I can't believe I paid someone to hurt me that much.

August 1, 2013 6:22 PM

I've always wanted to try waxing my legs (and.... eventually... other stuff too....) but I've been too scared of the pain. However, shaving my legs every five seconds is REALLY getting old, so finally I decided to try it. It was pretty much a disaster. What did I do wrong and how can I make it work better for me?

So I'm a woman. The hair on my legs grows really fast BUT if I shave my legs more than once a week, my skin breaks out like crazy and it's awful. Which means every summer, I'm miserable in pants or long skirts most of the time. It sucks. Electrolysis or whatever is not an option right now.

So about a month ago, I finally broke down and got my legs waxed. I went to a highly rated place. I did as the lady suggested and took an advil an hour before, and a shot of booze a few minutes before, and I didn't use lotion that day. The one BAD thing I did was, I scheduled the waxing for just a day before I got my period. So that was a mistake, but other than that, I thought I was fine.

WELL. It hurt like nothing I could've ever imagined. I mean in my 30+ years of life, I have never felt pain like this. It took her 45 minutes to do it and I was literally sobbing the entire time, hands over my face sobbing like someone was flaying the skin from my body. I can't believe how much it hurt. The 70 bucks I had to spend also did not feel so great. And I paid extra for the “sensitive skin” wax. WTF! And the upshot of all this? It lasted about a week, After a week I had to shave my legs again! So all that pain, all that money, and I only got one week of happiness out of it.

Here's my first question – is there anything I can possibly do to make it hurt less? Any tips or tricks or maybe places in nyc you can suggest that are extra gentle, etc?

And follow up question... how can I make it last longer? The spa technician said that the first time I did it, it wouldn't last that long, but after doing it a few times, eventually I'd be able to get like a month of smoothness. But the problem is, in order to get the hair long enough to wax, I have to go without shaving for at least two weeks. And in the insane heat of an NYC summer, I can't go two straight weeks without shaving my legs! How do people get around this? Or should I just wait until winter to start this little experiment?

Millions of women shave their legs. I have to make this work. Help!

posted by Everythingsalrighteverythingsfine to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (30 answers total)

Yes, wait until winter. While you're waiting, take all the money you would have spent on waxing, and save it. Then save a little more. Then get laser hair removal and solve your problem once and for all. I'm totally serious. I had legs like yours--fifteen years ago. Got them lasered and lived happily ever after. It cost $3,000 back then!! And was well worth it at that price. It's much cheaper today--lucky you, you're living in the future. If you've got legs that break out when you shave, then I'm willing to bet you've got legs that will get horrible ingrown hairs if you wax. All of this misery and wasted money can be avoided if you just save up and go for laser hair removal.

If you're dead set on waxing, then still wait for winter. It does get somewhat better--less painful and longer lasting. But I think a month is overly optimistic. And if it's coarse, dark hair, you're always going to have a problem between waxings during the summer.
posted by HotToddy at 6:36 PM on August 1, 2013 [6 favorites]

Legs are the ouchiest. I don't wax any more, but yeah, they hurt the worst.

But also, it's definitely true that the first time any part of your body is waxed, it hurts more than it does in subsequent waxings.

But also, if something hurts you that much, stop it.

On your legs, the problems you have are because your hair grows in clusters. That's not the word, maybe I'll think of the right word while I'm writing this. Two or three clusters or groups or waves. So your first time out, the little hairsies that were too small to wax, or perhaps to see, grow out pretty quickly and need to be waxed. But the other, more mature clusters of hair are at different stages of growth. So some of them may not grow back as quickly because they were ready to fall out anyway.

In addition, the first time you have any body part waxed, your technician should cut your hair so that it's no more than about 3/8 of an inch long. Shorter and the wax won't grab, but longer and the wax sticks to strays that are not intended to be pulled at that moment. And yeah, that hurts a lot.

Of course, with legs, you can't really "cut" the hair, so you normally would shave your legs, then wait until the majority was about 3/8" and then go in for your first waxing. Your second would be soon after, to catch the next cluster, group, wave, whatever. And when it grows out, it's finer so (a) it doesn't show as much, and (b) it doesn't hurt as much when it's waxed. So it's win/win.

Seriously, though. Don't do it if it hurts that much.

FWIW, I never paid that much, it never took that long to wax my legs, and while things may have changed recently, I never heard of "sensitive skin" wax. And I have never taken advil or any other painkiller before waxing, and I would NEVER have alcohol before a procedure like that.
posted by janey47 at 6:37 PM on August 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Laser. Hair. Removal. There are CONSTANTLY Groupons for it in major metro areas, and there are reputable devices for at-home use (the Tria, the Silk'n or whatevs) that are always on sale for under a few hundred bucks. Once you go laser, you don't go back.
posted by julthumbscrew at 6:39 PM on August 1, 2013

1) take the advil closer to waxing time. It only takes about 15 minutes and has about an hour's halflife, which means it was wearing off by the time you got waxed

2) how close to your period you are makes a HUGE difference, seriously

3) have a smaller area done, have them do smaller amounts at a time

4) cold wax (body sugaring) instead of hot wax.

5) it really shouldn't hurt enough to have you sobbing. Waxing might not be for you. I've waxed my own legs and it never hurt that much.

6) if you need to shave more than twice a week, waxing is never going to last a month. Never.

7) sounds like you need to go somewhere else next time. I think that your waxer did a pretty poor job.
posted by windykites at 6:42 PM on August 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

To chime in on laser hair removal. I had my underarms and *ahem* "bikini line" lasered and they were right when they told me that it is "Permanent Hair REDUCTION." For permanent hair REMOVAL, you need electrolysis. With that said, my underarms remain almost hair free. I literally pluck one or two hairs about every other week.

LHR works best on fair skin and dark hair. If you have dark skin it will hurt like HAIL. If you have light hair, it will grow back (I waited until I was a smidgen too old for my bikini line and now my pubic hair consists entirely of blonde & grey hairs haha).
posted by janey47 at 6:45 PM on August 1, 2013

Laser hair removal can be very effective (I had it about 8 years ago and rarely have a hair on my lower legs, though the other areas I had done are another story), but it is also quite painful, especially on bony areas like shins and ankles. You can use a numbing cream - it's great. You may be able to use it before waxing, too. Or epilating. Epilating is painful but numbing cream would help a lot, and you may tolerate it better because you are in control and can do it in the privacy of your own home. Epilating is probably the cheapest way to go, too - buy one device and that's it. I don't even own a razor.
posted by payoto at 6:46 PM on August 1, 2013

Epilating and laser HURT! More than waxing, I can attest to that.

Your issue was that it was the first time. Honestly, next time it wont be so bad as long as you don't shave. The time after that it will be better and better and better.

Also, shop around. I went to someone who did a bikini wax and it was the most painful thing ever, and this is when I was an experienced waxee. Definitely shop around until you find someone who is quick and does a thorough job.

Keep at it, it's worth it.
posted by Youremyworld at 6:54 PM on August 1, 2013

Also, what kind of wax did they use. Hard and soft wax are different, so I would suggest finding a place that uses both so you can see what works best for you.

Also - I'm not convinced the person doing your legs was fantastic. A lot of money does not necessarily equal great, and it really shouldn't have taken 45 minutes. I go to a highly rated place, but I can tell you that not everyone who works there is equal.
posted by scrute at 7:04 PM on August 1, 2013

It's going to hurt. Sorry. The big variable is how fast your girl can get it over with.

I once (ONCE!) had a highly-rated-on-yelp woman take an hour on my Brazilian. (My regular girl takes 15 minutes.) Never, never never again. Damn.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:04 PM on August 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

What about Nair?
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 7:28 PM on August 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think the pain levels really depend on the person, because I've had both waxing and laser as well, and to me, laser felt like a really hard elastic being snapped against my skin (ouch!) but waxing felt like the skin was being torn off (yeeeoooowwww!). I have pale skin and light colored hair, so unfortunately laser hasn't panned out well for me.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 7:46 PM on August 1, 2013

So strangely enough, part of the problem is shaving too much. I got my legs waxed a few times before and it didn't hurt, but I never shaved my legs. I got my armpits waxed the same day (which I shave all the time), and I'm sure that I saw baby jesus it hurt so bad. When I asked the waxer why that was, she told me that it was because I didn't shave my legs. If you do want to do the waxing again, maybe you could not shave with a normal razor, but only an electric one? (I know it's not ideal, but it would help)
posted by Attackpanda at 8:21 PM on August 1, 2013

Ok: if you normally have a decent pain tolerance, you can make this work. If you don't, that's ok! Here is what you do: schedule your wax for the week after your period. Start exfoliating right now. Exfoliate your legs a couple times a week in the shower. You can use that apricot scrub for faces at the drugstore. It always hurts bad the first time. My first brazillian killllllled. So painful. My second, third, etc., hardly hurt at all. Your period timing and exfoliating will really help. Also you don't have to wait two weeks if in less than two weeks time your leg hair is long enough to get it waxed again.
posted by manicure12 at 8:22 PM on August 1, 2013

I've been waxing, on and off, in various places, since 1989, so I have seen a bunch of different techniques.

The skill of your technician is going to matter A LOT. It really makes a huge difference. Ask around among your friends, or check out Yelp. I have had two different waxers at the same fairly high-end place that were like night and day. Speed is of the essence: one pass is best, with a few touch-ups, fine.

The best experiences I ever had consistently was when I lived in Brazil, where the removal of body hair is an art form. I went to a super-cheap college student place, and these ladies would come out with a big bucket of wax, a spatula, and would put one long strip from my bikini line down to my ankle, let it cool, then rip it off in one go. I'd feel the first one, and after that, I think my nerves were just too overloaded to register anything. But it was over FAST.
posted by ambrosia at 8:24 PM on August 1, 2013 [2 favorites]

Have you tried Nair or something similar? It really does work but if you haven't used it before, try it on a small section of skin to make sure you're not allergic.

Also want to echo everyone who's saying that 45 minutes sounds like too long for a leg wax. If you're going to try waxing again go somewhere else.
posted by entropyiswinning at 8:25 PM on August 1, 2013

I really don't understand why it would take 45 minutes or grow back after a week, even the first time. To me, that just sounds like a bad wax? Try somewhere else. If you're anywhere near Park Slope, I recommend the Clinton Nail Salon on 5th Ave at 7th Street. They have roll-on wax! It's crazy-fast.
posted by unknowncommand at 8:25 PM on August 1, 2013

The first time is the worst because you are yanking out all of these very firmly rooted follicles. The second time is still bad but not AS bad if you go within 6 weeks because the follicles won't be as firmly rooted. After you've been doing it regularly for a year it won't seem like a big deal because a lot of follicles will just not exist anymore and the others will be very, uh, loose.

Also, my lady wipes me down with a little oil beforehand to limit the amount of wax sticking to my actual skin versus the hair. Maybe ask for more of that?
posted by joan_holloway at 8:28 PM on August 1, 2013

Response by poster: See, joan_halloway, that's my problem.... I can't get waxed within 6 weeks of the last time because it's too hot right now to let it grow back long enough to wax again! I've already shaved three times since I got the first wax. That's why I was thinking I should do this in the winter so I can let the hair grow.

I've tried Nair but that also only works for a few days.

It took so long because I was crying so much, so she kept having to stop and let me calm down :(
posted by Everythingsalrighteverythingsfine at 8:37 PM on August 1, 2013

You can epilate in the downtime between waxings. It's pretty painful but it doesn't hurt very much when the hairs are really short. And you only need 1-2mm hair for it to work. I have the Braun Epil 7 and an Emjoi and they're both pretty good. Then you can save the waxing for winter and do it again.

I suffer from ingrowns though, so, I alternate with a silky-mit type (it's basically very fine grit sandpaper) in between. But if you don't suffer from ingrown hairs then you should be fine with the epilator.

I just bought a tria, and, it's good but it hurts a lot more than waxing for me.

The reason it may not have lasted (my wax never did either) is because she may have broken the hairs instead of pulled them out. But my hair just grows a lot, I think, because nothing really ever really lasts on me.
posted by Dimes at 9:14 PM on August 1, 2013

While you're waiting for winter, a couple of things that helped me not get terrible, terrible rashes from shaving: 1) exfoliate every day with a very rough nylon cloth thing, and 2) using a Schick Quattro, which I store with its blades submerged in a container of vegetable oil. I went from my legs breaking out in a rash so bad that I would bruise myself scratching to...nothing. No rashes at all. I can now shave more than once a week. Shaving with the exact same kind of razor that hasn't been stored in oil starts the rash cycle all over again. Bonus: storing razor blades in oil keeps them sharp enough to last for several weeks.

You poor thing. I hope this gets better for you.
posted by corey flood at 9:41 PM on August 1, 2013

So, just a random idea, but have you ever had your eyebrows waxed? If not, maybe you should get into the habit of doing that in the meantime while you wait for winter. It will get you used to the sensation of waxing and hopefully calm your fears about the pain because you will see how it gets less bad over time. I've been getting my brows waxed for almost a decade now and I can tell you I was definitely crying for the first few months, and now I don't notice it at all. I can, like, have a full conversation involving laughing with my wax lady while she's doing my brows because I'm that used to it.

And by all means, wait until winter to do your legs again but be prepared for it to be super painful again like the first time because those follicles will make themselves nice and comfy in the meantime. When you go again, take 4 Advil a half hour beforehand. No wimpy doses! And then schedule something awesome to do for yourself after so you can focus on that during it.
posted by joan_holloway at 9:45 PM on August 1, 2013 [2 favorites]

Another vote for epilating. It is painful the first few times and if you haven't done it recently but after the initial cost of the epilator it's cheap and you can epilate as regularly as you need to in the privacy of your own home. I found that regrowth very quickly becomes sparser and the hairs finer and less noticeable.
posted by *becca* at 2:54 AM on August 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

So pain levels are subjective.

But if you were crying from a waxing, you will probably be wailing with an epilator. I am an old hand at waxing and, in the hands of a skilled technician, it feels no worse than a hard slap. When I use my epilator at home, I have to FORCE myself to finish, because it's teeth clenchingly painful sometimes. Despite epilating after a warm bath and keeping the skin tight.

YMMV.

(A few things might have made that waxing worse -- my pain tolerance plummets just before my period -- and an unskilled wax vs a skilled wax is night and day. You might want to give it another go when you're in the middle of your cycle well away from your period, and possibly at a different salon. Search for recommendations. As a white woman with dark, thick leg hair that almost gives me the leg equivalent of a five-o'clock shadow, I sympathise, I really, really do.)
posted by NoiselessPenguin at 3:12 AM on August 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

Piling onto the hair clusters theme from above, think of it sort of like this. It may not be exactly scientifically correct, but it is close enough to get the concept across:

Unlike scalp hair, body hair follicles work in cycles. They grow for 3 months and then stop, and then that hair strand eventually falls out. During the non growth time, the follicle is resting and another nearby follicle takes over "coverage" of that area of the skin. So at any moment, you've got a follicle with a mature hair that's planted in tight, one with a juvenile hair that is just starting to get going, and one that is resting.

Except for the few ones that are ready to fall out on their own, the mature hairs do not want to get pulled out. So the first waxing hurts like hell. Once those are taken care of, however, your future maintenance waxings are just pulling out the newer hairs which aren't planted in quite so tight.

Also, once your follicles get their hairs yanked out a couple of times, they loosen up and make it easier for subsequent ones to come out.

So yeah, I'd chalk this one up to experience, and then start again in the winter. Figure out a schedule that works for you.
posted by gjc at 3:46 AM on August 2, 2013

I used to be very much in the same situation as you, but the truth is, if you have dark/coarse/noticeable leg hair, you will never be happy with waxing, because you will always need to let it grow in a significant amount before you can wax again. The solution for me was to find a combination of products and shaving techniques that allowed me to shave more than once per week without breaking out.

For me, that means I do the following:
- Exfoliate with a glove like this and Tom's Daily Moisture soap
- Using the soap for lather, shave with a light tough and a fresh razor blade, I use the regular Venus razor blades.
- After you're done shaving, apply a liberal amount of Olay In-Shower Body Lotion

The key to all of this for me is that if my legs feel "prickly" or irritated or goosebumpy, I do not shave. Sometimes that means that I need to soak them in warm water for 10 minutes before I can start shaving, on rare occasions it means that I have to skip shaving entirely. But with that routine I've gone from constantly broken out legs shaving once a week to legs that look 90% good and can be shaved daily or semi-daily.
posted by telegraph at 5:46 AM on August 2, 2013 [2 favorites]

Waxing never bothered me but it also never worked as a viable method of leg hair control. Do as many up thread have suggested and just get the laser hair removal. I'm not lying to you when I say it changed my life. If waxing made you weep - definitely opt for the numbing cream when you do laser.
posted by Wolfie at 7:03 AM on August 2, 2013

I'd like to chime in to say that the timing of this wax was VERY likely to be a factor. I used to get waxed fairly often, and it always hurt much more if I did it right before my period. If you are not used to doing painful things right before your period, you are not likely to be familiar with how much it affects your pain tolerance. I won't schedule a tattoo session unless it's at least a week away from my period, for example, because it hurts 3x worse than it usually does.
posted by bedhead at 7:27 AM on August 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

When you say you get breakouts from shaving, do you mean you get ingrown hairs? Red bumps, itchy and painful to shave? If so, I agree with telegraph's advice. I had this problem, but now I exfoliate gently, but thoroughly, with a very sudsy washcloth, and use Venus blades. No more breakouts. You need to get the little prickly hairs to stand up, outside the skin.
posted by feste at 8:50 AM on August 2, 2013

Seconding telegraph and feste; I don't know anything about waxing, but I have learned that shaving isn't just about moving a blade around; it starts and ends with skin care. Typical skin irritation caused by ingrowns, known as "the bumps," can be resolved with better shaving.

Fresh Venus cartridges at that link will be $2.50/ea, not exactly cheap. May I recommend a double-edge (DE) razor? The handle will cost you $20-50, once, but blades are under a quarter. Here's the Wet-Shaving for Ladies FAQ from the wet-shaving subreddit named Wicked_Edge. (Switching to DE for your legs doesn't mean you have to switch for shaving other places; plenty of guys prefer DE for a smooth face, but prefer a cartridge razor for the short-and-curlies; you may find the need for precision and control outweighs the cost consideration

Also, leg shaving with a light coat of conditioner seems to be a popular choice; that should keep the hair pretty dang soft.
posted by Sunburnt at 9:26 AM on August 2, 2013

I've had the sensitive skin wax on my eyebrows before, and I actually prefer the regular stuff. To me, it seemed like it wasn't as good at getting all the hairs out, so the waxer had to go over areas multiple times, which hurts!

I also wonder if you're not breaking out, but getting ingrown hairs, or having some kind of reaction to your soap or shaving gel. To avoid ingrowns, try exfoliating really well before shaving.

Is it possible you got a really bad technician? Part of what helps to minimize the pain is that they should hold the skin as taught as possible and work quickly.

The spa technician said that the first time I did it, it wouldn't last that long, but after doing it a few times, eventually I'd be able to get like a month of smoothness.

I hate to disappoint, but this is probably not true for you. This varies from person to person greatly, and I'm not sure after only a few waxes if you could increase your time between waxes from one week to one month. You will probably have to get waxed fairly regularly before this happens.
posted by inertia at 1:02 PM on August 2, 2013