Speak, memory. (Or at least whisper a bit louder.)
September 3, 2013 6:40 AM Subscribe
How do memoir writers jog their memories? How have you (in the absence of note-taking during or immediately after transformative periods in your life) jogged your memory?
I combed over emails, I've gone through all the photos I can find, but I am still trying to reconstruct even some of the basic details--the kind that make eyewitness testimony so unreliable--like, what happened first at that event, who said exactly what, etc. during some parts of a significant trip I just took.
I know to document document document--and free-write about--what's still fresh now, but do you have any habits or tricks you've used to jog your memory for seemingly-lost details for discrete events weeks, months, or years down the line?
I combed over emails, I've gone through all the photos I can find, but I am still trying to reconstruct even some of the basic details--the kind that make eyewitness testimony so unreliable--like, what happened first at that event, who said exactly what, etc. during some parts of a significant trip I just took.
I know to document document document--and free-write about--what's still fresh now, but do you have any habits or tricks you've used to jog your memory for seemingly-lost details for discrete events weeks, months, or years down the line?
Brainstorming for objects. If you can find a used copy of Molly Daniels Ramanujan's Clothesline Review Manual, grab it. I treasure my copy.
But basically, all the objects and sensory things you can remember. Find them and unpack their significance.
posted by BibiRose at 6:59 AM on September 3, 2013
But basically, all the objects and sensory things you can remember. Find them and unpack their significance.
posted by BibiRose at 6:59 AM on September 3, 2013
Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird has some good exercises for this.
posted by dawkins_7 at 7:07 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by dawkins_7 at 7:07 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
but do you have any habits or tricks you've used to jog your memory for seemingly-lost details for discrete events weeks, months, or years down the line?
Talk to people who were there with you. Sometimes someone will mention something to me that I had totally forgotten and with just that little reminder it comes back in complete clarity.
It's one of the things I realize are lost forever with the death of friends and colleagues - my own memories I could not otherwise remember without them.
posted by three blind mice at 7:08 AM on September 3, 2013
Talk to people who were there with you. Sometimes someone will mention something to me that I had totally forgotten and with just that little reminder it comes back in complete clarity.
It's one of the things I realize are lost forever with the death of friends and colleagues - my own memories I could not otherwise remember without them.
posted by three blind mice at 7:08 AM on September 3, 2013
Sometimes there are tangible things around to help jog one's memory, and using them or their reasonable facsimiles/recreations help, ala Save Karyn. And a memoir isn't always 100%; why they are classed not as autobiographical and tend to have (or need) disclaimers.
For a while there was a trend of bloggers (Bspot, LiveJournal) turning to their blogs for memoir material ...
posted by tilde at 7:13 AM on September 3, 2013
For a while there was a trend of bloggers (Bspot, LiveJournal) turning to their blogs for memoir material ...
posted by tilde at 7:13 AM on September 3, 2013
I don't know if it works for everyone, but listening to the music I was into at the time can often trigger lost memories of things I did whilst it was on in the background, or featuring in my thoughts.
posted by greenish at 7:14 AM on September 3, 2013
posted by greenish at 7:14 AM on September 3, 2013
You could also just...not worry about it. Write about what you know in detail, and write what little you do know about the rest and write your own "filler". You may not know the exact words your friends used in conversations, but maybe you remember the topics, so just write that bit ("and then we had a conversation about snakes and went to bed"). Or admit you don't know, or just fudge it ("we talked for a while about this and that and then went to bed").
The really important bits are there, and a handful of details are enough. Like - okay, take my rose story. I don't remember exactly how many roses I got, or how many were in each bundle each time. I don't remember what all the cards said, or the first day I got them, or exact conversations I had with people about whether I knew who sent them, or conversations I had with people subsequently. What I do remember are the important bits -- that it happened frequently, the way people's reactions changed each time they came (from genuine shock and surprise to laughing and "oh my god, another one"), the name that a friend dug out of the principal's office when asked if anyone had those initials ("Abner Navarro"), the fact that the final bouquet was eleven red and one pink and came with a card reading "You're one of a kind," and the sight of Sue standing at her desk each time I came back into French class with a new bouquet and singing "Hey little girl is your daddy home...."
Memoirs don't need to be as richly detailed as court statements. People don't expect them to be. Do qualify things you don't remember quite as well ("I think we talked about snakes", say), but the important details are there.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:24 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
The really important bits are there, and a handful of details are enough. Like - okay, take my rose story. I don't remember exactly how many roses I got, or how many were in each bundle each time. I don't remember what all the cards said, or the first day I got them, or exact conversations I had with people about whether I knew who sent them, or conversations I had with people subsequently. What I do remember are the important bits -- that it happened frequently, the way people's reactions changed each time they came (from genuine shock and surprise to laughing and "oh my god, another one"), the name that a friend dug out of the principal's office when asked if anyone had those initials ("Abner Navarro"), the fact that the final bouquet was eleven red and one pink and came with a card reading "You're one of a kind," and the sight of Sue standing at her desk each time I came back into French class with a new bouquet and singing "Hey little girl is your daddy home...."
Memoirs don't need to be as richly detailed as court statements. People don't expect them to be. Do qualify things you don't remember quite as well ("I think we talked about snakes", say), but the important details are there.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:24 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
Context! Immerse yourself in the context absolutely as much as possible. Go to the place at the same time of day; do it mentally if you can't do it physically. Surround yourself with available photos. Get back in the state of mind as much as you can.
posted by supercres at 8:24 AM on September 3, 2013
posted by supercres at 8:24 AM on September 3, 2013
Response by poster: Memoirs don't need to be as richly detailed as court statements. People don't expect them to be. Do qualify things you don't remember quite as well ("I think we talked about snakes", say), but the important details are there.
Thanks for this insight--for the sake of future answers, I should clarify that I am aware of this and have experience with this sort of writing in the past and am not trying to painstakingly re-create every last thing. (Maybe my autobiographical memory is just much, much worse than Frank McCourt et al.)
posted by blue suede stockings at 8:42 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
Thanks for this insight--for the sake of future answers, I should clarify that I am aware of this and have experience with this sort of writing in the past and am not trying to painstakingly re-create every last thing. (Maybe my autobiographical memory is just much, much worse than Frank McCourt et al.)
posted by blue suede stockings at 8:42 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
Ah, got it.
Maybe the act of writing itself could trigger things. You know, you set out to just write down what little you know, and then you put it away and you leave it a while and then you go to re-read it and suddenly you remember exactly what your father said at the campfire so you can fill that in instead of "and dad said something that made my uncle give him a dirty look" or whatever. And then the next time you remember more.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:31 AM on September 3, 2013
Maybe the act of writing itself could trigger things. You know, you set out to just write down what little you know, and then you put it away and you leave it a while and then you go to re-read it and suddenly you remember exactly what your father said at the campfire so you can fill that in instead of "and dad said something that made my uncle give him a dirty look" or whatever. And then the next time you remember more.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:31 AM on September 3, 2013
Haul out the photographs and free write in a journal meant for that purpose.
posted by thinkpiece at 9:44 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by thinkpiece at 9:44 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
Watching R.U. Sirius write his still in progress Mondo 2000 history has been fascinating. I don't know if the updates are available to non-supporters but he reconstructed the history by free writing, consulting extant text, sharing parts of his work, and by extensively interviewing people involved. I got the sense he was recreating specific events from the various perspectives offered to him, which he then could probably compare to his own memory and develop on his own, perhaps through free writing (works for me). He also has an archive, of sorts, of the magazines and whatever communications anyone has. I know he has also worried about the impact of what he is writing because some people are still alive and might be offended, so he is navigating that very cautiously too it seems.
The thrust of it seems to be that the writing process is a collaborative one. Write a draft and pay attention to the little "gee, maybe it was..." while writing or editing it. This alone will help you because it sets your memories in your head to a degree, so it is easier to recall. Then as you discuss it or the events with others you'll get corrections or insights that will better the effort and might also relate to your "gee..." notes. Sharing what you've written with others who experienced the events might spur efforts on their parts, even if it is just an email retort to correct something. Anything is worth it.
Don't undercut yourself either. I actually carry a pocket notebook and pen in my pocket for when I need to jot something like a memory or idea down, after seeing it discussed. It's great. It's a little unfortunate the author of that article only focused on men though.
posted by jwells at 10:26 AM on September 4, 2013
The thrust of it seems to be that the writing process is a collaborative one. Write a draft and pay attention to the little "gee, maybe it was..." while writing or editing it. This alone will help you because it sets your memories in your head to a degree, so it is easier to recall. Then as you discuss it or the events with others you'll get corrections or insights that will better the effort and might also relate to your "gee..." notes. Sharing what you've written with others who experienced the events might spur efforts on their parts, even if it is just an email retort to correct something. Anything is worth it.
Don't undercut yourself either. I actually carry a pocket notebook and pen in my pocket for when I need to jot something like a memory or idea down, after seeing it discussed. It's great. It's a little unfortunate the author of that article only focused on men though.
posted by jwells at 10:26 AM on September 4, 2013
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- Talking with others helps too.
- I've met some folks with insanely good memories as well. Just can't remember who...
- Do you have a 'shtick'? Mine is clothing. I can usually remember what someone was wearing the first time I met them. That usually leads to where it was, conversations, etc.
posted by jwells at 6:57 AM on September 3, 2013