Should I warn my friend about working with an alleged sexual harasser?
March 24, 2012 5:00 PM Subscribe
A model friend of mine is due to work with a photographer about whom I've heard unsavoury (sexual harassment of models-related) rumours. She's an experienced pro model so would likely not take that kind of crap, but I wonder whether I should pass on my information to her (it is at best second hand), or whether I should just keep my mouth shut (for fear of spreading vicious rumours that might be unfounded).
FWIW (not much) I have met, and don't particularly like, the photographer in question.
Any advice?
Yeah I usually fall on the side of not rumor-spreading, but in this case it seems worthwhile to give her a "hey I dunno if this is true, but I've heard rumors that Jim will harass models, be on your toes" heads up.
posted by kavasa at 5:06 PM on March 24, 2012 [8 favorites]
posted by kavasa at 5:06 PM on March 24, 2012 [8 favorites]
"Hey, can I go with you to the shoot? I've always wanted to see one of these things."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:10 PM on March 24, 2012
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:10 PM on March 24, 2012
If she's an experienced fashion or figure model, I can't imagine that she's not heard these rumors before. I guess you can mention it, but I'd not want to put someone off her stride, professionally.
posted by Ideefixe at 5:16 PM on March 24, 2012
posted by Ideefixe at 5:16 PM on March 24, 2012
Best answer: I suspect that if she's been working more than six months, she knows. She's seen it already, and they talk - models don't work in a vacuum, and neither do their agents. I think any experienced model starts from a perspective of "utterly despicable" and anything better than that is a pleasant surprise.
For your peace of mind, you might ask her what her opinion is on fashion photographers in general if not this person in particular. If she strikes you as terribly naive, you can warn her, but it's more likely she'll tell you things about other photographers that'll alarm you even more than you already are.
posted by Lyn Never at 5:22 PM on March 24, 2012 [1 favorite]
For your peace of mind, you might ask her what her opinion is on fashion photographers in general if not this person in particular. If she strikes you as terribly naive, you can warn her, but it's more likely she'll tell you things about other photographers that'll alarm you even more than you already are.
posted by Lyn Never at 5:22 PM on March 24, 2012 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: "Hey, can I go with you to the shoot? I've always wanted to see one of these things."
For your peace of mind, you might ask her what her opinion is on fashion photographers in general if not this person in particular. If she strikes you as terribly naive, you can warn her, but it's more likely she'll tell you things about other photographers that'll alarm you even more than you already are.
Context that I probably should have added in the first place: I'm a photographer myself, and she and I met on a fashion shoot of mine.
I suspect that Lyn is right, though; she'll likely have seen it before. If this were one of the less experienced models that I've worked with I think I might have been likelier to warn them.
posted by gmb at 5:37 PM on March 24, 2012
For your peace of mind, you might ask her what her opinion is on fashion photographers in general if not this person in particular. If she strikes you as terribly naive, you can warn her, but it's more likely she'll tell you things about other photographers that'll alarm you even more than you already are.
Context that I probably should have added in the first place: I'm a photographer myself, and she and I met on a fashion shoot of mine.
I suspect that Lyn is right, though; she'll likely have seen it before. If this were one of the less experienced models that I've worked with I think I might have been likelier to warn them.
posted by gmb at 5:37 PM on March 24, 2012
There's no harm in warning her (even if she is aware of the same rumors), just don't make your information sound more certain than it is. If you don't and she has a bad experience, you'll feel like crap. And she's your friend. This seems like a clear "tell."
posted by J. Wilson at 5:49 PM on March 24, 2012 [6 favorites]
posted by J. Wilson at 5:49 PM on March 24, 2012 [6 favorites]
You can still mention it, just say that it's second hand info that you can't verify - she might tell you she already knows - it just ensures there's an open dialogue between friends that says I've got your back.
posted by mleigh at 8:22 PM on March 24, 2012
posted by mleigh at 8:22 PM on March 24, 2012
Best answer: The typical mefi "mind your own business" is meant to apply to situations where the rumors in question are minor, such as "he's a jerk".
This is not meant to include information that would save someone from serious harm such as abuse, neglect, sexual harassment, etc.
This is the type of rumor that you tell people about for their safety. If it isn't true, no real harm was done. If it is true, you could have just saved your friend from traumatizing abuse.
Safety > Career
Safety > "Mind your own business"
Safety > "Well it is second hand information, so it may not be true"
When in doubt, think "if I were her, would I want to know?". Always go with that answer, it is your instinct helping you help your friend.
posted by Shouraku at 12:33 AM on March 25, 2012 [5 favorites]
This is not meant to include information that would save someone from serious harm such as abuse, neglect, sexual harassment, etc.
This is the type of rumor that you tell people about for their safety. If it isn't true, no real harm was done. If it is true, you could have just saved your friend from traumatizing abuse.
Safety > Career
Safety > "Mind your own business"
Safety > "Well it is second hand information, so it may not be true"
When in doubt, think "if I were her, would I want to know?". Always go with that answer, it is your instinct helping you help your friend.
posted by Shouraku at 12:33 AM on March 25, 2012 [5 favorites]
You should definitely say something - don't leave it up to the agents or other models. Oftentimes those people are under intense pressure to even just get a booking with a great photographer and they willfully ignore the harassment. Or they won't say anything for fear of not getting the call next time. And safe to say, if it is rumored, it is almost certainly true. I recommend reading some of this article and the comments as well.
posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 8:01 PM on April 4, 2012
posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 8:01 PM on April 4, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by blaneyphoto at 5:03 PM on March 24, 2012 [8 favorites]