My name, please make a note of it.
May 18, 2012 12:14 PM Subscribe
I am female. I have a unisex name. My male partners have always had unmistakably male names. Why, then, have new acquaintances continually called my male partners by my name?!
posted by thrasher to human relations (34 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
It just happened again and it's driving me crazy. My name is Toni, my partner's name is Jake (those aren't our names but it serves the purpose.) I get a call today from a new acquaintance who says, "What you and Toni are doing is great..." I point out that I'm Toni. Acquaintance says "oh! You're Toni! Oh, okay!" (though he was probably thinking "Tony.") This even after leaving a message saying he was calling for Toni or Jake... so did he think *I* was Jake?! We've met in person, he's received emails signed with our names, I look and sound female, Jake looks and sounds male, I KNOW this acquaintance knew better (as they all have.)
This is obviously a brain short circuit on the part of my acquaintances; it's happened to me in every one of my relationships with men whose names are clearly male.
Why does this happen? How do I reduce the frequency with which it happens? How can I make his name/my name stick in these people's heads?? (Caveat: I don't necessarily want to give out or be known by my given name of Antonia... which is also not my actual given name, but again, it serves the purpose.)
Toni. The female one!