Disappointments of the past begone!

April 25, 2012 6:32 PM

I'm moving into a new office at work on Friday. The previous inhabitant has jokingly suggested I perform a ritual cleansing before I move in. I'm going to take him up on it. How should I go about it?

Specifically, I'd like to craft a little ceremony that is moderately respectful of various traditions, work-safe, secular, and amusing. But, y'know, maybe just a little bit superstitious.

There are plenty of easily Googled ritual web pages out there, but I'm not a Wiccan or any sort of spiritualist, so tell me how best to craft such an event.

posted by werty to Religion & Philosophy (19 answers total)

Clean all surfaces well with a spray cleaner, then burn sage and or a sage candle. Sage works to cleanse the bad vibes and ward off negative ones.
posted by i_wear_boots at 6:37 PM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]

(Please don't actually burn anything inside an office, especially something with any sort of scent)
posted by brainmouse at 6:38 PM on April 25, 2012 [2 favorites]

Heh. When I moved into a less-loved colleague's old office, I fancied sprinkling a few drops of Jack Daniels in each corner while muttering a few words ("Begone, evil energy! Welcome, positive vibes!") but that may not be considered work-safe. Maybe another type of liquid? Does this ceremony need to be witnessed?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:43 PM on April 25, 2012

There's a long story about how we bought our house from a very sad person, and there was some tragedy and things that were not great that happened here. For once, I'm not going to tell it, but I'll tell you what we did: Rather spontaneously, we walked around and spent time in every room just looking around, my husband playing guitar and both of us singing "Love's Gonna Live Here Again". Then, as we began getting it ready to move in, I swept the floors, and knocked down the cobwebs starting at the door, in a clockwise fashion, and then carried it out and threw it away. There were mirrors glued to the walls, and I took them out so there were no "memories' reflected in them. The whole time I thought good thoughts about what we wanted from the place. We worked really hard to infuse the space with good thoughts in whatever way we could. When we painted, we thought of it as creating a clean slate. We put all new lightbulbs in. We pulled a lot of weeds and thorny plants, and put a beautiful garden in. We've had a great life here for eleven years now.

So, if you can have some time in the space to play music that's meaningful and clean it of any old debris, and be very mindful of what you want from the place, and put something that grows into it, I think you can sort of imbue it with "you-ness" and fill it with positive, toxic-free vibes.
posted by peagood at 6:46 PM on April 25, 2012 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: Yes, I'm thinking we should have a little ceremony, seeing as I'm moving at 5 p.m. on Friday and people will be hanging around and winding down the week.
posted by werty at 6:47 PM on April 25, 2012

Maybe I'm projecting too much here -- this is more a changing of the guard than an exorcism, correct?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:50 PM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]

there was recently this ask in which a number of clearing rituals/ideas about shifting energy were discussed (along the lines of peagood's excellent example) ... maybe give it a read to inspire some steps for you? congrats on your new office!
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 6:58 PM on April 25, 2012

I'm granting werty a Religious Exemption this one time. Possibly, the burning could occur after hours -- maybe at midnight.
posted by Rash at 7:01 PM on April 25, 2012

That would be the sage burning. A friend does that whenever she concludes her business in her bathroom.
posted by Rash at 7:04 PM on April 25, 2012

If possible, you might consider rearranging some or all of the furniture. That will help you and your colleagues start thinking of the space as belonging to you instead of the previous occupant.
posted by carmicha at 7:08 PM on April 25, 2012

oh, and the first official things you bring over the thresh-hold in the move symbolize what you want an abundance of. choose wisely grasshopper!

re: the sage burning, some health foody-type stores, a good santeria, or web/mail-order have aromatic clearing devices in a pump bottle (or, aerosol!) form. good for bathroom visits and chasin the woo!
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 7:08 PM on April 25, 2012

I have a lesser cat banishing ritual that involves basically star jumps and shouting "boogity boogity boo!". (works 99% of the time on those devil beasts) If you're going for silly I'd try some of that. For doing any scented stuff, florida water smells awesome.
posted by Attackpanda at 8:00 PM on April 25, 2012

Sage incense smells a bit like weed, just an FYI.
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:07 PM on April 25, 2012

If it's the end of the work day on a Friday, could you open a bottle of something and hand around glasses of drink to whoever's there, with a toast? Needn't even be alcoholic if that's problematic, although it might be OK if your office culture's tolerant.
posted by zadcat at 9:12 PM on April 25, 2012

Before a fishing season, shipowners will "bless the fleet" by smashing a bottle of champagne on the hull of one of the ships. (Assuming your office doesn't have a hull, you could just drink the champagne and consider the office "blessed.")
posted by lalala1234 at 9:45 PM on April 25, 2012

So you want something tongue-in-cheek and fun, but "maybe just a little bit superstitious"? It sounds like you don't really buy into new-age spiritualism, but want to hedge your bets a bit, just in case there's something to it. Is that right?

In my opinion, any usefulness in those kinds of ceremonies is in how it affects your mind. If you're scared/apprehensive about some place, then any positive actions and thoughts you have in that place will help to get rid of that fear. So it doesn't matter if your workmates do a conga line clockwise or anticlockwise, what matters is that you enjoy it!

If you tend to agree with that sentiment, then have fun with this thing and make up your own ceremonies and superstitions! "Okay workmates, now it's time to sing a cleansing song by the famous spiritualist Freddie Mercury..." :-)
posted by pablocake at 10:58 PM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]

For something a little more low-key than sage burning (seriously, I wouldn't do this in a public space), you could set out a little dish of salt while you cleaned the space thoroughly. The salt absorbs negativity and the cleaning removes all traces of the previous occupant. When you're done cleaning, remove the salt and flush it.
posted by ThisKindNepenthe at 7:19 AM on April 26, 2012

For doing any scented stuff, florida water smells awesome.

In some esoteric circles, Florida water is also a cleansing thing; this may be a safe woo-sanctioned alternative to burning the sage. And depending on how big a town/city you live in, it can be easy to find - I've seen Florida Water at the local chain drug stores here in NYC.

If you can't find that, one of those funky saint/botanica candles you can find in supermarkets also could work. Or if you've got time to do a hunt, try to find one of the Everyday Icons candles that may seem appropriate (I"d go for either "Our Lady of Perpetual Paycheck" or "Protection from Crisis Queens," or "Protection from Boss From Hell" or "Our Lady of Deadlines").
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:32 AM on April 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

You can make a tea with white sage and sea salt. Put it in a spray bottle and spritz liberally.
posted by ottereroticist at 10:03 AM on April 26, 2012 [1 favorite]