Can I expect a post-partum sex drought?

December 12, 2012 6:59 AM

Very specific question about sex after childbirth.

I've looked over some of the previous questions about post-partum sex, but I haven't seen my specific concern addressed: female ejaculation. I have learned, through patience and practice, how to have regular ejaculations with orgasm. Would this ability be damaged by the standard vaginal delivery? Seeing as how all kinds of things are stretching and possibly tearing in that vicinity, is it likely that there will be sufficient trauma to, shall we say, dry up the well? I assume that a c-section wouldn't interfere with this ability at all, as the whole area is bypassed.

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (10 answers total)

I don't know for sure and I've never given birth, but if the ejaculate fluid is coming from the Skene's gland and most vaginal tears occur on the other side, between the vagina and anus, I'm giving you a hesitant thumbs up. If that's where it is coming from....

I have a feeling you'll get a lot of 'anything could happen, bodies and deliveries vary wildly' answers. Don't write off the chance your powers could increase :D
posted by Trivia Newton John at 7:34 AM on December 12, 2012

I can't answer this question specifically, but don't be alarmed if things do dry up for a bit if you breastfeed, as the hormones definitely have that effect.
posted by snickerdoodle at 7:40 AM on December 12, 2012 [2 favorites]

Lots of mothers who had vaginal deliveries have no problem ejaculating.
posted by txmon at 8:17 AM on December 12, 2012

I don't know for sure, but it seems unlikely that your well will run dry. Things gave a way of bouncing back. But be advised it can months (heed snickerdoodle's words about hormones and breasfeeding). And you'd be surprised at how much change there is in your vaginal area with a c-section; there's no guarantee of anything despite bypassing your vagina.
posted by Specklet at 8:29 AM on December 12, 2012 [2 favorites]

YMMV: 6 weeks post partum ancedata says "No Problem" (Vaginal delivery with small preventative episiotomy)
posted by romakimmy at 9:11 AM on December 12, 2012

Really, a lot depends on how your delivery goes. You could be, as my mother says, "tore up from the floor up," or the kid could come sailing out with barely any trauma whatsoever. I had two vaginal deliveries with very little perineal damage at all, and sex is both different and the same. (Memail me if you want to know more details.) But yeah, don't assume that a C-section will guarantee anything; full term pregnancy can do a number on your pelvic floor muscles even without a vaginal delivery.
posted by KathrynT at 9:35 AM on December 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm currently nursing my 4.5 month old and things are considerably less moist that they used to be and that hasn't returned yet for me, but it might when I stop nursing, who knows? Sex is still fun, it just requires some lube now. Also, my baby was a c-section, so I'm inclined to believe its more of a hormones thing than a bulbous-baby-head-wrecked-my-vagina thing.
posted by julie_of_the_jungle at 9:37 AM on December 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

My um friend tells me she had two kids and can ejaculate spectacularly well, however this ability was noticed long after the kids had grown up. Both vaginal births, both with tears to the perineum.
posted by b33j at 1:46 PM on December 12, 2012

I wish you'd provided a throw away address, this is really one of those anon questions that need an anon answer option.

That said, *some women* find that having a baby (normal vaginal birth, small tear, no stitches) dramatically improves sex and especially g-spot sensations. Even though as mentioned, breast feeding and sleep deprivation mean not much going on in that dept.

I know it can have a negative effect for some women but I feel like there's some free-floating societal misogyny feeding the "birth = destroyed vagina" thing.
posted by crabintheocean at 2:31 PM on December 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Pre-birth, I could ejaculate occasionally, with much effort.

Post-birth, (smallish baby, moderate tearing) I wasn't at all interested in sex for a while, but found that when I resumed, I could ejaculate frequently, with significantly less effort.

YMMV, but I don't think that there's a hard-and-fast yes or no answer to this question.
posted by MeghanC at 4:03 PM on December 12, 2012