Helping a family member of the 1st anniversary of their spouse's death
December 16, 2012 4:17 PM Subscribe
My mother and father were married over 50 years. Dad passed early this year (Feb) and now is the 1st anniversary is upon us. I have been helping mom out quite a bit since then, but could use some pointers about what to do or look out for over the next couple of months. A little more inside.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (6 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
They were the type of couple that did everything together and of the old-school married for life crowd. My father, while ill for the last year, he was not completely bed-ridden. However, he did need assistance. My mother filled that role completely. Suffice to say, when he passed, she not only lost her best friend, but much of the daily tasks she came used to performing each day. While she has managed as well as can be, I am noticing some periods of slipping into ruminating about my father and their time together.
So the question, (while I hope not too open ended) is this: what strategies, tips, actions etc can I do over the next few months to be there for her without smothering her. She certainly needs her time to continue to grieve and I do not want to take that away, but I just would like to have an eye towards healthy ways to help an 80 year old get on with life.
If it helps at all, I already moved in with her temporarily for the past few months and that has helped quite a bit. The plan is to stick around for another 6 months or so, but that is not set in stone. If anything, just having a person to make noise around the house seems comforting to her. I suppose I am just looking for tips from people who may have gone through this before and what worked for them.
throwaway email account - firstname.lastname@example.org