Please help me negotiate with this family that I am now a part of
August 6, 2012 5:06 PM Subscribe
So, my inlaws are visiting, I'm not sure how to iron the details out with my SO. We have very different ideas about how this should transpire. I am also having trouble dealing with the culture of their family I'm trying to be as short as possible. Thanks.
posted by ibakecake to Human Relations (41 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My in-laws are coming to visit us. The catch is that my mother in law asked if she can visit us and stay with us for two weeks and my SO agreed without consulting me. We live in a studio apt. I'm angry that they would impose by asking this and more angry that my husband agreed to it without asking me. My main aversion to them is that they are thrifty. When we stayed with them in one of their 3 empty bedrooms my SO paid rent. I don't understand this, they have a significant retirement income. When we lived in the same state we bought them dinner frequently and they never even offered to reciprocate.
I have failed at talking about either of these issues. I asked SO if they were getting hotel and a rental car and by the end he insisted that I was 'trying to drive a wedge between him and his family.' This doesn't make me feel good and I don't want to do this I just want to change the frame a bit, I feel like he is getting taken advantage of.
Please help me get a handle on the culture of this family. Should I just grin and bare it for 2 weeks?
Is this common with families that their children should pay for them?
How can I communicate my discomfort to my SO without offending him?
Since SO is the breadwinner does that take away my say?
We have been married 3 years, and this is an ongoing issue; so I feel like this is something we should be able to iron out or at least discuss.