Women, what are some things you did after birth that helped you to become more self-sufficient in taking care of your child (i.e. not needing to have the father around all the time)? What are some things the father did to support you in this process?
Right now I'm working from home to support my wife and I'm really not able to focus on my work. If I could either work a full day uninterrupted in my home or go somewhere else to work that would be great.
My wife is tired all the time and it seems like it takes all her energy to feed our child (breastfeeding) as well as doing some chores around the house (I'd say right now household chores are close to 50/50. I do most of the cooking and some of the other chores like feeding the cats, emptying the cat litter, handling garbage/recycling, etc. She does most of the cleaning [apart from the toilets] because I'm a hopeless slob and she's a germaphobe).
I also do nearly of all the diaper changes and take over watching the kid when she needs to rest.
Of course, this means that my workflow is constantly interrupted. I often work from bed which isn't very productive, but if I go elsewhere it just means that I have to run upstairs many times a day to deal with diapers and other things with our son.
I know that raising a kid is a challenge and that it requires hard work from both parents, but I find it incredibly frustrating that I can't do my other job -- the one that pays the bills. My work is shoddy, my focus is gone, and I feel like I am letting my boss and the company I work for down.
At this point I feel like my wife really needs to get to the point where she can take care of herself and our child for an 8 hour period so that I can actually do my work.
Right now, for example, I'm watching over him so she can get some sleep but he wants to be held, so I am here, typing this with one hand instead of getting work done.
- The baby is around 4 months old
- My wife is recovering from c-section surgery, and her back hurts if she holds the baby for more than a couple of minutes
- I used to go to an office 3 days a week where I was generally more productive than at home. That hasn't been the case for 6 months
- So far I haven't gotten any feedback from my boss on my work, but it's all pretty hands-off and I think he has understanding because of the baby. I'm not sure how long I can keep treading water before I start getting into trouble, though.