Scarves for Women 101

July 23, 2013 4:56 AM

I would like to start wearing scarves with my outfits, but I feel totally lost. Please share your advice on how to buy, wear, tie, and style scarves! Additional challenges: I'm short, big-busted, tomboyish, and I have long hair which I usually wear down.

I want to start wearing scarves to add some color to my outfits and to look a bit more put-together. I tend to look best in deep autumn colors, and I wear a lot of browns and jewel tones. My basic uniform is dark jeans, a long-sleeved tee, and a cardigan or jacket, all in solid colors.

I am short and have an ample bust, which makes wearing scarves especially difficult - almost everything seems to make me look squat and neckless and adds bulk in all the wrong places. Since I'm short and I dress fairly simply, busy graphic scarves often feel like they overwhelm my look (although I might just be intimidated). I never know what to do with my long hair, either; if I keep it in the scarf it looks weird and plastered to my head, but if I take it out I look like a giant triangle.

I would really appreciate any advice you have for how to wear scarves to work with my figure & hair, where to buy nice affordable scarves, and how to work them into my outfits. Cheers!

posted by Vatican Cameos to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (14 answers total)

I personally like Target's cheap and cheerful big long 6' rectangles, with are usually $20 but go on clearance. They are long enough that they are easy to style so they come down further on your torso, which might help with your concerns. They also come in simple, low-contrast patterns that sound like they'd work with your style. Good gateway scarves.

When looking for scarves that won't stand out or make you uncomfortable, I would worry less about pattern and more about contrast. A small-scale pattern with very low contrast between the colors will read as much less busy than a simple or large-scale pattern with very high contrast between the colors.

There are about a billion "how to wear scarves" videos on the internet. Nordstrom's video is one of the better and I recommend it; not all the looks will work for you, but they'll give you ideas.

If you want *nice* scarves for silly-cheap, thrift stores are frequently overflowing with very, very nice vintage and designer scarves (I've found at least one Hermes in perfect condition... too bad it was ugly) for a few bucks and the cost of dry cleaning or washing. Inspect for holes (tag damage, ash burns) and stains (which may or may not come out) by holding up to the light before buying. Also check along the hem -- unrolled hems can be fixed by hand once you get the knack of it, but you may not want to bother, or there may be fabric damage such that it's difficult to rehem.

Most silk scarves will wash in water and gentle soap, and for a $3 scarf, I'm often willing to take the chance they'll come out well -- use this tutorial. Just don't use water on anything with vinal (which I have also seen on tags as "visal") as it will smell super-funky for at least a year afterwards.
posted by pie ninja at 5:46 AM on July 23, 2013 [8 favorites]

My favorite how to wear a scarf video is from Wendy's Lookbook here
posted by saturdaymornings at 5:59 AM on July 23, 2013 [8 favorites]

My two go-to scarf knots that don't create a lot of bulk, and that work for for medium-width (long rectangle, maybe 16-24" wide), light/medium weight scarves (probably the most common form available):
(1) simple loop knot: tie a loose simple overhand knot about--oh, say, 12" from one end of the scarf. Run the other end through the knot, put the loop over your head, and tighten the knot slightly. The ends can be even or asymmetrical. You can play around with how far up/down you position the knot to get the best look for your particular breastiage.

(2) fake infinity scarf: take the same kind of scarf as above and tie a small granny knot between two corners on either end (you can do either diagonal corners or straight-across corners). Form the scarf into a double loop and slip over your head. Positioning the knot at the front several inches up from the lowest point so that one "tail" from the knot hangs down in a triangle more or less at the center apex and the other tail is off to the side, with the second loop tugged down so it's more or less the same length as the first loop and hides the knot.

There are a lot of how-tos at scarf.net, along with shopping options. A pashima-width (26-28") is probably a little more bulky than what you're looking for. They've also got tutorials for head-scarfs, which can be a good look to explore with long hair. I've got a similar aesthetic as you, and when I had long hair I used to wear variants on this simple head knot with long lightweight scarves, or pirate/bandanna arrangements with large squares.
posted by drlith at 6:01 AM on July 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

The tying method Wendy calls Magic Trick works well on me (also busty). It can be made to lie very flat if you use a thin scarf and doesn't slide around much.
posted by waterlily at 6:18 AM on July 23, 2013

I have several scarves about 10in x 4-5ft, and medium-length hair. I frequently fold/roll the scarf lengthwise and treat it like a big fluffy hair ribbon, either around a ponytail for the smaller ones or as a headband ribbon, with the tails of the scarf dangling out longer than my hair in back. I think it's fun to have to accent on the back, especially since like you're saying, most outfits are busier in front.

My other favorite is just a straightforward loop-around-the-neck. I've never been someone who wears chunky jewelry, but I like thinking of a scarf as being equivalent to some bright-colored big-bead necklace.
posted by aimedwander at 6:25 AM on July 23, 2013

I seem to get great scarf wearing/tying ideas from Pinterest.
posted by cecic at 6:46 AM on July 23, 2013

I have a hard time with lightweight scarves. If your look is casual you may want to go with heavier weight scarves that are more knitted/woven. I am also a busty casual dresser and I find that having long (4-6') scarves that are narrow (4-6") means that I can wear them in lower loops (sort of like this or some of the examples on this page) which can actually frame your face and neck decently, especially if you wear your hair up. Like aimedwanderer I treat them like chunky necklaces a lot of the time.
posted by jessamyn at 7:30 AM on July 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Re: shopping, I've had great luck buying scarves on Ebay-- for whatever reason there are a billion Asian retailers of super-cheap, super-varied accessories on there, and you can generally get nice-looking formal or casual scarves in the $1-$5 range, shipping from HK/China included. Of course, the fabric's not fantastic (e.g. we're talking acetate, rayon, dubious cotton or polyester, not silk/wool), but the patterns are nice and the scarves themselves IME are perfectly wearable. Ali Express might be another online place to check out, and thrift stores sometimes have quite nice silk scarves.

Re: wearing, I (not busty but short-necked) do like a long, narrow, relatively lightweight scarf knotted simply under a cardigan or a jacket-- particularly if there's a cami or a relatively low-cut tee underneath, so you're showing a little decolletage to open up your face. Keeping the knot down low (like at your cleavage, not at your throat) helps avoid the squattifying effect; if you find that the low knot comes undone or slides up, safety/scarf pins can help with that.
posted by Bardolph at 7:58 AM on July 23, 2013

The (sadly no longer updated) Academichic blog has a scarf tying bibliography as well as archived posts about different ways to tie scarves.

Already Pretty has a lot of posts about scarves and figure flattery (including how to determine your own figure flattery priorities) if you care to peruse.
posted by bbq_ribs at 8:17 AM on July 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Perhaps you need a copy of this inspiring book.

(I'm not kidding - I bought it for a friend once, and she loved it.)
posted by Dr. Wu at 8:58 AM on July 23, 2013

Neckerchief is a smaller scarf. Here are some nice ways to wear one. It helps eliminate the bulk of a full sized scarf, yet gives you the nice color accent. I have worn full sized scarfs in some of these styles with great success. Small safety pins can help hold the scarf in place.

Two additional ways to wear a square scarf:

Fold into a triangle, place the point side of the triangle down your back, bring the other two ends to the front and tie a small knot.

Tie the scarf on your purse.
posted by JujuB at 10:03 AM on July 23, 2013

Scarves look great with collarless tops. You can use it to create a V: tie a knot at about waist-level, or tie it like a man's tie with the knot low. Those of us who are busty look good when the chest expanse is divided into different areas. You can also just wear a scarf hanging down straight to create a vertical line in the center. Try this with a knot in each end, as well.
posted by wryly at 6:03 PM on July 23, 2013

Mai Tai's Picture Book has a stack of how-to's on tying a scarf and making it work with your clothing - just keep looking till you find one that works for you. (scroll down a bit an look in the right-hand sidebar)

(note, she classifies scarf sizes by how Hermes sells them - all you need to know is that the number refers to the scarf's dimensions in centimetres)
posted by girlgenius at 6:43 PM on July 23, 2013

The Vivienne Files was recommended in another Ask thread. She bases a lot of her outfit ideas on scarves, highlighting the pattern and the colours. She generally dresses very simply and lets her accessories take center stage.
posted by third word on a random page at 3:48 AM on July 24, 2013 [1 favorite]