Really great girl has an STI
July 28, 2012 9:27 AM Subscribe
The girl that I like has herpes. How do I move forward?
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (12 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Met an amazing woman and we've been having a fun time together. I can't know for sure if there's a future with her, but I know that I really like her a lot and I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time. I am very interested in having sex with her and dating, even if it's something that only ends up lasting for the short term.
She disclosed that she contracted hsv-1 genitally a year or so ago but that it's under control and possibly the only outbreak she'll ever have, etc. We did not have sex yet. I understand that in the grand scheme of things, this is basically Not a Big Deal at all from a physical/health/hygiene perspective seeing that herpes (at least hsv-1) is pretty much a moderate inconvenience at most. I also understand that something like 50-80% of the population has some form of it or another.
However I still do not want genital herpes. I really, really, really do not want to have to disclose it to possible future partners and face the resulting possible stigmatization that comes with it, which I truly believe is (sadly and unjustly) the more harmful effect of the virus.
So it's a pretty classic/cliche story when it comes to herpes - two people like each other, one discloses they have it, the other has to decide whether it's "worth the risk" or not. How do I come to a decision here and what is the most mature and responsible course of action? I know for a fact that I definitely do not want herpes, especially not genital herpes, and I would feel extremely stupid if I contracted it KNOWING that I was taking a risk. I would also feel equally stupid not pursuing anything further with this girl because I'm really into her and haven't been into someone in a longgg time.
So...what to do? Also can I just go to a doctor or a planned parenthood and ask to talk to someone about this? If anyone has shared this experience I would love to know.