Long term memory loss, not sure what to do and need help
October 27, 2012 5:36 PM Subscribe
For a while now, maybe several months or so (this only proves further how terrible my memory is) I have been experiencing long term memory loss. I have great trouble remembering my childhood, places I've been to, anything at all that i learned in school a year or two ago. I always forget what I say to people even a few weeks ago. They will talk about something I said or something I did and I won't remember. When I go to bed, the hours just before become unknown to me. When I try to remember what happened in the last hours of the night it is all foggy and fragmented. This is not something I normally experience, especially all the things I've done with family and friends, I can barely remember anything and it makes me very sad.
posted by johnx to Health & Fitness (29 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I have become extremely frustrated about this and contemplated suicide to escape my shitty brain (no, I'm not a suicidal person so no one need freakout, I don't plan on doing it or anything). I WANT TO REMEMBER! But I just fucking can't and it makes me want to punch a wall in. I can't remember fun times with my father or mother or my grandfather who passed away.
Could it be the alcohol? I am not an an alcoholic, I never really get very drunk, and I usually only drink 1 or twice a week maximum, normally once every two weeks or so. Could it be the small number of times I took valium or oxycodone, the 5 or 6 times I smoked pot? I don't know.
To make matters worse I can't exactly approach my doctor or a therapist (which I've only seen twice months ago but I stopped going) about this because then I'd have to admit to prescription drug abuse (stolen from my family) and also stealing alcohol from my family to drink alone in my room. I don't exactly think my drinking is a problem. I never feel like I need a drink or anything like that and I really don't drink huge amounts when I drink either.
I don't know what to do but I need help, I feel like my brain is melting away like melted cheese and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I can't go to anyone. I'm trapped in my own head. I thought I may be depressed but I have no fucking clue what that means, how am I supposed to know? Someone please help me I just want to remember it all.