tell me your favorite baby care books

May 29, 2012 6:17 PM

What are the best books on how to prepare for/take care of a new baby?

We're expecting in the fall and have no idea how to care for a baby, or what we need to do to prepare in the meantime. I'm guessing we need a car seat, but what else? Bassinet? Changing table? I think I heard that babies need to wear hats in the sun, but how many layers do they need to wear in the winter? I'd like to hear what baby books you found especially helpful. I'm especially looking for two-career-family-friendly suggestions that aren't centered around an attachment parenting ideology.

I saw this thread from 2005, but most of the suggestions were for pregnancy books, and I'd also like to hear if there's anything good that's been published since then.

posted by Ralston McTodd to Education (27 answers total)

Best answer: We both really liked Heading Home With Your Newborn. It breaks everything down very simply without assuming you are an idiot.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:19 PM on May 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

I don't have specific suggestions for books since I haven't had to read a baby book in 7-8 years, but I do want to suggest that whatever you end up looking for, get it from the library. I spent a fortune on baby books, and of course, after six months, then I needed six months + baby books, then toddler books, etc. After the initial blitz, I stuck to library books.
posted by looli at 6:26 PM on May 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

They get a lot of flak, but What To Expect When You're Expecting, and What To Expect the First Year are chock full of great info. (Ignore anything that drives you crazy, like perhaps the super-rigid dietary ideas for a pregnant woman.) Dr. Sears's The Baby Book is also great.
posted by BlahLaLa at 6:30 PM on May 29, 2012

Meant to add -- the Dr. Sears book is full of good info on a variety of topics. You can ignore the attachment parenting stuff if you're not into it. Basically that's my opinion on most baby books -- there are so many, many different schools of thought when it comes to most everything, so take what seems appropriate or right for your family and ignore the rest.
posted by BlahLaLa at 6:31 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

The Happiest Baby On The Block is best consumed in DVD form - despite it being extremely valuable information there's only 20 minutes of it.
posted by mhoye at 6:37 PM on May 29, 2012 [8 favorites]

Dr. Sears is very much into attachment parenting, so I'd avoid his books if you know you're not into that.
posted by alms at 6:42 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm reading Heading Home now and enjoying it very much - it's a nice mix of practical advice and gentle "just do the best you can" discussion. In terms of your other questions on preparations/gear, I've also found Lucie's List very helpful.
posted by judith at 6:42 PM on May 29, 2012

I was in a two-career family when my daughter was born (went back to work at 7 weeks with great relief), and I found Dr. Sears's book invaluable. I did some attachment parenting things (cosleeping, some babywearing, breastfeeding), but I was not some domestic goddess of attachment parenting. I found his approach very practical - do what works for you and your baby, not what every baby guru says you should do. I also had What to Expect... and it was helpful in it's way as well.

BUT - here's the thing:

The baby is a human, and you already know how to take care of humans. You'll figure out how many layers to put on the baby when it is cold outside. You'll make small mistakes - overbundling and baby gets sweaty (in which case you'll remove some layers) or underbundling and baby gets cold (in which case you'll add layers/wrap in blankets/snuggle baby).

So read all the books (lord knows I did), but also know that you don't really need them. You'll be fine.
posted by jeoc at 7:02 PM on May 29, 2012 [6 favorites]

Dr. Spock is the classic. (I am not a parent.)
posted by elizeh at 7:06 PM on May 29, 2012

Three pieces of furniture are all you really need for a new baby: 1) somewhere for the baby to sleep (Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper worked well for us in place of a bassinet, and I highly recommend it); 2) somewhere to change the baby (dresser/changing table/combo); 3) somewhere to sit with and feed the baby (this is where you get the chair in the nursery idea, but there are a lot of options). The rest can follow later, and the same is true of many other items. It's overwhelming to think of what you might need, so remember you can always buy stuff after the baby is born if you think you'll use it (slings, bouncy chairs/swings, etc). If you'd like specific ideas on clothing, blankets, etc, just MeMail me as I'm happy to suggest items we liked, but it's good to remember that not everything works for every baby- they have their own tastes too.

I also recommend Happiest Baby on the Block and Dr. Sears for reading, and if you're into that kind of thing, new mom memoirs can be good to mix in there to remind you to be excited and have a sense of humor.

Congrats!
posted by questionsandanchors at 7:13 PM on May 29, 2012

Best answer: I found Baby 411 to be useful for this. Pretty straightforward, lots of info on health and safety.
posted by motherly corn at 7:35 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

" how many layers do they need to wear in the winter?"

One more than you.

("Heading Home" is great.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:02 PM on May 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

Penelope Leach - Your Baby and Child. At least I liked the edition that was out a decade or so ago; don't know if it's changed any since then.
posted by lakeroon at 8:21 PM on May 29, 2012

Seconding Baby 411 - but could be partial - it's author is our pediatrician.
posted by nightwood at 8:23 PM on May 29, 2012

I bought a bunch of books but gave them away to other parents within two months. Honestly, the internet was faster and more comprehensive. There are youtube videos on infant care done by hospitals, webMD and other parenting sites have nurses and doctors who will answer almost everything, and Google meant at 3am I could type in "baby heartrates normal range" and be reassured.

I had preemie-specific books, but those were more about specific medical questions like heart surgery. All the regular baby stuff has been easier to find and read online.
posted by viggorlijah at 8:48 PM on May 29, 2012

I can recommend two books by Penny Simkin, with whom I took birthing classes when I was pregnant with my first. Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn felt to me like it was written for an educated audience who enjoys data and reading good explanations behind the theories. The Birth Partner is a great book for both the biological information, as well as the emotional stresses that are unique to being the partner to the person giving birth.
posted by weeyin at 10:09 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Seconding youtube! We watched videos on every subject - diapering, bathong, etc. No costly books, no extra clutter... and protip, if ever you need advice on something in the first 6mos or so after the baby is born, you will not have the time or energy to read. Video is the way to go!

That all said, Happiest Baby on the Block was a lifesaver, watch it before the baby is born.
posted by vignettist at 10:50 PM on May 29, 2012

I really enjoyed Brain Rules For Baby. It is kind of big deal that we nurture our now 10 month old's brain. Bonus points for tackling the first five years, so it doesn't become irrelevant after a few months. We also got a lot of useful info from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Sleep is a serious issue, how well your new baby sleeps directly affects how well you as parents sleep. Sleep deprivation has been the worst/hardest part of life with a baby so far.

As far as furniture, a changing table is nice. It saves your back and it helps create a good routine with baby. The baby knows it's diaper changing time and is more patient than say he would be when being changed on the bed or couch. We bought a cute poster and hung it up above his changing table. It gives him something to look at and distracts him while we change him.

A swing, I was not for this at all, but it really saved us during the early months. Maybe you could find one used, because they outlive their usefulness quickly.

I bought this one activity table, that we both agree is worth it's weight in gold. It isn't much use until about 4 to 5 months, but after that, it's amazing.
posted by citizngkar at 2:23 AM on May 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

I found most of the "new dad" books to be insultingly bad, but I liked Be Prepared and found myself using many of its tips.
posted by Jorus at 2:27 AM on May 30, 2012

+1 Leach, Sears, using the library, the notion that you already know how to care for a human.

"What to Expect" has a lot of research-free nonsense mixed in with the actual information. (So does "Healthy Sleep Habits.") I'm sure others do too. Feel free to ignore lots of what you read no matter how authoritative the tone.

I got more useful, usable information from Dr Jack Newman's book (which has a different title in the US and Canada, not sure what it goes by in the UK, but there's just the one; any edition will do, I expect) than any other text. I remember being all excited by his approach while pregnant and summarizing it as 'This guy is all, 'My guidelines are -- no guidelines'!' It is a breastfeeding book, yes, but it covers quite a lot of other infant ground.

Car seat...sling/carrier...diapers...clothing...safe sleeping area, and with pretty much everything else, shop around, and then three weeks in when you discover that the idea of not buying a monitor was a bad idea for a three-storey home or whatever, you'll know you want the Babeelissen 3000 which retails for $59 at the baby store in the mall and can make a quick trip and snatch it up easily instead of trying to comparison-shop with your postpartum fatigue. Keep firmly in mind that stores don't close after the baby comes and buy as little as possible, which will minimise the Craigslisting of "Used for two weeks" baby fripperies. I personally would never have used a changing table; everybody is a little different with these things.

Winter depends on your going-out strategies/styles -- I ended up with a beautiful down bunting that was barely worn but a wool baby balaclava that saw lots of use; it was easiest to buy a parka with a bit of extra room, keep the baby in warm normal clothes, and pop her into a sling and zip my own coat over most of her, head peeking out. (You can now buy coats made for this, a bit stupid unless you are planning multiple closely spaced pregnancies and those jackets are actually warm enough for winters where you are...)

Suggestion: do not get an "infant seat" for the car. They can go straight into convertible seats. Look around at malls &c; lots of people have gone with the idea that toting one's infant about in a hard plastic casing is normal, but these parents are awkwardly struggling with carrying this plastic, and when you see a baby fussing, the baby will, invariably, be in his "case." The content babies are on parents' bodies, not in car seats. And then in less than a year the expensive-ish infant seat is nearly landfill (the market for 2nd-hand car seats is minimal, safety concerns being what they are); a convertible will stay in your car for years.
posted by kmennie at 4:54 AM on May 30, 2012

I want to +1 the recommendation for Baby 411 -- if you were to only get one book, that would be a good one. It covers just about every area in which you might have questions, and does a good job of weighing the evidence in areas where there is a lot of debate and frenzy, helping you sort out the options for yourself. It's good from newborn to 1 year, so covers how to introduce first foods, etc.

Our other favorite book was a slim little thing put out by Johnson & Johnson (I think we got ours with a kit of medical supplies we never used, heh, but you can find them around) that covered the first six months, and was particularly helpful with that stretch from about 3-6 months when you have long stretches of the baby just looking at you for entertainment. That is, it suggested the sorts of simple toys and games that were developmentally appropriate at each stage (by month, I think), what a kid would be attuned to and/or working on at that age, etc. Gave us lots of great ideas.

You didn't say where you're from, but one thing to consider is that if you live in a city (that is, a pedestrian setting), then a good stroller is even more valuable than a car seat, and it's where I'd sink my money -- we've used ours for 4 years for kid, groceries, storage of sun supplies and wipes, and even to roll our thriftl donations down the street (without kid, in that case). But more suburban parents may find it's hardly worth having one other than for travel.

Good luck, and hang in there! Those first three months will seem like a year, but then you learn to function again.
posted by acm at 7:54 AM on May 30, 2012

Add another vote to Baby 411. We got it as a gift from friends who loved it. I loved it so much I bought a copy for friends who had a baby 3 months after ours.
posted by Silvertree at 8:02 AM on May 30, 2012

I don't have book advice, because most of the advice I've gotten over the past year (we have an 11 month old) is from http://www.babycenter.com/. It's the best site I've found for help. You can sign up and they'll send you weekly info about what's going on, both for your pregnancy, and after the baby is born.
posted by Tooty McTootsalot at 8:57 AM on May 30, 2012

Big +1 for the Birth Partner for preparing you and your partner for labor & delivery. It was by far the best prep book I looked at and my wife preferred it to the mom-focused books she had.

I also found Baby 411 useful, but not indispensable. Other than that, we kinda winged it. Oh, my wife did use babycenter.com a fair amount for factoids and quick answers to questions that didn't rise to the level of a call to the midwife/pediatrician.
posted by that's candlepin at 10:13 AM on May 30, 2012

On the "stuff" side of things -- what do you need, what don't you need -- I liked Baby Bargains.
posted by freezer cake at 2:23 PM on May 30, 2012

Response by poster: Thanks for all the recommendations, everyone! I think I'm going to start with Heading Home With Your Newborn and Baby 411 and take it from there.
posted by Ralston McTodd at 4:53 AM on May 31, 2012

There is much conflicting advice on the intertubes and in baby owner manuals. I went with one book for pregnancy [1] and one book for baby development [2] on the theory that as lots of parents succeed in raising healthy kids with no research what-so-ever there is no need to fill my head with doubt from all the different possible ways to do things.

[1] I do not recommend What to Expect When You Are Expecting. I found it to be to full of personal anecdotes and references to things as if they are facts when in reality they are just opinion. The writing style really got on my nerves. That said, I don't have another recommendation.

[2] Caring for Your Baby and young child: from Birth to age 5 by the American Academy of Pediatrics. It's factual and clear.
posted by fief at 9:39 PM on June 5, 2012