You lying asshole.
December 14, 2012 8:15 AM Subscribe
So I'm on a performance plan at work due to dishonesty. Please help me turn this around.
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (53 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
FWIW, I'm already in therapy. In my personal life I'm a very honest person and have close friends, loved ones and a fantastic partner who I live with.
In my professional life however, I've somehow entered a bad habit of telling white lies. The only thing I lie about is excuses either not to come to work or to cover me so that I can work from home.
I work a high-power, high-stress, high-type-A, high-anxiety job. My team is ok, and my boss I view as supportive but flakey. My boss is a big proponent of face-time, so I have to commute 50 miles to and from the office each day I'm expected to be there (yes, 100 miles each way) and it's just a lot. However, almost all of what I do can be done virtually, and we already work with folks in other offices across the country and other members of my team work from home freely - yet me and my three peers who report to my boss (we are middle managers, she is a Senior Director) are not able to do so. I've tried talking to her about this, I've proposed a standing "Work from home" day on a day where I don't have many meetings...it works for maybe a week and then it goes out the window with my boss and suddenly she's back to being corporate. I literally get up, go to work, come home, log back online. My personal hobbies are suffering, my social life has gone down the gutter, and I'm becoming a bitter and angry person to the detriment of my relationship with my boyfriend. It sucks.
Anyway, this is all weighing heavily on me and I've started calling in on random days and making up excuses to work from home. This has been happening for about 9 months now and I make excuse after excuse after lie - my car broke down, I got a flat tire, I have a doctor's appointment, I have to pick up my sister at the airport, the dryer broke. My boss has been questioning me about these excuses which lead to a more elaborate story to cover it up - oh, she's flying back from Denver, I have to have a root canal, I don't have AAA and don't know a tow truck to call....it goes on. And it's bad! I'm not a liar and this is killing me.
So. Everything blew up in my face recently. I lied to get out of a luncheon by saying that I had to bring my dog to an emergency vet visit. I texted my boss this about an hour before the luncheon. She managed to find out through a combination of my colleagues I'm sure that I don't have a dog. She confronted me face to face yesterday about it and at first I tried to stick to my story when she questioned me about the vet visit, but then she point blank told me that she knows I'm lying and is putting me on a performance plan.
However, she also said that my actual work is impeccable and amazing and I could be great if I dropped the bullshit. She also thinks that my team could benefit from more positive thinking and can "feel" leadership.
Obviously, I'm devastated and feel like I'm living in a pressure cooker. I told her that I want to turn this around because I love my job (I do) and I like my team (I do) and want to remain with this company (I do!) but we need to rebuild trust. I also told her that the commute is killing me and demanding a lot of energy as well as the logging in after hours and such. I was honest with her, it felt awful after deceiving her the entire time, but I told her that I want to fix this and be trustworthy and earn her trust and fix our relationship. It's true.
How do I turn this around? Quickly? :(