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I've been a terrible daughter.
April 14, 2012 8:40 PM   Subscribe

Help me do something thoughtful for my mom on mother's day.

I'm 24 and living with my mom, and I want to do something meaningful for mother's day. I've put my mom through hell this year with my depression. I'm out of depression now. During this time she did everything I would ever want a mother to do, and showed unconditional love.

I don't want to do something big and fancy, nor do I want something sentimental and sappy.

How do I say thank you and I'm sorry all at once on mother's day and not be sappy about it?
Neither my mom nor me enjoy sentimentality.

Would a really thoughtful gift do the trick? My mom loves plants/flowers, wind chimes and other whimsical decorations (tasteful ones), she reads a lot and she sings in a couple choirs. She doesn't like things like breakfast in bed because it breaks up her normal morning routine. I'm sure she would like me to cook a lovely dinner though.

Can anyone help me?
posted by costanza to Human Relations (9 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Whatever you do, include a heartfelt card. It doesn't need to be sappy and long winded - just a "Mom, I appreciate everything you've done for me over the past year and I love you more than words can say."
posted by insectosaurus at 8:42 PM on April 14, 2012


I think a mother like yours would appreciate time to hang out more than anything else. Go out to a restaurant that you both enjoy for a delicious birthday dinner.

As for the gift, I think a unique gift and a heartfelt card will show appreciation and love. Check out Urban Outfitters if you are still in Montreal (based on previous questions). They have a lot of unique gifts that your mother might enjoy in the apartment section of the store.

Like this Newstalgic Picture Frame which is currently for $5.99. You could buy two of these frames and display a recent photo in one and an older photo in the other.
posted by livinglearning at 8:53 PM on April 14, 2012


Collect your favorite memories of her being an awesome mom and do something artistic with them, like pairing them with family pictures in an album. The more specific, the better: "the time you drove across town to get red sequins for my Halloween costume," not "you were always there for me." If you have siblings, ask for their memories too.
posted by lakeroon at 9:00 PM on April 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


As a mother with a sometimes depressive older child I think what I would appreciate most is something handmade- a written card with thanks, a simple drawing. Maybe it sounds childish, but Moms do like that. Add a plant if you want,too. Something that will live and continue to show growth. And know that you are never "a terrible daughter" to a mom who loves you unconditionally.
posted by Isadorady at 9:06 PM on April 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


My brother and I sent flowers to our mother's workplace with a card that read, "We love and appreciate everything you've done for us." Simple, but she appreciated it greatly because not only did we express our love for her, but we also showed all her co-workers how much she is loved by us.
posted by astapasta24 at 9:14 PM on April 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


you are never "a terrible daughter" to a mom who loves you unconditionally.

This needs to be emphasized. It's not like you choose to have depression. You shouldn't apologize for who you are. Your mom loves you, depression and all, not some ideal of you.

Neither my mom nor me enjoy sentimentality.

How about you write (in the card, or in an enclosed letter) exactly what you remember of all the things your mom did for you while she was taking care of you? Show your mom that even though you were depressed, you recognized that she was not taking it personally, and that you recall with gratefulness (and in detail) the part she played in helping you get through it.

she sings in a couple choirs

If you don't already go to your mom's choir performances, promise to make a habit of going to the next year's worth of events. My mom sings in choirs, and loves it when I come to performances. They're never my cup of tea, but it makes her so happy to share this particular talent with me.
posted by paleyellowwithorange at 3:20 AM on April 15, 2012 [4 favorites]


Is there a neat little garden center in your area? On Mother's Day it will be loaded with all the neat stuff they could afford to bring in! When I owned my garden center, Mother's Day was really fun because we had lots of folks coming in to treat Mom to some of her favorite things. If your Mom shares that nearly universal inclination to never let her daughter pay for anything, you can probably arrange with the owner to have you pay while Mom isn't looking - we happily conspired with many a daughter to make sure this happened:)
posted by PlantGoddess at 5:50 AM on April 15, 2012


@ Plant Goddess: hehehehe no, she doesn't share that inclination actually, and wants me to get off my ass and make some money of my own. But the garden centre idea is great!
@paleyelloworange: Yup, I'm going to the concert next weekend.

Thanks for your ideas everyone and keep em coming.
posted by costanza at 6:10 AM on April 15, 2012


Aside from a heartfelt card or letter, plants are lovely and taking a little extra effort with it will make it more meaningful. Go to a garden center and buy a pot and a plant and plant it yourself. The very fact that you did it, will mean a lot to her.
posted by i_wear_boots at 8:14 AM on April 15, 2012


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