Let go of job after 12 yrs
May 2, 2013 4:07 AM Subscribe
I was let go of my job of 12 yrs recently, due to a personal situation. This situation coincided with our annual appraisals and hence the boss decided that it was time to part ways, and I was given the option to submit my resignation with three months notice period.
The personal situation is due to differences with my wife , with whom I am in a legal rift of dowry. This is India, Delhi. She apparently sent an email to HR, which was escalated to my seniors. The HR did not discuss anything with me, and I was surprised and taken aback when my boss brought it up.
Now I have resigned and it is painful to serve the notice period , considering I was let go. I was the oldest employee in the firm. My question is should I consider speaking to HR if some other arrangements can be made, meaning they can give me the option of severance for this time I have to serve notice, so I can better use this time to search job , or think of something else. How do I explain the situation to my future employers, with any possible gap? Should I continue in this situation, and try to find another job?
Sorry for the long question.
The personal situation is due to differences with my wife , with whom I am in a legal rift of dowry. This is India, Delhi. She apparently sent an email to HR, which was escalated to my seniors. The HR did not discuss anything with me, and I was surprised and taken aback when my boss brought it up.
Now I have resigned and it is painful to serve the notice period , considering I was let go. I was the oldest employee in the firm. My question is should I consider speaking to HR if some other arrangements can be made, meaning they can give me the option of severance for this time I have to serve notice, so I can better use this time to search job , or think of something else. How do I explain the situation to my future employers, with any possible gap? Should I continue in this situation, and try to find another job?
Sorry for the long question.
Was the personal problem affecting your work? If not, can you explain a little how the legal situation in India works?
posted by devnull at 4:58 AM on May 2, 2013
posted by devnull at 4:58 AM on May 2, 2013
jassi, I remember your situation with your wife from a previous question, but you might want to sketch out the basic details about your marriage here because people are reading the word "wife" and thinking of a different situation than what you are in. (I understand that your question is not about your marriage but instead about your job, but from a Western perspective the wife contacting HR about a matter is completely unheard of and throwing us for a loop.)
posted by Houstonian at 5:03 AM on May 2, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by Houstonian at 5:03 AM on May 2, 2013 [5 favorites]
meaning they can give me the option of severance for this time I have to serve notice, so I can better use this time to search job , or think of something else.
Generally once an employee has given notice it is in the company's interest to sever relations as quickly as possible. They do not want you to spend your last three months copying business information or negatively influencing other employees (even if you would never do such a thing, some people do.)
I would talk to them and suggest that you stop coming into work, but that they pay you until the end of your severance period. If they fired you they would be on the hook for a longer period of severance so you did them a favor by resigning so you call-in that favor.
How do I explain the situation to my future employers, with any possible gap?
The same way I have always explain my leaving any job. "It was unhappy with the pay and compensation." Everyone understands that and no one can ever hold it against you that you quit over the desire to be paid more.
Act as if you are already unemployed and get a head start on it. Good luck.
posted by three blind mice at 5:05 AM on May 2, 2013
Generally once an employee has given notice it is in the company's interest to sever relations as quickly as possible. They do not want you to spend your last three months copying business information or negatively influencing other employees (even if you would never do such a thing, some people do.)
I would talk to them and suggest that you stop coming into work, but that they pay you until the end of your severance period. If they fired you they would be on the hook for a longer period of severance so you did them a favor by resigning so you call-in that favor.
How do I explain the situation to my future employers, with any possible gap?
The same way I have always explain my leaving any job. "It was unhappy with the pay and compensation." Everyone understands that and no one can ever hold it against you that you quit over the desire to be paid more.
Act as if you are already unemployed and get a head start on it. Good luck.
posted by three blind mice at 5:05 AM on May 2, 2013
three blind mice's ""It was unhappy with the pay and compensation."" Is a good one.
Another useful standby is "I'd reached a point where I was no longer learning no skills or dealing with new problems. The position had become very mechanical."
posted by colin_l at 5:23 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
Another useful standby is "I'd reached a point where I was no longer learning no skills or dealing with new problems. The position had become very mechanical."
posted by colin_l at 5:23 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Just a little background. The laws in India are very woman centric when it comes to dowry in India. Me and parents have been dealing with this since last June ' 2012. A girl within 6 yrs of her marriage can implicate a man and his immediate family of dowry harassment, if she is unhappy in a marriage. A man has or has not asked/ taken dowry, does not matter here. A girl will be taken for her word. In my case , we never did.
My wife filed a complaint with police of dowry harassment against me and parents , but finally after initial investigation, I was the one included in the complaint and parents name dropped from this. This situation then proceeded to the court for trial.
While this was going on , I had to travel for work, briefly around Nov 2012 to states. When I was gone, my wife complained to my company that I was absconding from police and legal proceedings. I had no idea she did this until now when my boss confronted me with this.
The HR did not let me on this all along
posted by jassi at 5:29 AM on May 2, 2013
My wife filed a complaint with police of dowry harassment against me and parents , but finally after initial investigation, I was the one included in the complaint and parents name dropped from this. This situation then proceeded to the court for trial.
While this was going on , I had to travel for work, briefly around Nov 2012 to states. When I was gone, my wife complained to my company that I was absconding from police and legal proceedings. I had no idea she did this until now when my boss confronted me with this.
The HR did not let me on this all along
posted by jassi at 5:29 AM on May 2, 2013
Part of my advice is to job search while currently holding a job. But the other part of my advice is that it's critical to feel strong, healthy and competent, and if you can afford to live without those 3 months pay (but who knows, you could get a 3 month severance and that's a conversation to definitely have with HR) I would resign and leave.
During those three months you can take a little unpressured step back and reflect upon what you really want to do, where you'd like to work and things that make you happy. If you feel like staying after you've resigned will make you miserable, then accept that and just get out (and I speak from my experience where I had a "resign because your contract isn't being renewed" situation with three months before my contract ended and I resigned and just left then because I knew that I couldn't cope with going back every day).
And unless there are cultural differences I don't understand, I can't imagine any new prospective employer would balk at "I was unhappy with the pay and compensation," or "I was ready for new challenges," and the three month gap is explained that you were job searching.
posted by kinetic at 5:48 AM on May 2, 2013
During those three months you can take a little unpressured step back and reflect upon what you really want to do, where you'd like to work and things that make you happy. If you feel like staying after you've resigned will make you miserable, then accept that and just get out (and I speak from my experience where I had a "resign because your contract isn't being renewed" situation with three months before my contract ended and I resigned and just left then because I knew that I couldn't cope with going back every day).
And unless there are cultural differences I don't understand, I can't imagine any new prospective employer would balk at "I was unhappy with the pay and compensation," or "I was ready for new challenges," and the three month gap is explained that you were job searching.
posted by kinetic at 5:48 AM on May 2, 2013
Why did the company decide to let you go before hearing your side of the story? Is it possible to talk to them, and try to save your job at your current company?
If you find a new job, what is to prevent your wife from contacting HR at the new company to get you fired? I know this question is not about your wife, but it does seem like resolving the situation with her is essential for you to be able to move on.
With that preamble, here is a direct answer to your question. In the US it would be best to look for a new job while you are still employed. You wouldn't need to provide an explanation of why you are leaving. Ideally your current employer would keep you as an employee but with reduced responsibilities, so that you could spend time on your job search while still employed. I can't say, though, how this might translate to India.
posted by alms at 6:09 AM on May 2, 2013
If you find a new job, what is to prevent your wife from contacting HR at the new company to get you fired? I know this question is not about your wife, but it does seem like resolving the situation with her is essential for you to be able to move on.
With that preamble, here is a direct answer to your question. In the US it would be best to look for a new job while you are still employed. You wouldn't need to provide an explanation of why you are leaving. Ideally your current employer would keep you as an employee but with reduced responsibilities, so that you could spend time on your job search while still employed. I can't say, though, how this might translate to India.
posted by alms at 6:09 AM on May 2, 2013
Response by poster: Well it all happened very fast, and in some corner of my mind, I was unhappy here and wanted to move on. Yes I do feel unjustified that I was not informed by HR earlier, and was at a disadvantage when my boss brought this up.
I think if I am given a severance of three months, then it would be alright in some way. Not sure...
posted by jassi at 6:29 AM on May 2, 2013
I think if I am given a severance of three months, then it would be alright in some way. Not sure...
posted by jassi at 6:29 AM on May 2, 2013
I was given the option to submit my resignation with three months notice period.
I'm not sure if that's typical in India but it's not typical in the U.S., and if my employer had given me that option, I would take it as a gift: they're giving you an opportunity to look for a new position during those three months, and not have a gap in employment.
posted by headnsouth at 8:14 AM on May 2, 2013 [4 favorites]
I'm not sure if that's typical in India but it's not typical in the U.S., and if my employer had given me that option, I would take it as a gift: they're giving you an opportunity to look for a new position during those three months, and not have a gap in employment.
posted by headnsouth at 8:14 AM on May 2, 2013 [4 favorites]
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My advice is that it's better to find work while already employed - and I would devote all my energies looking for another job while this one is paying you - they can't sack you twice. Do what ever you need to do, attend interviews, use the internet and the company phone to find that next job.
posted by Mario Speedwagon at 4:54 AM on May 2, 2013 [5 favorites]