Drug abuse, recovery, sex addiction and children.
April 11, 2012 1:40 PM Subscribe
Someone very close to me is a recovering meth user with 3 small children, her latest baby daddy is a recovering alcoholic who is also convicted rapist albeit on parole now. I am having some concerns about her and the kids but am at a loss as to what I should or even can do....
posted by yodelingisfun to human relations (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Let's call this person Kay, she was sober all of a month maybe when she met the guy Bob and immediately got pregnant. He committed a violent rape 20 years ago while in a black out and got sober in jail and has as far as I can tell been sober since. He always struck me as sort of dumb and definitely misogynistic but hey, he served his time and is in recovery so he deserves a chance, no? So Kay gives birth to a baby boy, she also has 2 girls from previous relationships, they are approximately 8 and 11. Their various father's are tangentially involved in their lives and are both users/alcoholics. Kay and Bob live together though I should add that Bob is actually married to another woman. God this is so soap opera and if it weren't really happening I'd not believe it...anyhow, Bob apparently has been cheating on Kay since their relationship started with multiple women. When one of these women contacted everybody in Kay's family to tell the sordid story Kay confronted Bob who admitted to sleeping with this women but claimed he was just using her for money and gifts. For a reason that I am unable to discern this satisfied Kay and she continues to live with Bob and even bought him a car (have I mentioned that he has no real job? no? well she supports the whole family as a waitress) Everyone has been shocked and confused and not a single one of us want anything to do with Bob at this point. He got one of the other women pregnant even but she miscarried. One of Bob's other girlfriends has been harassing Kay's oldest daughter on fb even. Kay has shut out all friends and family, stating we don't understand (this is true!). Her behavior has been very erratic as of late though I can't tell if it's from the situation or if she is using again. So that's most of the story and my question is what should I or can I do to ensure the kids are safe?? I feel like Kay would shut me out her of and the kid's life entirely with little provocation and I wouldn't be able to help her or them...Kay's sponsor has confided that Kay is no longer talking to her or going to meetings. Can I talk to Bob's parole officer about my fears? Is that even appropriate? Is Bob even a danger to the kids? I am so lost here...(I should add that the baby is now 2 so Kay and Bob have been together for 2 years which is how long Kay has been sober, if she still is sober)