, the odds of finding a position that pays a living wage is slim. The only time I really have to job hunt is the weekend.

Is taking a week of vacation or a sick week a viable option? You're going to feel better if you have at least made some job applications.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:20 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Not in your field, but WWOOF and most ATTRA internships are room and board andsometimes a stipend. Lots of farms are especially low key in winter, and being outside and doing something 'else' for a few months might be therapeutic. It also keeps you off mom's couch, and gives you time to be picky too.
posted by jrobin276 at 11:21 PM on October 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Wait, you work a mission-critical position and they can't easily replace you? It sounds like you have some leverage here. Can you just start phoning it in while you update your resume and look for work? As long as you remain professional the worst that can happen is that you get fired. Which is what you already kind of wanted. (Ironically, your bosses may start to treat you better if they sense you might not be quite so desperate for this particular job anymore.)
posted by en forme de poire at 12:30 AM on October 15, 2013 [6 favorites]

That really, really sucks and I'm sorry you're going through it.

First, take any vacation time you're able to take, as fast as you're able to take it. Even one day away may give you some temporary breathing room. Take sick time, if you have it. You've earned it.

Second, try to get away during the day if at all possible. If you bring your lunch, stop. You forgot it. You have to run out to grab something. Or take a short walk, outside, in the sunshine, even if it's just around the parking lot.

Third, if you've been there a year and you're in the US, you may be covered under the Family Medical Leave Act (or might be soon if you're coming up on a year). It sounds like your psychiatrist would sign off on it, and I don't believe your company needs the reasons, just the fact that you are not able to work a full schedule. It sounds like you don't have savings to float yourself indefinitely, but I believe FMLA can be taken non-sequentially -- even stepping back your schedule might give you the breathing room to step up your search for something better.

Realistically, FMLA leave does carry the risk that they will lay you off for "unrelated reasons" once you're back full-time. (Not supposed to, but in a company like yours it can still happen.) But it's still probably better than quitting without another job lined up. (In fact, depending on the type of layoff, you might be eligible for unemployment.)
posted by pie ninja at 5:30 AM on October 15, 2013

Response by poster: Just to clarify, I currently have negative sick time due to an emergency surgery and several bad asthma episodes. I only have a week of vacation that I'm taking at Christmas so I can see my family for the first time in a year, and my boss would laugh at me if I requested vacation now. Worked here for 10 months so no FMLA.

Bad thing is if I quit I owe them money they paid to move me out here. Money I can't afford. University is a good idea for work but hard to find staff during the weekend.
posted by WhitenoisE at 5:49 AM on October 15, 2013

Best answer: Do the bare minimum and start working regular 40 hour weeks. Take your lunch. Leave the building, even if all you're doing is sitting in your car playing Ruzzle on your phone.

There is NOTHING that can't wait until tomorrow. Nothing. So don't feel like you have to clear the decks every day. Fuck that noise.

I'm a lynchpin in my organization too, but oh well, it will struggle on without me if need be, I leave at 5 every day and it's fine.

Get out of your head. This is a job. This is not your life, or your personality or anything other than a place to exchange hours for dollars. This doesn't define you. So stop letting it do that.

Start a targeted search for a new job now. Spend a couple of hours in the evening applying for positions via LinkedIn, actual websites etc.

Nothing is hopeless, and if push comes to shove, you can quit and move back with your folks to regroup. Don't let pride kill you.

I suspect though, that if you scale back your hours and your emotional investment in the job, that it will be WAY more manageable and much less stressful.

Hang in there!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:59 AM on October 15, 2013 [10 favorites]

This is a bad time to look for science jobs (short term) because of the government shutdown, and it may get worse. Are you on a salary or hourly? How about you draw a line at 50 hours a week (or what ever makes you comfortable), and let them fire you if they dare. Hopefully this will make it better for you till you at least won't owe them moving costs (1 year?).
posted by 445supermag at 7:05 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: It usually takes a while to fire someone, even when they suck. I think you should phone it in for two months more and then see where you are mentally. Maybe you'll want a FMLA break once you qualify for one; and if nothing else, there should be a lot more jobs available for you to switch to, because many orgs front-load their hiring at the start of the year.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:43 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Unfortunately it's a bad time to be looking for bio jobs in general, not just do to the shutdown. Increased automation has eliminated a lot of RA jobs, and a PhD is becoming more of a requirement even for basic lab work. It's really hard to find investors to fund pharma in this unstable economy, so smaller companies that depend on venture capital are suffering as well. I work with biotech/pharma companies throughout the country as a Field Applications Scientist and I'm seeing a lot of layoffs and few open positions.

Have you thought about going to grad school?

Biospace.com is a decent site for job listings in our field, by the way. Joining groups on LinkedIn that are relevant to your research interests and making good quality posts can be a good way to expand your network. Also, make sure it's very clear in your cover letters that you're willing to self relocate.
posted by Thoughtcrime at 9:39 AM on October 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: I don't want to threadsit so this is the last time I'll reply, I just want to note that graduate school was indeed my plan going into school. I have enough research under my belt for one great and one okay letter of recommendation, but I have no publications. To have a chance to get into a decent program I know I'll need more experience in a biochem or molecular bio lab or similar. My previous research was all over the place, from inorganic analytic chem to entomology. Doesn't show good focus. But it's a catch 22 because it seems like even lowly tech positions are hiring M.S. folks since there's such a glut of unemployment in the field.

Looks like my best option is to skate by for two more months and then try to save maybe a month's rent and put petal to the metal trying against all odds to find a lab job and get back on track to real interests. I'll pound on doors if necessary. I love science. It's all I wanted to do since I was a kid. I just got frustrated when 300 applications over two months didn't even get me a simple callback never mind an interview. So I settled for the tech industry...not for me.

Who would have known that Biochemistry would have been such a bad degree ...jeez. I guess in 2013 it's engineering or gtfo.
posted by WhitenoisE at 10:04 AM on October 15, 2013

Yo, just FYI, I think you're catastrophizing a bit about grad school applications. I had zero pubs from undergrad and my coursework was all over the map (plus I had a 3.0, not exactly world class), but I still got into a top 10 program for my Ph.D.

Also if you're not getting responses offering to tech for people, your resume and cover letter may need some work shopping. MeMail me if you want someone to take an unbiased look.
posted by en forme de poire at 11:14 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Go to your boss and explain that the long hours are affecting your health. With your doctor's recommendation, you can take up to 12 unpaid weeks of FMLA (family medical leave). Take several weeks. Spend some time organizing your finances so you can live on low wages.

If you leave because of the long hours (and toxic environment?) you may not have to repay the moving costs. Also, they can't get $ from someone who doesn't have any.

Look for jobs that combine tech skills with biochem. Supporting medical apps in a hospital? Or even a similar position at a company that is less stressful.
posted by theora55 at 11:19 AM on October 15, 2013

If you really can't stand it and walk out on the job tomorrow, I'd suggest trying out options 1 or 2 of this Dear Sugar column. Americorp will also give you a poverty-level salary.

If you want to reboot your career, does it appeal to save up and bootcamp your way to being a developer or a data scientist? I've met one or two people who've pivoted from biochem undergrad degrees. The difference between a cushy tech job and a soul-sucking one like yours is a) having skills in high demand and b) being picky and careful about boundaries and when/where you work. Of course, you can only really do b) if you've got a) in your pocket.

(Of course, all this assumes that the reason you're unhappy now is the hours and the stress,
not the very nature of the work. If thats wrong, totally disregard.)
posted by tinymegalo at 4:40 PM on October 15, 2013