Unique events with friends/family members?
July 9, 2013 4:33 AM   Subscribe

What kinds of offbeat/unique things do you do (or have you done) on a regular or irregular basis with your friends or family members?

I recently read The Night Circus. One of the plot elements is the "midnight dinner," an irregular gathering of friends and business associates. The dinner is held at the host's home, and guests arrive sometime before midnight (presumably no earlier than 10:30 or 11:00). At midnight, the guests eat the first course of a delectable multi-course meal that lasts deep into the night. Conversation and wine are plentiful.

This got me thinking...what kinds of offbeat/unique things do you do (or have you done) on a regular or irregular basis with your friends or family members? Midnight dinners of your own, perhaps? The more unique the better! (Bonus points if you have kids and pull off your events, or if you are able to include kids in your events.)
posted by st starseed to Grab Bag (33 answers total) 118 users marked this as a favorite
 
A day at the racetrack works to entertain a lot of adults and doesn't have to mean big spending. Can even be child friendly as you can get pretty close to the horses at some tracks.. Where I live they also have point-to-point, a sort of temporary course with betting.
posted by biffa at 5:08 AM on July 9, 2013


My daughter (who is currently 12) and I have an annual tradition called Late Night. One night during summer vacation, she gets to stay up as late as she wants -- midnight, 1 am, whatever. We are typically pretty strict about bedtime, so this is a major highlight of the year for her.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:09 AM on July 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


Oh, my wife has also recently started a tradition with our daughter of taking her on an overnight trip to the beach during the summer, just the two of them. They stay in a nice-ish hotel and get to lounge around on the beach for a couple of days straight and eat pizza and ice cream.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:10 AM on July 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Homesick for Japan, I led a roomful of skeptical mid-Westerners to a box karaoke, the type where you rent a room for you and your friends. They all loved it, and one of the couples (sixties) immediately booked the large room for an upcoming party including guests all the way from grandparents to little kids. (This was DoReMi in Eagan, MN.)

Advantages: You pay per room, not per guest. All ages can enjoy. People who need to go home early, can. No mobility issues (you can sit the whole night, but you can dance and climb on the tables, too). Usually has a restaurant or bar attached.
posted by whatzit at 5:19 AM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


On 1 December every year my father would start reading A Christmas Carol to us each evening at bedtime. On Christmas Eve we would eat at the local Chinese restaurant, come home and finish the last of the book before bed.
posted by humph at 5:26 AM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Annual heptathlon (with women's outdoors rules, decathlon would be too difficult with pole vault and all) between 4 brothers. If there are injuries or other reason, it can be more relaxed park- or pub sports. There has to be a scoring system between events.
posted by Free word order! at 5:31 AM on July 9, 2013


Being Jewish, Christmas day was always so boring for us. My parents used to take us into San Francisco. In the morning, we'd ride the Sausalito ferry back and forth, then we'd go to Woey Loy Goey for lunch, then a movie (usually an oldie at the art cinema.)


As long as we lived in California, this was our gig. We still talk about Captian Andy on the Ferry and having the whole thing to ourselves.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:40 AM on July 9, 2013


We do half-birthdays at the six-month mark between real birthdays. We make half a cake and sing every other word of "Happy Birthday".

Also, our family tradition when singing "Happy Birthday" on the legit birthdays is to deliberately sing it as loud and as obnoxiously off-key as possible. It makes for great fun.
posted by DWRoelands at 5:43 AM on July 9, 2013 [13 favorites]


Not sure if these qualify, but every Sunday night while my kids were growing up was Chocolate Milkshake night. Instead of the usual milk for the kids and wine or beer for the parents with dinner, I would make huge, HUGE milkshakes for the entire family. It served as a big lead in to a new week.

We also give/gave each child a DK (Don't Know) day every school year. They have one day a year to not go to school for any reason or no reason, no questions asked. It has been an interesting social experiment to see how each kid uses theirs. One takes it early in the year. One would hoard it and even asked if it could carry over or be sold to a sibling and one would just wake up randomly and say he was taking his DK day and could be found in the family room after noon (back to sleep) if anyone needed him.

Finally, I would also have a "yes day" for every child each year. I would not announce it in advance or even confirm it the day of, but one day for each child each year, I would answer yes to virtually any request. "Can we get pizza for breakfast?" Yes. Can I stay up and watch the end of the Yankee game? Yup. No reasonable request was refused. As they got older, they started to catch on and ask for more of a reach type items. I tried to do it a few days after they had had a bad day or a bad week or something that was getting them down. This would probably have worked real well with a spouse too.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:53 AM on July 9, 2013 [96 favorites]


Some of these suggestions are so great, especially from the parent-mefites. A total antidote, for a yet-to-be-parent, to all the "my kid is doing [x horrific thing] is this normal??!" threads.

My brothers and I have a number of weird family traditions but one of my favourites is Insane Sports. Whenever we all get together, we will play something like golf, rugby or frisbee, but the rules are quite similar to Brockian Ultra Cricket and along the lines of:

- Players must fashion a uniform out of the most ridiculous clothes and accessories that they have access to (trousers tucked into socks, obnoxious hats, sequins whenever possible)
- Players may change allegiance to whatever teams are established as often as required
- Fouls are encouraged
- If there is a referee, disagreements should be settled via a wrestling match which other players may also involve themselves in
posted by greenish at 6:29 AM on July 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


One of my friends and I have a semi-regular tradition of getting together to read children's picture books aloud to each other. (Neither of us have children.) Sometimes we camp out in the kids section of a bookstore for a while, sometimes we check out library books and take them to a city park. The latter approach is more fun.

This started during a stretch when we were both going through stressful events and in need of distraction, and kept going once we realized that kids' books are fun anytime.
posted by ActionPopulated at 6:52 AM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I once had an "Interesting People Party". Ask everyone you invite to bring someone from their lives that they find interesting. At the party, everyone intoduces their guest and explains why they find their guest interesting.

Someone brought their grandmother, a neighbor. Bonus: makes the guest feel awesome, and introduces each of us to people we wouldn't normally meet.
posted by vitabellosi at 7:13 AM on July 9, 2013 [19 favorites]


From the time we turned seven years old till we grew up & moved out, my dad would take each of us out --- one-on-one, just him and one kid --- to a restaurant of our choosing shortly after our birthdays each year. This occasionally resulted in times like when my youngest sister picked a place that, back in 1967, cost over $250 for their two dinners; but as one of several kids, it was a pretty special thing to do.

And for the weird family traditions file: we had a long-running family joke about how unfair it was that we kids were excluded, once again!, from the annual "orphans' picnic" because we were stuck with two healthy parents --- the 'orphans', you see, supposedly got the GOOD fried chicken and potato salad as well as extra deviled eggs, unlike the burned chicken Dad always grilled. Ever since our parents have been gone, the first thing we do at family get-togethers is a private lunch that we call the Orphans' Picnic. We open with a toast, of course, but that's an outgrowth of another family tradition of always toasting *something*: you can toast Happy Birthday (even though its nowhere near anyone's birthday), St. Patrick's Day or Merry Christmas (who cares if it's June?!?) or anything else you feel like toasting.
posted by easily confused at 7:27 AM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


My friends have been holding food-themed birthday parties for one of our friends for almost 30 years. Past themes have included blue food, flaming food, aphrodisiac food, poison food, rotten food, historic food, food you hated as a kid but love today (or vice versa), and PIE. (The latter two themes were among the most delicious.)
posted by ottereroticist at 9:10 AM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


When we have big family get togethers we usually do a family build event. Last time a brother brought model rocket motors and glue guns. We all spent the afternoon improvising model rockets. then shot them all off in the evening. Another time we formed ad-hoc teams and built chairs/stools/benches/etc out of found materials. It's pretty unstructured, and it's not really competitive. But it's a great way to share experiences and we end up with a physical artifact to remind us of the awesome times.
posted by Ookseer at 9:11 AM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm not sure if this counts but my husband is the rules guy and I am not. So my 5 year old son started "crazy days".

We go to Cape Cod and once over the Bourne Bridge it starts. Electronics in the car, overnight at a place with an indoor wave pool, any thing at meals, buy stuff in a gift shop, and stay up until you want.

Once we are back over the bridge, back to real life!
posted by beccaj at 9:22 AM on July 9, 2013


. One of the plot elements is the "midnight dinner," an irregular gathering of friends and business associates. The dinner is held at the host's home, and guests arrive sometime before midnight (presumably no earlier than 10:30 or 11:00). At midnight, the guests eat the first course of a delectable multi-course meal that lasts deep into the night. Conversation and wine are plentiful.

This sounds like a scene out of a Thomas Pynchon or Don DeLillo novel, and thus is essentially a fantasy. Asking if people do anything like this is like asking if they were ever a member of a "Fight Club."

My experience is that if there's a thing you like doing, if you invite lots of other people to join you, they will show up. I, myself, enjoy brunch. So a friend of mine and I, about once every month or two, will tell about 20-30 people (via facebook), "We're getting brunch at this place. Come join us. Or not." And several people show up and we have a good time having brunch and drinking. Another friend of mine would have basically an open brunch at his house, where all his friends knew that on a late Sunday morning, he would be making sourdough pancakes and listening to This American Life, and that would be the place to be for many of his friends that morning.

If there's some more unusual or off-beat thing you do, though, keep doing that, but ask other people to join you.
posted by deanc at 9:24 AM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Around Christmastime, my eldest niece and I have a traditional outing called Day! Of! Nothing! When she was little, it was a chance for her to do some shopping for gifts for her parents; when they would ask what we had planned, we would answer with a coy "Oh, nothing!"

We would take our time wandering through the stores of our busy, festive downtown district. Maybe we would buy some gifts, maybe not. We would stop for lunch and, later, for peppermint hot chocolate. We always visited the toy store and the book store and the library.

One year when she was recovering from a cold, she seemed tuckered out. I let her decide: keep shopping and I'd take her out for dinner, or go home early, or go over to my home for grilled cheese sandwiches and soup? She chose grilled cheese and soup at my place, and now that's the traditional end to Day! Of! Nothing!

More than anything, Day! Of! Nothing! is a chance to take a breather during a bustling, sometimes stressful holiday season and just enjoy the lights, the snow, the company.

Now that she's an adult and able to shop on her own, she can of course do her holiday shopping on her own. But so far, she still finds time for Day! Of! Nothing! as a chance to catch up and relax during a busy time. We still wander through the prettily decorated downtown district. We still get peppermint hot chocolate*. We still end it as soon as she's tired, and we still have grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

Last year, she told me in a scandalized voice that our favorite coffeehouse had stopped putting mini candy canes in the peppermint hot chocolate. On Day! Of! Nothing! I stashed some in my pocket and, when our hot chocolates arrived, I popped a peppermint stick into each cup. The delight on her face turned my grown-up niece back into a six-year-old for a few seconds.
posted by Elsa at 9:46 AM on July 9, 2013 [20 favorites]


My brother and his close friends have some sort of Big Lebowski themed day every year called The Lazy Man Olympics. There are teams, team tshirts, special prizes and, of course, lots of White Russians. He's pretty secretive about it, so I don't really know much more. I think they bowl and play bocce ball on someoneone's lawn.

My in-laws used to host an annual cribbage tournament. I live 3,000 miles away so I've never participated, but it sounds legendary.
posted by katie at 10:10 AM on July 9, 2013


I've got a couple of made up holidays, including "Gygesringtone has a deer leg in his freezer," where I grill a venison haunch and invite just about everyone I know. Kids get a wading pool, squirt guns and are let loose in the common grassy area outside our town home, with relevant adults wandering by every once in awhile to squirt them all with the hose. The other is a multi course beer dinner that every takes a course, brings the food and a beer to match, and an extra bottle for an exchange, invites to that are very coveted. The kids get special soda and tend to sort of wander off in between courses and play.

I also randomly throw other feasts just because I like to. The key to doing this kind of thing with kids is to give them something special too. It also helps start them at around 3:00-4:00 so even if it lasts 6 hours they're still home before too late. Oh and having a quiet room for the smaller ones to crash in is always recommended.

This sounds like a scene out of a Thomas Pynchon or Don DeLillo novel, and thus is essentially a fantasy.

I've been to more than one of those thrown by friends over the years. There's usually some anniversary or important day that they can't wait to celebrate, but one was because they had a great place out in the country and wanted to star gaze with friends and food. Just because it's not the kind of thing your friends would do doesn't mean that nobodies friends do it.
posted by Gygesringtone at 10:13 AM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Friday croquet lunch.

Once upon a time I was a PhD student in economics. (It was the 90s, I was young and did not know any better.) Our first year microeconomics professor was kind of nuts. Almost every week culminated in having a massive problem set completed and ready to hand in at the beginning of class on Friday, followed immediately by a 'midterm' exam. We had 12 or 13 of these Friday 'midterms' in a row.

About a dozen of us had joined forces as a study group to work the problem sets together. And we very quickly came to realize: between working on the problem set all week AND preparing for and then taking an exam every week, we were wiped by the time micro let out each Friday at noon. So, we took to setting up a really nice croquet set on the quad right in front of the Econ department every Friday after the exam, and bringing coolers full of beer and other beverages, bottles of wine, and baskets of snacks.

Croquet mallet in one hand, beer in the other, maybe pause for a bite of sandwich now and then, we would play, taunt one another, sing (this was part of the game, in a variant called 'poison'), get progressively drunker and gradually forget the pains of the week just past. It was a sanity-preserving ritual for a less-than-sane time.

We would not find out until a long time later that the Econ faculty had a different take on our activities: insubordination. But that is another story.
posted by fikri at 11:17 AM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Our constant tradition is Midnight Thanksgiving. We always make the guests come in costume and we take a family portrait.

Every birthday in our group is reason for celebrating something- we've had BBC Sherlock parties, Silence of the Lamb parties, 80's bowling parties, Xfiles parties, silly sock puppet parties.... the list goes on forever-- but the idea is to take something you really love and have everyone revel in it with you for your birthday.

When my best friend got married, everyone had to wear a silly hat.

Out Halloween months are always themed and totally wacky. yes, I said Halloween Month. We've made our own ouija boards, monsters, had scavenger hunts, etc.

My husband & I watch the Tree Lighting in Pioneer Square every year.
posted by haplesschild at 12:21 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


In my family, we take a one-week vacation in February that's always planned by one person, and kept totally secret from the other family members, who are forced to guess where we are going as we head out.

We love surprise trips in general. We've taken both sets of parents to Europe on surprise trips. We eloped on a trip ourselves. We have announced to our parents that we're going to one place for a week (say, Utah), and then called them from where we actually went (North Africa) just for the joy of surprising them. For some reason, this thrills my parents beyond compare. I think they like that we're adventurous and aren't afraid of bending the truth to make a good story.

My parents throw a black-tie dinner at their house with their choir friends each New Years Day. Everyone comes in full formal dress and my parents serve a multi-course meal with wine flights. I've never been invited :( but I have thrown a surprise black-tie dinner for them at a castle, which they loved more than anything in the world.
posted by Capri at 1:50 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


My friends and I have Bracket Club about once a month. About a week into the cycle, the hosts announce the topic (this month it's sports figures from our city.) Everyone submits their top ten votes, and then the hosts reverse weight them and compile the lists. From that, they construct a 64 entry bracket, and then we all vote on that. And drink. And bribe each other. And yell. It gets pretty heated at times.

Bracket Club is the highlight of my month.
posted by punchtothehead at 2:15 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Thanksgiving Day leftover feast.

My family is rather scattered around the US, but most people end up on the east coast for Thanksgiving, with whatever nuclear/small family they have. The friday after Thanksgiving, all the cousins of my mother's generation (about 8 of them, each with a family) gather to go for the first day of skiing in the catskills (no matter the quality of snow), competitive monopoly playing and feasting on the various leftovers from everyone elses's thanksgiving feast.

Within everyone's subset of family we all have different variations of the traditional foods, and it's the one time you get to test out everyone elses's turkey, gravy, sides and pies etc. Family members will drive for hours from Maine or West Virginia just for the leftover feast.

It's also traditionally the first time you are allowed to drink with the family- usually when you become a senior in HS.

Its also the only time we see extended family outside of funerals.

We also no longer play certain boardgames in after the Risk incident of 2008, yet amazingly we've played multi day campaigns of Monopoly with no issue.
posted by larthegreat at 3:21 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


My friends and I have Friendsgiving, which is usually right around Thanksgiving but before everyone leaves town or has their relatives come to stay for actual Thanksgiving.

We've also had Friendsgiving in July, because many of us get Christmas turkeys from work that linger and take up room in our freezers. Someone will say, "I'm cooking this damn bird! Let's have Friendsgiving!" and the rest of us know that it's time to break out the cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes.
posted by zoetrope at 3:27 PM on July 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


A group of my college friends who all live in the same neighborhood and I meet every Wednesday at one of our apartments to watch terrible reality tv (america's next top model or whatever is similar at that time of year) and get takeout thai or mexican.
It's not much of an event since people drop in and out and it happens each week, but I always try to go and it makes me happy to have that night when I know I will see some of my old friends. And now that some of them have babies, they either host or bring the kids with them so I get to see the babies grow up week by week with minimal effort on either of our parts.
posted by rmless at 4:45 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


A friend of mine has a monthly(ish) curry competition. Anyone he knows can attend, but has to bring a curry, with recipe attached. Throughout the evening, people keep scorecards for each curry they taste. The grand winner is announced at the end, and there are also minor categories like "spiciest" or "weirdest". The grand winner has to plan and/or host the next competition.

***

My parents led my brother and me to believe that the next one was not a family tradition but was a rule for all five year olds on the planet: On a five-year-old's fifth birthday, the opposite-sex parent has to take to the kid to the fanciest restaurant in town on a "date". They dress up posh, and order posh food, and the kid has to use perfect table manners (including all the more esoteric ones like how to lay down cutlery at the end of the meal to indicate whether one has finished or not, and whether to tear or cut bread rolls, etc). If the kid gets it all correct, they are allowed to turn five, otherwise they have to do-over their fourth year. We "studied" and practised table manners for WEEKS leading up to our fifth birthdays, and got compliments from strangers about our etiquette for years afterwards!

***

Finally this one is probably pretty well known because it was popular in the 80s, but seems to have fallen out of fashion nowadays: the "regressive" dinner party. A progressive dinner has a group of friends who go from one person's house to the next for each course, so that each person only has to host e.g. appetisers, or mains, or desserts, not the whole party. A REgressive dinner does it in reverse. At the first house you have coffee and chocolates. At the next, dessert. At the next house you do mains. Then you go to the next one for appetisers, and then to the final house for a "pre"-dinner cocktail.
posted by lollusc at 9:05 PM on July 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


I've already posted this in a previous thread that may be helpful:

May Ditch Day. On the first nice day in Spring (generally in May), my daughter would get to stay home from school, and most of the rest of the family would call in sick to work (even her uncle and grandparents), and we'd all pile in the car and go get ice cream cones. Then we'd eat them while driving around with the car windows open and silly music playing really loudly. We were especially fond of The Monkees theme song, and anything by the Ramones or Abba.

When my daughter was about 26, she was going through a really rough patch in life and I had to fly up to her city to be with her for a weekend. She was pretty much breaking into tears everywhere we went, until finally I suggested we have May Ditch Day. We went and got ice cream and did the driving around with the Ramones playing thing. It didn't fix all her problems that weekend, but it did cheer her up for a few hours.

posted by MexicanYenta at 10:13 PM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Backwards dinner was a favourite when we were kids. The whole family would get dressed up in fancy dress and eat a special dinner by candlelight but start with pudding and work our way back to starters. I have such special memories of that. My Mum would always chide us to eat up our pudding or we wouldn't get any dinner which was a hilarious reversal for us.

Also we hold Mockmas every year which is a casual Christmas party for all of our friends with it's on set of traditions and rules. Normally happens early December before we're all sick of the festivities.
posted by Dorothia at 6:58 AM on July 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Late getting back here, but I've thought of another:

Way back in the '60s, long before ninety-'leven cable channels or VCRs or DVDs or anything like that, it was A Big Event that once a year, The Wizard of Oz would run one Sunday evening on TV --- you young'uns will just have to believe me that this was something very special.

My parents were normally very firm believers in the family dinner: healthy, balanced meals which were to be eaten while seated properly at the dining room table, with formal place settings, proper manners and posture; nothing but a parental-approved illness would excuse any of us kids.

But on that one day, once a year, that Oz was on? That's the one day a year that dinner consisted entirely of a selection of finger foods (canapes'! interesting things stuffed in cherry tomatoes or celery! a variety of crackers bearing all kinds of neat goodies! cocktail weiners!) along with (instead of our normal milk) the most oddball flavors of soda they could find, served in stemware, and all while we sprawled around on the living room floor, watching Dorothy and her friends.

It was glorious.
posted by easily confused at 1:56 PM on July 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


For about 7 years, some of my childhood friends and I send around a weekly (give or take) list of about 5 items we're curious about others' opinions on and experiences with. A sample list would be something like: "chapstick, 5.1 systems, Mini Coopers, jalapeno poppers, Abraham Lincoln". Everybody replies with 1-10 sentences per item at some point. It was just 3 of us, but now our partners & siblings & siblings' partners play too. We've thought about compiling this into a strange little choose-your-own-adventure bathroom reader book. ("For Pat's responses to this list, turn to page 38. For Knile's responses, turn to page 79.")

In the annual-fake-holiday category, my college friend Jurph introduced Cheese Day, which I try to observe every year in some way.

My favorite regular event is my friend's family's annual Chicken Day. I've missed the past 2 years, after a good 10+ years of attendance, but I got to talk with them at length about it this weekend. It's an annual (usually summer) daylong party held in their backyard, 30 years strong now. It started as two or three families getting together to barbecue (low & slow grills over coals and cinder blocks) some chicken. The recipe is a variant on that, and a well-kept secret by the grillmaster known as "Mr. Chicken". It's now a much bigger event, with about 30-50 people showing up at any point. There are prizes for guessing when the chicken will be done. The house is covered in chicken paraphernalia. Adult beverages are consumed. Kids and younger adults (those of us in the 20-30s set) have a sidewalk chalk competition. Rubber chickens are rocket-launched. The original family's daughters bring their college friends, their partners, their in-laws. One family brings their Fresh Air Fund kid every time. Planning for a next year's event is now taking place, a week after this year's happened, with discussions of new contests, surveys for attendees to weigh in on possible future changes, and other almost-absurd notions of how to improve and expand an awesome family tradition.
posted by knile at 10:04 AM on July 15, 2013


This sounds like a scene out of a Thomas Pynchon or Don DeLillo novel, and thus is essentially a fantasy. Asking if people do anything like this is like asking if they were ever a member of a "Fight Club."

Really? People really do do these type of things.

Night hikes/explorations:
Part of how I got to be very good friends with one friend, was the realisation we essentially had , so they'd text me at 2am and point out it was a lovely night, and the moon was SO bright, wouldn't it be nice to go for a walk in the Botanic Gardens?
We ended up going for night walks in parks quite often, and even what you could consider night hikes - walking for hours along ridgeline trails, until we finally got to the coast, watched sunrise, then caught a bus home once the buses started running.

Friends used to attend a naked potluck. I used to go a seasonal celebration where people would songs, poems, stories to share before, or while we ate.
posted by Elysum at 7:38 PM on January 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


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