Breaking up is hard to do...
July 5, 2005 7:06 AM Subscribe
I'm now to the point that I'm thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend. But I'm finding it really, really difficult to do....
posted by zardoz to human relations (28 answers total)
We've been dating for about a year, but for the past 3 or 4 months I've been feeling stifled in the relationship. I want to be on my own again, but I find it almost impossible to tell her because I know that it will hurt her. A lot.
The thing that makes it so difficult is that I like her. I enjoy being with her and spending time together. But as of late my feelings have become more platonic--actually, almost completely platonic. She's the one who initiates sex--which is great in and of itself--but I find my romantic feelings for her have passed on. I do love her, but I'm not in love with her (pardon the cliche).
Another aspect is that she's very much into the idea of settling down. She's 30, I'm 32, and maybe I should be in that frame of mind, but alas, I'm not.
Because we've spent so much time together and have done so many things together, it feels wrong of me to just pull the plug, and the thought of having The Talk just kills my soul. I recognize this is a weakness on my part. I just can't stand the thought of her feeling alone and unwanted. Which is actually not what I want--I'd love to be able to hang out with her and spend time with her in the future--but platonically, which I've learned from experience can be a difficult point to reach with an ex.
I'm just wondering if anyone has ever been in my shoes before. (And I have a bonus request: I carry around my ipod and would like to listen to some "breakup" music, some songs that can help me get through this period. Hopefully nothing too dreary. Any suggestions?)
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