Success stories where "one that got away" was really not "the one?"
August 13, 2013 5:54 PM Subscribe
Are there any success stories of people who have gotten over relationships that you /know/ could have been fixed if circumstances had been different and have gone on to find greater happiness, especially with successful, committed relationships? I am worried that my recent relationship is going to turn into one of those "the one that got away" situations, and he's made it clear he doesn't want to work on it anymore, so I can't do anything about that. I had thought I would be settling down in a city with a long term partner by now, and the fact that that is not happening is really tough to handle. Help!!! I need encouragement.
posted by dubhemerak3000 to human relations (22 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I am going through a very painful breakup while also freaking out about starting grad. school in 2 weeks in a city I don't like or want to stay in. At the time that I made the decision to move, I had thought I would be in a long distance relationship that would be supportive while I went through this degree and that I could stomach the move. Now that I'm here, I worry I made a huge mistake--lots of what-ifs (had I not moved, would my relationship still be alive? What if I get stuck in this city I don't like forever? What if I can't stomach starting over /again/ (I have uprooted and rerooted multiple times and am entering my late 20's) after starting over so many times?)
I genuinely miss my ex a lot, but I am also mourning the sense of stability that making plans to come back to him gave me. I can't believe I actively chose to move to a city I don't like for a prestigious school. But at this point, not going to school would mean wasting a lot of money on re-applying and would mean putting my life on hold for a year (not to mention my lease is already started, etc.). He's said that if I went back it would not make a difference (I asked).
My ex broke up with me primarily over communication issues and said he was too worn down to keep trying. I had considered staying in the city we lived in to be with him until he broke up with me a few months ago (there were 2 short breakups before this final one) -- at which point I thought it might be best to just pick the best school regardless of location.