Roomate goes bleep bloop

April 22, 2013 3:55 PM

My housemate makes loud dissonant synthesizer music. I need to wake up very early in the morning, an would love an afternoon nap. What should I do?

I just moved back into a house with three other roomates. While I was gone, someone new moved in and he's a musician. Today, when I came home from work and tried to take a nap, he was playing really loud music that went bleep bloop SKRONK! When I asked him if he could turn it down, he said "Yeah, I guess so", an turned down the volume and switched to playing extremely high pitched synthesizer tones.

So, this is an elementary human interaction question. How should I approach this? Is there any kind of compromise I can propose? Any suggestions of earplugs or other ways to block out a very broad range of high volume tones? (From occasional wall shaking bass to dog whistle screeches)

posted by ladypants to Human Relations (19 answers total)

Not sure what kind of device he's playing with but can he wear headphones?
posted by alligatorman at 3:59 PM on April 22, 2013 [9 favorites]

If you were living with an accordionist or a bagpiper, you might need to talk about compromise. But the nice thing about electronic music is that headphones are always an option. No compromise necessary. Just say "Hey, dude, I'm sleeping. Put on some headphones."
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 4:00 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I like the headphone idea. He seems to be playing out of at least two amps right now, so I don't know if headphones would work.
posted by ladypants at 4:02 PM on April 22, 2013

"Hey, I have to wake up really early every morning and rely heavily on being able to get in a solid nap every afternoon. Can you please use headphones when you're mixing in the afternoon so I can sleep? I'd really appreciate it."
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 4:04 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ask him if he can wear headphones a few times a week, tell him you'll owe him one. It would help if you could give him an exact time that you'd like to nap. Personally I hate wearing headphones, but would be willing if I knew it was for a short time.
posted by Dynex at 4:04 PM on April 22, 2013

Headphones will have to work, because this is unacceptable. He gets to use the space in his room, but he doesn't get to fill the whole house with his music just 'cause he likes it loud. Alternatively, if he likes to play loud he can find a practice space.
posted by mosk at 4:06 PM on April 22, 2013 [9 favorites]

Keep in mind, to this guy, YOU are the new guy. So you need to talk to him directly and openly about your schedule. Would you be willing to split the costs of decent headphones? I'd offer. Alternately and most expediently, if you have a set schedule, perhaps he can just agree to go take a walk or practice some Tai Chi in the back yard during your nap time. Give him a bottle of wine or yummy beer as thanks for his cooperation.
posted by amanda at 4:15 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

He needs to be using headphones. This is a pretty basic common courtesy situation.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 4:37 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

I am a keyboardist, and I live in an apartment. I like to play at night. When I do, headphones, always.


Tell dude he lives in a house with people and to get some headphones.

If for whatever reason he is unreasonable about this, you may want to investigate something that produces white noise in combination with earbuds or headphones of your own playing relaxing music. That is what I do when I need to sleep and husband needs to watch some obnoxious tv show.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:10 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

It makes a difference that he's making music in the afternoon, not late at night. It would be considerate of him to use headphones, but definitely frame it as a favor to you, not something you're entitled to. I don't think he'd be unreasonable not to use headphones, just as you're not unreasonable to ask him to do so.
posted by unreadyhero at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

Well first of all, I personally think that when you live in a shared space you shouldn't regularly be playing loud music. And if you're going to do it occasionally, it should be only during normal waking hours. I'd ask him to wear headphones from say 10pm-8pm, and then you wear earplugs when you want to nap during the day.
posted by radioamy at 5:24 PM on April 22, 2013

I am of the opinion that one should never not use headphones in shared spaces. (Are there no really no others out there like me?)
posted by SollosQ at 5:39 PM on April 22, 2013 [5 favorites]

Could you buy a hammock and nap on a balcony?

The thing to remember is that he is a musician, this is what he does. Professional musicians generally prefer to be noticed and get attention, both good and bad attention. The last thing they want is to be quiet and invisible. He is doing it during hours that most adults are awake. It would be decent of him to accommodate you but he doesn't have to, unless you have an illness that requires you to get extra rest. You are going to have to talk to him man to man about it, and get some suggestions from him on how to best achieve a solution. It also depends on what kind of musician he is. If he considers himself punk, then you are out of luck. Just be happy that he doesn't set your mattress on fire while you are trying to sleep on it.

Seriously, though, buy him a beer and talk to him man to man. Either it will work or it won't but with either outcome you will still know that you acted properly.
posted by myselfasme at 9:37 PM on April 22, 2013

If he considers himself punk, then you are out of luck. Just be happy that he doesn't set your mattress on fire while you are trying to sleep on it.


whoa there. I know people who consider themselves punk musicians, and they are very nice considerate folk. That's a foolish generalization.
posted by jacalata at 2:27 AM on April 23, 2013 [4 favorites]

nthing headphones.
posted by luckynerd at 9:18 AM on April 23, 2013

The thing to remember is that he is a musician, this is what he does. Professional musicians generally prefer to be noticed and get attention, both good and bad attention. The last thing they want is to be quiet and invisible.

I know plenty of professional musicians, and this is not true of any of them. Unless someone is playing an acoustic instrument and muting it would really hamper their playing - i.e., my aunt is a pianist and gets into a lot of arguments with her neighbors - they practice with headphones or at a low volume. Not with two amps.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 3:37 PM on April 23, 2013

Response by poster: Follow up: I asked him if as a personal favor he could keep it down as today is the day before my exam and/or use head phones. He said "it's different" with headphones, and that he has a show coming up in five days and this is what he needs to do. I asked if there was any way to use a practice space. He said he has one but no way of getting there. I offered him my car, but he refused. It was really tense. He pointed out the crumbling ceiling and said that in a place like this any reasonable adult would be well within their rights tone loud until 10 or 11pm, and that it was too early for "quiet time". I explained that I'm asking a favor, I'm not a cop laying down the law, and that I'd owe him big time. He looked unhappy, but after playing a record (loudly) left the house.

So now things are awkward, but for the time being its quiet. I think I should get him some nice beer as a thank you present.
posted by ladypants at 3:23 PM on May 15, 2013

Response by poster: Oh, never mind. He went back to playing records downstairs. In my room it was ranging between 55-95 decibels with an average of about 65. ( I know this makes me look petty, but I downloaded an app out of curiosity. i'm pretty sure the music he was playing before would have been well above the 110 db max) It's a nice day so I went outside to study until the sun sets.
posted by ladypants at 3:38 PM on May 15, 2013

Response by poster: And for the record, he does identify as punk. As do I. I think we have very different ideas about what it means to share a living space.
posted by ladypants at 3:42 PM on May 15, 2013