Question for the "guess culture" people: If a friend wants to leave a gift I gave her behind at my house for a year, is that likely to be her way of saying she doesn't really want it? Does that mean I can treat the gift as mine?
I got a free brand new jacket by a very expensive brand. It's a very nice jacket and I would have happily kept it, but my friend is a HUGE fan of that brand. Just about everything she buys is that brand. She drools over their website regularly. She had specifically said she liked that jacket on the website. She was visiting this week from Europe (to Australia) and I gave her the jacket as a gift. She knows it was free to me, and was surprised I didn't want to keep it for myself. I told her it wasn't a colour I wear (kind of true, although it's a nice enough jacket that I would happily wear it even though I wouldn't have chosen that colour for myself). I'm pretty sure she believed me that I really didn't want to keep it, so I don't think her leaving it behind is about her trying to give it back to me because she thinks I regret giving it to her or anything.
She seemed to be thrilled, and she wore it just about every day while she was here. But when she was packing up to leave she said she couldn't fit it in her bag, and that she would leave it here and take it "next time she visits". We've already established that the next visit will be over a year from now. Also, she wasn't trying very hard to take it with her. She had a full carry-on bag, but it's winter, and she wasn't wearing a jacket, so if she really wanted to take it, she could have worn it, and then put it in the overhead luggage compartment on the plane, or carried it over her arm, or whatever.
Anyway, this friend is very guess-culture
-y, and I am too, to a lesser extent. She communicates a lot through hints and actions rather than explicit statements, and often if you ask her outright about whether she is hinting about something, she will deny it - I guess to try to save face. I'm almost 100% sure that I won't get a straight answer from her if I ask her about this. She will try to guess which outcome I want (her appreciating the gift vs me keeping the jacket) and will tell me what I want to hear, then seethe about it in private.
So, my question is, if you are also this sort of hint-dropping person, do you think leaving the jacket behind was equivalent to saying she doesn't want it? Should I really store it for her for 14 months? Or can I call it mine and just wear it, and assume she won't want it back when she returns? I'm not offended either way; I just want to make use of the jacket if she won't; or keep it nicely for her if she really IS likely to want it back.