At this rate, there will be sixteen by next week.
September 7, 2012 6:43 AM Subscribe
Cool or uncool: your spouse gets a second dog from a local shelter without asking or consulting you?
posted by fatllama to human relations (88 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
The answer is obvious to me, but my spouse is acting like this is no big deal. I'm confused and feel like I need my outrage calibrated. Mitigating facts:
-1.5 years ago, I was talked into getting one dog, who I now adore. But one is more than enough right now.
-I'm the sole breadwinner right now. I've schemed hard to trim our spending and boost our savings. An action like this feels like a financial slap in the face on top of the garden-variety disrespect.
-At every casual mention of a possible second one, I've indicated my absolute unwillingness.
-Spouse informed me of the new arrival a few hours before we were to pick up visiting house-guests for the weekend. I feel this was a power play to make me put on a happy face. Awkward.
-The second dog is the same (rare) breed as the first. Two days ago, my spouse forwarded me the dog's adoption page on the shelter's website. I was nonplussed but suggested if she was so excited to maybe go "visit" the dog. She believes that my suggestion obviously conveyed my approval.
-Yes, our communication skills are terrible. Yes, we've sought assistance with this.
-I wanted to sleep on it before putting my foot down, but I got no sleep last night. I am completely stressed out by the new arrival. Our first dog has already snapped at the new one several times. What's the threshold for owner/old dog incompatibility?
tldr; Spouse went and got another dog unilaterally. Am I being a reasonable partner to want to talk about the shelter's return policy? Is it right to entertain disturbing questions like, "what other craziness is my spouse going to do on a whim?" Precisely how angry would you be?