College senior still trying to figure out what I should work towards.
November 12, 2012 3:24 PM Subscribe
Still feeling like a failure, despite all the help I get - what am I missing?
posted by Seeking Direction to education (10 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I'm a senior (fourth year) in college, 21, and male. I've posted here before about my academic frustrations, and I don't mean to sound helpless, but I can't shake these feelings of failure.
So I'm in my last year, completing my bachelor's degree at a "well-reknowned" school - should be feeling excited, right? Hardly.
I've had several health problems (perhaps thyroid related - still working on getting in touch with the right doctors). I have a learning need (recently diagnosed), which is receiving attention just fine, actually.
Since I had absolutely NO clue what I wanted to study, I decided to take the "default" path others had encouraged me to do - pre-med and a biology major. Problem is, I HATE studying biology. Hate it, hate it, and did I forget - hate it!
I should clarify - I don't actually hate the subject matter, instead being more or less apathetic about it, but the "mindless zombie memorization" instead of a concept/application-based approach has really posed a problem to me. Granted, not every single class is like this, but many were.
I seem to have a personality clash with fellow "pre-meds" in my bio classes.
Oh yeah, and I've come close to serious injury in labs. Not for me!
My school doesn't have a true advising system, either - so again, NO guidance whatsoever!
(Note: I'm not going to name the school, since its fanboys/fangirls - of which there are plenty - are going to spew vitriol.)
Now, I'm actually quite interested in psychology and environmental studies. So, essentially, I'd like to switch fields, but HOW? My GPA still isn't too hot.
Yes, I'm seeing a therapist and meeting with people specializing in my learning need, but there's only so much they can do.
All I really know about myself is that my Myers-Briggs personality type is INTP. (If Myers-Briggs is to be believed at all, of course.) Of course, everything I read about this type points to "procrastination" and "absent-minded" tendencies, and there seem to be relatively few INTP's with notable achievements. (No offense to anyone.)
I'm supposed to be good at "intellectual" stuff - but "intellectualism" is a crock of baloney, in my opinion. What the h-e-double hockey sticks is it supposed to achieve, anyway?
So, in summary, rocky past academically, don't like my current concentration, only a loose idea (environmental studies, psychology) of what I want to do with myself.
Yes, I want to further my education - but if the pre-meds are going to be the same people as in medical schools (and co-workers if I become a doctor) - I don't want too much to do with them.
It feels like everyone else - even if they have the most humble job in the world - has a stronger sense of direction and just "knowing" what they want.
Where do I begin? I know I belong somewhere academically and career-wise?