Help me get the eBay item I did not win due to a technical malfunction!
May 23, 2013 12:50 PM   Subscribe

What could I write to the winning bidder of an eBay fashion accessory item on which I had intended to bid very high, but finally could not do by a glitch that prevented the "Bid now" window from opening in my browser. I am willing to pay them much more than they paid for the item, but is there anything I could say that would make them more willing to part with the item? What could a stranger say to you in writing that would make you even consider parting with a beautiful new purchase (when maybe a tidy profit over the price you paid was in itself not necessarily such a powerful inducement?)

I recently came across an eBay item -- a male fashion accessory -- that was perfectly "me." My heart was set on it, and to ensure that I would be the winner of the item, I set my maximum bid amount very high on it (higher than one could reasonably expect that particular item to reach). There were only two other bidders, and the current bid was only a dollar above the reasonable opening bid. As is my usual practice, I left my bidding to the last minutes of the auction in order to avoid driving up the price of the item. Alas, for the first time in my eBay bidding history, disaster struck when I entered my highest offer and clicked on the button: the javascript "Bid now" popup failed to open! I tried a few times, with under two minutes left to go, but no luck. Desperate, I quickly opened another browser, however there were a bunch of pages to open, and by the time I managed to login to eBay and bring up the item page, the auction had ended. The item sold for a dollar above the opening amount :(

Crushed, I contacted both the eBay and the seller, but neither was able or willing to cancel the transaction or relist the item due to the technical malfunction that was no fault of mine. I am still heartbroken over this. I will be able to contact the winning bidder via Ebay. I plan to make a generous offer for the item, but more than that, what could I possibly say that would make them willing to sell it to me? I know that I am hoping against hope here, and if the winning bidder is unwilling to sell, then I have to accept that, but please help me make my one last shot at this my best to obtain my heart's desire!
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (18 answers total)
 
I wouldn't mention the technical difficulties bit, it sounds a little too sour grapes to me. I would keep it simple and professional sounding so they know it's sincere, otherwise you have a high risk of coming off as a scammer.

"Hello _____. I noticed that you recently won an item from an auction that I was following closely. Unfortunately I was unable to bid on the item at the time. Would you be willing to resell the item to me once you have received it? I am willing to pay over the price that you won it for. Please let me know if you are interested in reselling it, otherwise enjoy your new male accessory."

Or something along those lines.
posted by Think_Long at 12:55 PM on May 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


[...] due to the technical malfunction that was no fault of mine

Well, yes, not planning for technical issues is your fault. That's not your question, but I wanted to bring it up because mentioning that to the winning bidder would make you look silly, at best.

what could I possibly say that would make them willing to sell it to me?

You're overthinking this. Make this simple for them. "I didn't end up winning the auction, but I'm willing to buy the item from you for $xxx right now". Don't offer complicated payment terms (PayPal drawn from a checking account is pretty good; a money order would be better). Let this be on their terms, not your terms. The best thing for them is to make the transaction easy, not to try to convince them to sell you the item. Trying to convince them to sell you the item again makes you look a bit odd (it's just a fashion accessory), indicates to them that you're willing to pay a very high price, and, at worst, makes you look like a scammer.
posted by saeculorum at 12:57 PM on May 23, 2013 [11 favorites]


I'd go through their learning online center, but outside of what you've done, that's about it.

If you decide to contact the winner, I'd advise you ensure you aren't running afoul of the "buying outside of eBay policies" guidelines you agreed to as an eBay user.
posted by tilde at 12:57 PM on May 23, 2013


Reading your question, I'm sort of picturing you holding the back of your hand up to your head and casting about for the nearest fainting couch; my advice would be to dial it back a bit. Avoid coming across as if this item is all that stands between you and happiness, and don't tell the buyer about your technical woes - that makes it sound like you're saying they should sell it to you because you really "deserve" it more than they do.

Short, simple, and to the point is what you want to go for here. Think_Long's words would be perfect.
posted by DingoMutt at 12:58 PM on May 23, 2013


You know what? I buy a lot of stuff on eBay, and "I really, really like this thing which is totally me, so please sell it to me instead of keeping it" is just not very persuasive. The only way I would sell something that I had wanted and bought would be precisely for that substantial profit. And "there was a technical glitch which meant that I should have won the auction" would cut no ice with me whatsoever, particularly in the context of "I waited to bid until the last minute". (Something which I also do sometimes, but which carries precisely the risk you describe.)

"Dear Buyer,

I know this is a slightly odd request, but I wonder if you would consider re-selling me the [ITEM] that you recently won for a price of $LARGE AMOUNT? I had been looking for ITEM for a long time, was very sorry to accidentally miss bidding and would be willing to pay substantially over auction close if you would be at all interested in selling. If this is of interest, I would be glad to do this via a Buy-It-Now on eBay if you would prefer. Please let me know!

Thanks,
Anonymous"

Do not mention anything which suggests that the auction was unfair, or that you should have won it, or that there was a technical glitch - that comes off as very entitled, even though I know it's coming from a place of "goddamn, I didn't mean to lose out on that".

I prefer to keep my eBay related transactions on eBay when possible, just because it keeps t hings simpler and more secure even though eBay is a flawed system, so I would offer to do this as a Buy-It-Now with them.

Honestly, though, this is just the breaks - as a seller, I feel the same pain when I sell something awesome for a ridiculously low price because only one person bids, but that's just how things go. I would not cancel a transaction because of this, since that is against eBay rules (and they can freeze your account) and it seems against the spirit of the thing.
posted by Frowner at 12:59 PM on May 23, 2013 [17 favorites]


Nobody cares about your story.

"Hi, I like that thing. I'll give you $X.X for it."

If they say "no", leave it at that and accept that maybe it wasn't meant for you after all.
posted by bondcliff at 1:01 PM on May 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


I agree that with all the above advice. And remember, you actually don't know if you would have won the auction. The person with existing bid might have had a much higher proxy bid in place, even higher than the one you were planning to place.
posted by kimdog at 1:02 PM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


what could I possibly say that would make them willing to sell it to me?

Anything that's going to let them know you are a real person who is serious about the offer and not a scammer. Note that your story about what happened is not in that category.
posted by yohko at 1:07 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Are you sure it's even possible to contact the winner? I thought the usernames of other bidders were obscured these days.
I'd write it off and just keep watch for the next one - there's a very, very small number of things on eBay that are truly one-of-a-kind. Patience is the key to successful eBaying. Well, that and a decent sniping tool.
posted by anagrama at 1:11 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


You can't just... find the thing elsewhere? Who made it?
posted by AmandaA at 1:31 PM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'd sliiiiiightly disagree with the story. I like stories. But, make sure they know you're not intending to scam them. Offer them $ (don't just say "how much would you accept") and say that if they'd like, they can set up a buy-it-now on ebay and you'll buy it directly there.

Then, don't write again (even if you get no response)
posted by arnicae at 1:34 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


The winning bidder does not care about your story. You can present an offer simply and casually without drama, and they will either accept it or they won't. Please be prepared to walk away without (unintentionally) harassing the user.
posted by sarahnicolesays at 1:42 PM on May 23, 2013


Like anagrama I am confused how you are able to contact the buyer (unless he's left feedback for the seller). But if you do have the buyer's username, look up his feedback and especially his feedback left for others. You can learn a lot about a person's eBay persona this way and tailor your approach to what you find out. Does he seem friendly or standoffish? Is he buying this stuff for his own use or to resell? Does he buy a ton of stuff or is this the only thing he's bought recently?

I also wonder if you cannot find another one of these accessories. Have you done a completed items search for it? You can also set up a search and save it, having eBay email you daily if anything is listed that matches the search.
posted by payoto at 2:07 PM on May 23, 2013


Nthing - just approach the buyer and tell them you were following that item too and would they sell it? If so, what price? Don't go into the tech difficulties or act like it wasn't fair.

I sold a bunch of saxophone stuff for a friend recently on eBay. I'd estimate half the buyers (if not more) were buying for resale - either as pro ebayers or to stock a bricks and mortar shop. Any of those guys would of course be receptive. The mom who bought a tenor sax for her son and asked me to put a sweet gift message on it - doubtful!

So it'll either work or it won't - you have nothing to lose with the direct approach.
posted by randomkeystrike at 2:53 PM on May 23, 2013


Nthing that I'm not sure how you will get the winning bidder's info, and if I were that winning bidder and was then contacted by a stranger, I would be pretty pissed that my privacy was invaded and would definitely leave negative feedback for the seller who provided it.

Assuming you can somehow make this contact, however, the only story that would work for me is sentimental value - You had identical item X, it was a gift and you lost it (or you wanted to buy it as a gift for person who loved it and lost it). There is no amount of "I wanted it more" or "I deserve it more based on bid i would have placed but didn't" that would make me care, but getting involved in helping someone repair an item-based relationship issue, maybe.

I also wouldn't list a crazy high price as an offer - you sound like one of those craigslist money-order scammers and I would never give my paypal info to someone offering a crazy price for something. Maybe if you said "name your price," so it was up to the buyer what money they would want.

All that being said, ebay has saved searches. They email you when the item you want turns up (and they frequently do). Maybe let this one go as a lesson learned.
posted by Mchelly at 4:14 PM on May 23, 2013


I don't understand how you think you are able to contact the winning bidder? Several years ago eBay made changes that effectively anonymized bidders' usernames for other bidders. Unless the seller has told you the username of the winning bidder it would be difficult to find this out.

If I was the winning bidder on an item and a competing bidder managed to somehow find out my username and contact me, I would be weirded out and suspect a scam because I would know that they would have had to jump through some hoops to get my username in the first place.
posted by RubyScarlet at 10:33 PM on May 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Also, for next time: use AuctionSniper or a similar tool to automate your last-minute bids. I've been using AuctionSniper for years personally and it has never failed me. It also takes a lot of the emotion out of frantic last-minute bidding and prevents me getting carried away - I just set my maximum bid and then sit back and let the chips fall where they may.
posted by RubyScarlet at 10:37 PM on May 23, 2013


There will always be another auction.
posted by cass at 1:21 PM on May 28, 2013


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