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This hellish tech startup trafficking in souls needs a name
October 11, 2012 3:17 PM   Subscribe

Halloween Filter: Help me with a name and tagline(s) for my 'business' of getting people to sign over their soul to eternal damnation. Tech startup parodies most welcome.

On Halloween I'm playing the devil going around with a contract trying to get people to sign over their souls, with lots of business jargon in my 'pitch'. I'll also have business cards and similar advertising material.

But I'm totally at a loss for the name of my company.

It should be obvious that it's hell or souls oriented. I'm really tempted to go for a tech startup parody (faustr?). A billion favorites if anyone can give me a good variation on "Zynga" or "Activision", but definitely not limited to that.

Ideas?
posted by subject_verb_remainder to Writing & Language (28 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
"Faustr" is brilliant.
posted by griphus at 3:30 PM on October 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


"Hadesbook is a social utility that connects people with the other damned souls who are burning in the fiery pits of hell! You can see how your friends are being tormented, post unlimited photos and video of your own and others' suffering, and learn more about the minor demons you meet.

"Stay connected with other damned souls! Sign up here: it's not free and never will be."
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 3:32 PM on October 11, 2012 [11 favorites]


hellBnB
posted by milqman at 3:33 PM on October 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Pinterestinpeace
posted by sweetkid at 3:39 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


InstaDamn
posted by sweetkid at 3:40 PM on October 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Faustr is good but I've made note of many, many startups here in the bay area using names ending in -ly. I suppose it's just cute. And it's appropriate in this day and age of cute and playful startup peddling games and social networking stuff and apps and apps. Many of these -ly startups have similar website design and offer various services and apps I either don't need or understand. I vote for Faustly then.
posted by uhom at 3:40 PM on October 11, 2012


Soul Combinator. "I'm not claiming that every soul has to go to hell to be burned with eternal fire, just that all other things being equal, the more souls are concentrated in one place, the better the burning will go."

"The soul combinator is one of the coolest ideas in metaphysics."
posted by michaelh at 3:41 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


EAAAH

BurnIn

Roastify

9Circles
posted by benzenedream at 3:42 PM on October 11, 2012


"Faustr" is brilliant.

Along similar lines, Damnr
StyxLife
Charonland
Disist
posted by LionIndex at 3:44 PM on October 11, 2012


Damnazon.com

edit: you can offer the Damnazon Kindle, Damnazon Fire, Damnazon Prime...
posted by roger ackroyd at 3:45 PM on October 11, 2012 [11 favorites]


Faustr is great on paper, but if you actually speak the word out loud, people probably won't pick up on it, especially if it's Hallowe'en and loud and rowdy and people aren't exactly thinking about literature/opera/etc. I think something more obvious like damnazon (nice one!) would probably be easier for most people to "get" right away.

(Or maybe I'm a little slow, it took me a really, really long time to figure out what site you were doing a parody of because i never use Flickr).

Fiendbook
Lockedin
posted by windykites at 4:03 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


AOHell (old school)
posted by sweetkid at 4:05 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Pets.com

Just... because.
posted by Etrigan at 4:12 PM on October 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Professor Malebranche's Soul Emporium and Discount Tanning Salon.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:12 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Damnazon... I love that.
posted by bz at 4:13 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sign up now to join one of my nine Google+ Circles*!



*OF HELL
posted by argonauta at 4:24 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


This search string might help. Several of these BS generators are great.

As for the name many names for the devil are variations on light or brightness (referring to the pre-fall role). Is that too subtle?

"Here at MorningStar we strive to achieve scalable dominance in disintermediating current heuristics!"
posted by Wretch729 at 4:33 PM on October 11, 2012


Lucifr
posted by LionIndex at 4:36 PM on October 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Sorry to keep harping on this but — you should know that Damnazon.com's CEO is Jeff Beelzebub.
posted by roger ackroyd at 4:41 PM on October 11, 2012 [8 favorites]


www.soulbook.com
Gargoyle (in the Google font and color scheme)
posted by Little Orphan Ennui at 6:14 PM on October 11, 2012


Faustr is good but I've made note of many, many startups here in the bay area using names ending in -ly. I suppose it's just cute. And it's appropriate in this day and age of cute and playful startup peddling games and social networking stuff and apps and apps. Many of these -ly startups have similar website design and offer various services and apps I either don't need or understand. I vote for Faustly then.
Mephistoph.ly
posted by eruonna at 6:14 PM on October 11, 2012 [5 favorites]


I don't know if anyone can top damnazon. It's catchy, rolls right off the tongue, has name recognition, a great logo to modify, and I can use their lingo to talk about selling goods and services.

Still open to other ideas! Thanks so far for the help.
posted by subject_verb_remainder at 6:41 PM on October 11, 2012


You can probably work a pointy tail in place of the arrow/smile easily, as well.
posted by a halcyon day at 7:56 PM on October 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Souls R Us
posted by MexicanYenta at 8:37 PM on October 11, 2012


Helliburton would be good but unlike Faustr, Hadesbook and Damnazon, it doesn't come with a logo and font and I think those will really make this sing.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 12:28 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


You can probably work a pointy tail in place of the arrow/smile easily, as well.

Or a pitchfork.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:30 AM on October 12, 2012


In lieu of listing my real place of employment on my Facebook page, I've stated that I work for "Beelzebub Industries" as the Chief Furnace Stoker.
posted by BrianJ at 8:36 AM on October 12, 2012


If you don't mind existing companies, go with Soulseek.
posted by ersatz at 6:02 PM on October 12, 2012


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