How to deal with an old acquaintance that continues to contact me?
April 8, 2013 1:30 PM Subscribe
An acquaintance who I have cut out of my life won't get the hint and continues to contact me.
As bored high school kids, this acquaintance and I would sometimes hang out after school. For whatever reason his personality annoyed me and we had a dynamic that I found to be draining. We went to the same college and did not hang out together, although he would continue to initiate IM conversations which I also found draining. So my end of the dynamic was to be curt with him, which I know was not nice, but I just did not want to put energy into this relationship. He did not get the hint and continued to contact me over IM and Facebook, and at some point I unfriended him on Facebook. He still occasionally reaches out to me via text and Facebook (I have not blocked him, so he can still send me messages and he has sent a friend request). I generally just ignore these messages.
I'm definitely not into friendship drama. The curt interactions and then ignoring him do not fit into the way I try to be in my interpersonal relationships, but that's where this particular relationship went. At this point I have not seen him or had a conversation with him in years - I know I have matured and changed a lot in that time, but I have no clue about him. I suppose I could just do him the courtesy of filling him in on how I've been, but really I just wish this ghost from friggin'-high-school-for-god's-sake! would just go away. I don't have to interact with him in my normal life, but it's possible that I would run into him when I visit my home town, since our siblings are good friends (though it hasn't happened yet).
So I have no interest in investing any energy into this relationship, but I also don't want to be unnecessarily cruel, and I definitely don't want to do anything to poison our siblings' friendship. I can block him on Facebook, continue to ignore him when he reaches out, and not think about him in the intervening months, but I feel like one day I might be in the same room as him and won't know what to do then.
As bored high school kids, this acquaintance and I would sometimes hang out after school. For whatever reason his personality annoyed me and we had a dynamic that I found to be draining. We went to the same college and did not hang out together, although he would continue to initiate IM conversations which I also found draining. So my end of the dynamic was to be curt with him, which I know was not nice, but I just did not want to put energy into this relationship. He did not get the hint and continued to contact me over IM and Facebook, and at some point I unfriended him on Facebook. He still occasionally reaches out to me via text and Facebook (I have not blocked him, so he can still send me messages and he has sent a friend request). I generally just ignore these messages.
I'm definitely not into friendship drama. The curt interactions and then ignoring him do not fit into the way I try to be in my interpersonal relationships, but that's where this particular relationship went. At this point I have not seen him or had a conversation with him in years - I know I have matured and changed a lot in that time, but I have no clue about him. I suppose I could just do him the courtesy of filling him in on how I've been, but really I just wish this ghost from friggin'-high-school-for-god's-sake! would just go away. I don't have to interact with him in my normal life, but it's possible that I would run into him when I visit my home town, since our siblings are good friends (though it hasn't happened yet).
So I have no interest in investing any energy into this relationship, but I also don't want to be unnecessarily cruel, and I definitely don't want to do anything to poison our siblings' friendship. I can block him on Facebook, continue to ignore him when he reaches out, and not think about him in the intervening months, but I feel like one day I might be in the same room as him and won't know what to do then.
Just send him an email back the next time he emails you (Don't do this pre-emptively)
Joe,
I know that you occassionaly reach out to me. I'm not interested in re-kindling our acquaintance. I wish you well in your future endeavors.
Anon
It's not mean, but it's very direct. As a grown-up, you must know how to deal with folks you'd rather not hang out with, chat with or message on Facebook with.
Once you've sent the email, block him completely.
At the end of the day, the condition of the world is not your responsibility. You don't HAVE to do stuff you don't want to do.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:36 PM on April 8, 2013 [8 favorites]
Joe,
I know that you occassionaly reach out to me. I'm not interested in re-kindling our acquaintance. I wish you well in your future endeavors.
Anon
It's not mean, but it's very direct. As a grown-up, you must know how to deal with folks you'd rather not hang out with, chat with or message on Facebook with.
Once you've sent the email, block him completely.
At the end of the day, the condition of the world is not your responsibility. You don't HAVE to do stuff you don't want to do.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:36 PM on April 8, 2013 [8 favorites]
Online: ignore his messages like you've been doing. It seems it doesn't bother you that much.
Offline: this seems like it would stress you out. It doesn't have to. If you see him in your home town, just say hello and say you've been busy. Make it as brief as possible. If you were at the market, just say you have to finish your shopping and leave afterward. You can not be cruel by acknowledging them if they see and try to initiate contact on the street or something, but you have the right to exit soon after.
posted by xtine at 1:37 PM on April 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
Offline: this seems like it would stress you out. It doesn't have to. If you see him in your home town, just say hello and say you've been busy. Make it as brief as possible. If you were at the market, just say you have to finish your shopping and leave afterward. You can not be cruel by acknowledging them if they see and try to initiate contact on the street or something, but you have the right to exit soon after.
posted by xtine at 1:37 PM on April 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
Ehhhh, I don't know if I agree with the folks saying to be direct. I mean, I get it, we're grown-ups, that's probably the best way to play things, but, like, it feels like this is different.
I have a few people like this I know. People who are perfectly fine people, probably, just for whatever reason I'm not a big fan of them, and interacting with them is, you said it, draining. I get it. I know where you're coming from.
After a few years of muddling through/being annoyed by facebook messages and emails and stuff, I think I've finally worked out a system that solves my problem in a way that I can deal with.
1) Keep all interactions on facebook (friend them on facebook). Set up a filter to toss their emails somewhere where you don't see them, block them on IM. I lucked out in that my phone number changed and I just managed to not update any of the people who annoy me, so that solved that part. But do not respond on phone either.
2) Do not facebook message. Keep all interactions public.
3) Set your privacy settings to exclude them to all but some bare minimum info you're ok with sharing.
4) Every once in a while (I'm talking like every 3-4 months, tops) "like" a photo they post. Ideally this photo will be of a dog or a landscape or perhaps a flower (something neutral). On their birthday, write "happy birthday!" on their wall along with 70 other people. If they post on your wall, wait at least a week, then post something like, "hey, just saw this! what's up!" and then don't respond to anything else they say.
That's it. That works for me (it's minimal enough that I don't feel like I'm doing anything, I don't have to go out of my way to craft a response, everything is bland and boring, etc), but this has completely solved things on the other end of the equation for about 4 different people. They seem to be satisfied that I'm paying attention to them, and so they otherwise leave me alone.
posted by phunniemee at 1:55 PM on April 8, 2013 [45 favorites]
I have a few people like this I know. People who are perfectly fine people, probably, just for whatever reason I'm not a big fan of them, and interacting with them is, you said it, draining. I get it. I know where you're coming from.
After a few years of muddling through/being annoyed by facebook messages and emails and stuff, I think I've finally worked out a system that solves my problem in a way that I can deal with.
1) Keep all interactions on facebook (friend them on facebook). Set up a filter to toss their emails somewhere where you don't see them, block them on IM. I lucked out in that my phone number changed and I just managed to not update any of the people who annoy me, so that solved that part. But do not respond on phone either.
2) Do not facebook message. Keep all interactions public.
3) Set your privacy settings to exclude them to all but some bare minimum info you're ok with sharing.
4) Every once in a while (I'm talking like every 3-4 months, tops) "like" a photo they post. Ideally this photo will be of a dog or a landscape or perhaps a flower (something neutral). On their birthday, write "happy birthday!" on their wall along with 70 other people. If they post on your wall, wait at least a week, then post something like, "hey, just saw this! what's up!" and then don't respond to anything else they say.
That's it. That works for me (it's minimal enough that I don't feel like I'm doing anything, I don't have to go out of my way to craft a response, everything is bland and boring, etc), but this has completely solved things on the other end of the equation for about 4 different people. They seem to be satisfied that I'm paying attention to them, and so they otherwise leave me alone.
posted by phunniemee at 1:55 PM on April 8, 2013 [45 favorites]
Not quite understanding the reason to define this a "relationship," because it's not a relationship.
It's one individual who, for whatever reason, is periodically reaching out. From your description, it doesn't seem very dramatic, more of the "Hey.. .what's going on?" vein. Like you have been, respond if you feel like it, don't if you don't want to.
It seems, however, you are assigning much more importance to your interactions with him than is warranted, and because of this it's causing you unnecessary stress. I have been in situations like yours and for whatever reason, my ego told me that if I didn't react friendly to this person that I just disliked for no-good-reason that my entire social structure would either collapse or he would commit suicide. The fact is, that I'm just not that important. More disturbingly to me was the fact that I sometimes dislike people.... for no good reason. I'm not mean to them, but I just don't like 'em. Truth is, everyone does. This guy that's texting you probably has people around him he dislikes for no good reason.
If you're ever in the same room with him, I doubt it will just be you and him, and you can treat it the same way as running into coworker you're not especially friendly with at the supermarket.
posted by Debaser626 at 1:57 PM on April 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
It's one individual who, for whatever reason, is periodically reaching out. From your description, it doesn't seem very dramatic, more of the "Hey.. .what's going on?" vein. Like you have been, respond if you feel like it, don't if you don't want to.
It seems, however, you are assigning much more importance to your interactions with him than is warranted, and because of this it's causing you unnecessary stress. I have been in situations like yours and for whatever reason, my ego told me that if I didn't react friendly to this person that I just disliked for no-good-reason that my entire social structure would either collapse or he would commit suicide. The fact is, that I'm just not that important. More disturbingly to me was the fact that I sometimes dislike people.... for no good reason. I'm not mean to them, but I just don't like 'em. Truth is, everyone does. This guy that's texting you probably has people around him he dislikes for no good reason.
If you're ever in the same room with him, I doubt it will just be you and him, and you can treat it the same way as running into coworker you're not especially friendly with at the supermarket.
posted by Debaser626 at 1:57 PM on April 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
So my end of the dynamic was to be curt with him, which I know was not nice, but I just did not want to put energy into this relationship.
What? you don't have to justify not being nice. You were giving him the hint, pretty strongly there, and he was acting all willfully ignorant about it. Fuck that. You don't owe anyone any kind of courtesy who is a boundary crasher and refuses to take hints.
The curt interactions and then ignoring him do not fit into the way I try to be in my interpersonal relationships
And they don't need to, because you're not trying to have an interpersonal relationship with this person. Once again, you do not have to be nice to people who you don't want to interact with.
Follow a script like ruthless bunny's, and make a point of saying that you don't want to contact him. then it's a lot easier to frame this as him not respecting your wishes and being a boundary crasher when you've directly instructed him to leave you alone, and he won't.
posted by emptythought at 1:59 PM on April 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
What? you don't have to justify not being nice. You were giving him the hint, pretty strongly there, and he was acting all willfully ignorant about it. Fuck that. You don't owe anyone any kind of courtesy who is a boundary crasher and refuses to take hints.
The curt interactions and then ignoring him do not fit into the way I try to be in my interpersonal relationships
And they don't need to, because you're not trying to have an interpersonal relationship with this person. Once again, you do not have to be nice to people who you don't want to interact with.
Follow a script like ruthless bunny's, and make a point of saying that you don't want to contact him. then it's a lot easier to frame this as him not respecting your wishes and being a boundary crasher when you've directly instructed him to leave you alone, and he won't.
posted by emptythought at 1:59 PM on April 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
It sounds like you haven't been clear at all with this person, from the beginning when they served a purpose (alleviating your boredom) to now when you've matured and changed so much you can't be bothered with the occasional facebook-level chat.
Here's a possible interpretation of your story from their point of view:
High school ghosts make up a significant portion of facebook. There's no rule that says you have to be friends with any of them, including this person, but it's unfair to resent people for not knowing what you want from them if you're not clear about what you want.
posted by headnsouth at 1:59 PM on April 8, 2013 [18 favorites]
Here's a possible interpretation of your story from their point of view:
As high school kids, my friend and I used to hang out after school. We went to the same college and although we did not hang out together, we often had long IM conversations. My friend can be moody and curt but I don't mind, I'm pretty patient.
We still keep in touch via facebook & text (somehow we got unfriended by facebook gremlins) and he's busier than I am but we still chat from time to time. I like to let him know I'm thinking of him even when he doesn't have time to reply.
One of these days we'll have to get together when we're both in our home town--our siblings are good friends. No biggie either way, at this point we're just ghosts from high school and it's nice to say hello once in a while.
High school ghosts make up a significant portion of facebook. There's no rule that says you have to be friends with any of them, including this person, but it's unfair to resent people for not knowing what you want from them if you're not clear about what you want.
posted by headnsouth at 1:59 PM on April 8, 2013 [18 favorites]
It is possible to reply in a way that disengages. That is generally more effective than ignoring. Simply not replying can be interpretted as "maybe the message never got through for some technical reason."
When you get a message, do not reply immediately. Give it some time. During that time, think about what you want to convey. After a day or week or whatever, briefly write back and mention how busy you are. Try to convey that you are busy in a way which is extremely boring, not drama-y, not emotional bait for someone who collects kicked puppies, not interesting. Daily grind busy. You are always daily grind busy. There is never an end to how daily grind, boringly, unemotionally busy you are. You regret not really having time for old acquaintances.
If you do it right, they may not go away completely but you should hear from them less and there should be less of that emotionally draining hook character to it.
posted by Michele in California at 2:01 PM on April 8, 2013
When you get a message, do not reply immediately. Give it some time. During that time, think about what you want to convey. After a day or week or whatever, briefly write back and mention how busy you are. Try to convey that you are busy in a way which is extremely boring, not drama-y, not emotional bait for someone who collects kicked puppies, not interesting. Daily grind busy. You are always daily grind busy. There is never an end to how daily grind, boringly, unemotionally busy you are. You regret not really having time for old acquaintances.
If you do it right, they may not go away completely but you should hear from them less and there should be less of that emotionally draining hook character to it.
posted by Michele in California at 2:01 PM on April 8, 2013
Be kind if you are direct. It's worth it not to make the world more dickish. I recently committed a Kook Purge to extirpate a number of awful people from my life but mostly did it using silence.
posted by steinsaltz at 2:02 PM on April 8, 2013
posted by steinsaltz at 2:02 PM on April 8, 2013
To this day I still have people I casually dated, old HS acquaintances, or old coworkers contact me via email or facebook, probably three to five times a year. I can think of a myriad of reasons why they would be doing this - they don't know I'm married, they are legitimately curious what I'm up to, etc. These are all people that for one reason or another I am no longer in contact with by my own choice. Regardless of where they came from, I handle these messages all the same way.
Delete and forget.
I think one of the biggest lessons you can learn as an adult is that you are in charge of your social interactions. If I don't want to talk to someone, I don't. It's that simple. You don't owe this person a response - don't even open the message, just delete. If you want to be more direct, go for it. Personally, the minute amount of energy it takes to recognize, select, and delete is negligible. I don't have to think about crafting a response, I don't have to worry about them potentially going full-drama on facebook, I don't have to worry about offending them and seeing them in real life at some point.
You don't say how often "occasionally" is, but if it is less than once a month, I'd just ignore it.
posted by _DB_ at 2:07 PM on April 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
Delete and forget.
I think one of the biggest lessons you can learn as an adult is that you are in charge of your social interactions. If I don't want to talk to someone, I don't. It's that simple. You don't owe this person a response - don't even open the message, just delete. If you want to be more direct, go for it. Personally, the minute amount of energy it takes to recognize, select, and delete is negligible. I don't have to think about crafting a response, I don't have to worry about them potentially going full-drama on facebook, I don't have to worry about offending them and seeing them in real life at some point.
You don't say how often "occasionally" is, but if it is less than once a month, I'd just ignore it.
posted by _DB_ at 2:07 PM on April 8, 2013 [3 favorites]
I don't think you really need to do anything in this situation but carry on as you have been. You are under no obligation to interact with this person, and if he doesn't get that, tough beans. I agree with xtine that even if you see him around town, you can just say a brief hello and be done with it. Plus, just a thought: maybe if he contacts you all the time, he also contacts others all the time. So perhaps he is just used to getting mixed responses from people and so this is one reason he might not be deterred by your non-response, and a reason you shouldn't worry about acting that way.
posted by thesnowyslaps at 2:09 PM on April 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by thesnowyslaps at 2:09 PM on April 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Eh... if he hasn't mistreated you in any way, I'd say it's kinder to just keep ignoring him. You have every right to tell him to go away if you want to, but that just seems needlessly harsh to me. The occasional text or FB message (that you're just going to ignore anyway) shouldn't be that big a disruption in your life.
And if you do run into him IRL, you just do what everyone else does in these situations - be polite but distant. No big deal.
posted by Broseph at 2:29 PM on April 8, 2013 [6 favorites]
And if you do run into him IRL, you just do what everyone else does in these situations - be polite but distant. No big deal.
posted by Broseph at 2:29 PM on April 8, 2013 [6 favorites]
Block him on FB, and block his number so he can't call or text. Either you really haven't been clear enough yet, or he's foolish enough to not understand that the two of you don't have a friendship and never did. Blocking him will start to settle that for good.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 3:14 PM on April 8, 2013
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 3:14 PM on April 8, 2013
If you haven't already, then next time he contacts you, tell him straight out "Please do not contact me again."
Then? Never again, no matter how many times he sends you a message, DO NOT RESPOND. Never: not even once. It's called an 'extinction burst': if you reply on his 5th or 50th message, then all you've taught him is that that's how many times it'll take from him to get a response from you.
posted by easily confused at 3:30 PM on April 8, 2013
Then? Never again, no matter how many times he sends you a message, DO NOT RESPOND. Never: not even once. It's called an 'extinction burst': if you reply on his 5th or 50th message, then all you've taught him is that that's how many times it'll take from him to get a response from you.
posted by easily confused at 3:30 PM on April 8, 2013
If this person had done anything to you, it would be fine to "be honest" about wanting them to go away, but the reason you want no contact is you just don't like him.
So don't reply to him ever again. The end.
That means no awkwardness if you run into him! Your mutual friends can run the conversation, and you can smile and nod and hang back!
Or, you can reply minimally three or four times a year. The end.
I actually don't agree that an adult who hasn't transgressed against you should have to hear that you want nothing to do with him. It's brutal to tell a person that you reject them to the point of wanting nothing to do with them and never to hear from them again. You have every right to *do* it, but as for actually saying it? That's the kind of brutal honesty that's more brutal than honest. If you did this, I'm sure he'd cope with the insult, but it's not fair to demand that much "maturity" of him if you can't find enough maturity in yourself to just ignore him.
Besides, you might change your mind at some time in the future, so don't say stuff you can't take back.
posted by tel3path at 3:35 PM on April 8, 2013 [22 favorites]
So don't reply to him ever again. The end.
That means no awkwardness if you run into him! Your mutual friends can run the conversation, and you can smile and nod and hang back!
Or, you can reply minimally three or four times a year. The end.
I actually don't agree that an adult who hasn't transgressed against you should have to hear that you want nothing to do with him. It's brutal to tell a person that you reject them to the point of wanting nothing to do with them and never to hear from them again. You have every right to *do* it, but as for actually saying it? That's the kind of brutal honesty that's more brutal than honest. If you did this, I'm sure he'd cope with the insult, but it's not fair to demand that much "maturity" of him if you can't find enough maturity in yourself to just ignore him.
Besides, you might change your mind at some time in the future, so don't say stuff you can't take back.
posted by tel3path at 3:35 PM on April 8, 2013 [22 favorites]
Midwestern guess-culture person here, so take with a grain of salt, but...DON'T BE MEAN.
"Please do not contact me again" and "I am not interested in rekindling our acquaintance" is mean, mean, mean, and totally disproportionate. And your siblings are good friends?? Awwk-ward. Just follow the phunimee script.
Or, on preview, what tel3path said.
posted by selfmedicating at 3:41 PM on April 8, 2013 [15 favorites]
"Please do not contact me again" and "I am not interested in rekindling our acquaintance" is mean, mean, mean, and totally disproportionate. And your siblings are good friends?? Awwk-ward. Just follow the phunimee script.
Or, on preview, what tel3path said.
posted by selfmedicating at 3:41 PM on April 8, 2013 [15 favorites]
I am guessing that you're from a smaller town or city and many of these responders are not. In a smaller town, being dickish to someone- even someone you don't like- can negatively impact you socially. I think that being polite but distant is the best way to go here- respond with a very basic "fine, thanks" to this person's "how-are-you", and do not engage any further than that. I think that deliberately telling this person never to contact you again is a bad political move if you live in a small town or if you have a secondary connection with this person (which you do via your sibling). They haven't actually hurt you in any way. So- if they contact you, eventually reply very distantly, do not accept any invitations but do not give an excuse, just say no thanks, and don't initiate any conversations.
TBH, phunniemee's technique is almost step-by-step exactly what I would, and do, do in the same situation.
posted by windykites at 3:59 PM on April 8, 2013
TBH, phunniemee's technique is almost step-by-step exactly what I would, and do, do in the same situation.
posted by windykites at 3:59 PM on April 8, 2013
Just block him.
I think that specifically saying 'please don't contact me again' is a nuclear option.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:29 PM on April 8, 2013
I think that specifically saying 'please don't contact me again' is a nuclear option.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:29 PM on April 8, 2013
Don't allow this to play on your feelings of being kind to people. The person has not respected your boundaries for a long time and is not being kind to you. Block them, delete them. If you have the energy, you can do what phunimee suggested, it will still take up time for you to manage, but if it makes you feel better carry on.
posted by i_wear_boots at 5:16 PM on April 8, 2013
posted by i_wear_boots at 5:16 PM on April 8, 2013
Wha? This isn't about "respecting boundaries." Boundaries are stated and clear, for one thing. Being curt to someone and hoping they take the hint is NOT a boundary. This other guy is not a cruel, abusive boundary-violator by periodically saying "hey, what's up? c ya." Geez.
Anyway, yeah, just don't respond promptly and be distant but friendly when you do respond. A friend of a friend is this person in my life, so once in a while I get to have party conversations like "was that you who texted me a joke about pirates at 4 am New Years Eve? ha ha, I didn't have your number in my contacts since I lost my old phone so I spent awhile wondering who that was. How have you been? ... Good-- Oh, excuse me, I'm supposed to help with the cake. Take care, man."
posted by salvia at 5:53 PM on April 8, 2013 [7 favorites]
Anyway, yeah, just don't respond promptly and be distant but friendly when you do respond. A friend of a friend is this person in my life, so once in a while I get to have party conversations like "was that you who texted me a joke about pirates at 4 am New Years Eve? ha ha, I didn't have your number in my contacts since I lost my old phone so I spent awhile wondering who that was. How have you been? ... Good-- Oh, excuse me, I'm supposed to help with the cake. Take care, man."
posted by salvia at 5:53 PM on April 8, 2013 [7 favorites]
Just block him and forget about it.
posted by empath at 7:46 PM on April 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by empath at 7:46 PM on April 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
I will offer one more tactic but consider it only as a possibility if none of the other answers fit the situation. This is for people who are semi-public or otherwise not in a position to just go Defcon 1 on anyone who occasionally gets in our way.
Step #1: "I don't know what to say. Is there something specific for us to discuss?"
Step #2: "All right then, I am pretty busy. I try to keep up with acquaintances, old friends I used to know, and people from my hometown via [annual Christmas cards/Facebook/smoke signals]. That's where I can best focus on people who I haven't seen in years."
(Obviously adjust those words to fit your manner of speaking...)
Step #3: Follow through and do it. What is an extra card, one more icon on a cluttered screen, or whatever?
[The above "script" would be nicer if this wasn't a case where he has already blown off a few hints. It is direct but still in the bounds of polite behavior.]
posted by 99percentfake at 8:36 PM on April 8, 2013
Step #1: "I don't know what to say. Is there something specific for us to discuss?"
Step #2: "All right then, I am pretty busy. I try to keep up with acquaintances, old friends I used to know, and people from my hometown via [annual Christmas cards/Facebook/smoke signals]. That's where I can best focus on people who I haven't seen in years."
(Obviously adjust those words to fit your manner of speaking...)
Step #3: Follow through and do it. What is an extra card, one more icon on a cluttered screen, or whatever?
[The above "script" would be nicer if this wasn't a case where he has already blown off a few hints. It is direct but still in the bounds of polite behavior.]
posted by 99percentfake at 8:36 PM on April 8, 2013
Just keep ignoring him. No need to send him any sort of email saying anything. Just set your brain on autopilot so that anytime you receive anything from him you immediately divert, file, delete, whatever.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 12:07 AM on April 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by hapax_legomenon at 12:07 AM on April 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by decathecting at 1:36 PM on April 8, 2013 [4 favorites]