What if...I'm lacking inspiration?
December 2, 2011 10:43 PM

Need some good "what if...?" sayings!

I'm running low on inspiration for an art project, so just to get the motor running I figured I'd ask the hivemind for some sayings. What are some good "what if...?" sayings, maybe questions you asked as a kid or things you ponder every day. They can be whimsical or fanciful or completely random.

Some examples given with the theme were "What if it really rained cats and dogs? What if money really grew on trees?" So I guess common sayings/expressions would work as well.

I know this might be a little vague but hopefully I can get some ideas (or just a jumping-off point)! My mind is too mushy to think of anything right now. Thanks!
posted by sprezzy to Grab Bag (27 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
What if you really could dig a hole all the way to China?

What if I won the lottery?

What if you could live forever?

What if you could go back in time?

What if there were no more wars?
posted by MexicanYenta at 10:58 PM on December 2, 2011


What if you knew you couldn't fail?

What if I let the bath water run for ten hours?

What if the cow really jumped over the moon?

What if you really jumped for joy?

What if you really ran around in circles?
posted by WaspEnterprises at 10:59 PM on December 2, 2011


What if you couldn't remember the past?

What if you could only use two of your senses at a time?

What if words swapped meanings?

What if you didn't have a cell phone?

What if you needed other people?
posted by it's a long way to south america at 11:08 PM on December 2, 2011


What if you could see yourself the way other people saw you?
posted by taff at 11:11 PM on December 2, 2011


what if there were no hypothetical questions?

what if i just stopped going into work?

what if i god came down and explained women to me?

what if i had a pair of pants with a magical $20 pocket?
posted by facetious at 11:14 PM on December 2, 2011


What if they gave a war and nobody came?

What if you and your children traded places?

What if six was nine?

What if colors looked like sounds?

What if Beethoven wasn't deaf?

What if JFK lived?

What if straight people were the minority?

What if Jesus had a talk show?

What if you knew when and how you would die?
posted by timsteil at 11:15 PM on December 2, 2011


What if Philosoraptor came in handy?
posted by divabat at 11:19 PM on December 2, 2011


What if Philosoraptor came in handy?

See also: Conspiracy Keanu. Whoa!
posted by vorfeed at 11:41 PM on December 2, 2011


What if all of this is just a dream?

What if your mouth was on your elbow?
posted by pianomover at 11:49 PM on December 2, 2011


What if this is really Hell?

What if this is really a dream?

What if you could clone yourself?

What if you were filthy rich?

What if you could change one thing about your body, your physical self?

What if you could change one thing about your personality, your intangible, internal self?

What if you were an identical twin?

What if you were an orphan?

What if you were a different race, ethnicity or religion?

What if you were a native of a different country?

What if you were a soldier?

What if you were president?

What if you were world dictator?

What if you chose how you would die?

What if your house were on fire?

What if you had to kill someone to defend yourself or someone else?

What if you were living in a different time period?

What if you could travel in time?

What if you had to lose one of your senses? Which one would you choose?

What if there are colors we can't see?

What if dolphins take over the world?

What if your face became disfigured?

What if there really is a boogeyman?

What if the government drafted you into a firing squad?

What if you walked in your sleep, and you woke up naked outside your home?

What if you were the opposite gender?

What if you had two extra arms, and eyes in the back of your head?

What if the "other side" had won a major war?

What if you had to find a new career?

What if you were in a plane that crashed?

What if you were homeless?

What if you were Superman?

What if you were an astronaut?

What if you could learn from anyone, alive or dead, real or fictional?

What if you were a wizard?

What if you were telepathic?

What if you woke up tomorrow in totally different unfamiliar life, and you didn't know how you got there?

What if you had amnesia?

What if you went into a coma?

What if any of these things happened to any of your loved ones?

What if pets could talk?

What if walls could talk?

What if clouds were made of cotton? What if clouds were made of cotton candy?

What if ice cream had no calories?

What if you were in prison?

What if you were stranded on a dessert island?

What if you could turn back time?

What if you could put time on pause, for everyone else?

What if you put your pants on both legs at the same time?

What if you stand on your head?

What if Jesus hadn't been executed?

What if you found out you have multiple personalities?

What if you can't keep memories?

What if you lived off the land?

What if a third party in the USA gained major power?

What if a big snowstorm covers your house and you have no electricity for a week?

What if you could break the laws of physics?

What if the laws of physics stop working?

What if you found all the world's missing socks?

What if you were 10 feet tall?

What if you could fool all the people all the time?

What if you had to trade one of your talents for another?

What if you had to be someone else? Who would you be?

What if the world ends tomorrow?

What if the world started evolving backwards?

What if there were more or less than 24 hours in a day?

What if there were eight days in a week?

What if you could choose a superpower?

What if you were framed for a crime?

What if you got arrested for drunk driving?

What if you got hit in the face with a pie?

What if you could live some piece of fiction, music or artwork? Which would you choose?

What if you hiccuped all the time?

What if you never had sex again?

What if you married your first love?

What if you could grant a wish for anyone else every day?
posted by maurreen at 12:01 AM on December 3, 2011


... God were one of us? Just a slob like one of us?

OK not really. But what about "If animals spoke english (or whatever preferred language)?"
posted by Kloryne at 12:06 AM on December 3, 2011


What if aliens were already among us?

What if man is alone in the universe?

What if the internet had never been invented?
posted by fearnothing at 1:10 AM on December 3, 2011


I always like to say "There's the plan. And then there's what happens."
posted by sexyrobot at 1:34 AM on December 3, 2011


The lyrics to Appels and Oranjes by the Smashing Pumpkins is pretty much just What If statements.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 1:57 AM on December 3, 2011


What if you did [insert action that really scares you here] and it turned out great?
posted by Cocodrillo at 3:03 AM on December 3, 2011


What if your face really did freeze like that?

What if you could suddenly see ghosts?

What if you did go blind from that?

What if you were suddenly famous for doing something great?

What if you were suddenly infamous for doing something horrific?

What if you followed every traffic law to the letter for one day?

What if you discovered a dead body unexpectedly?

What if you sat with a stranger as he/she died?

What if you had to go into witness protection?

What if you made a silly wish and it really did come true?

What if you received an organ donation?

What if you had a near death experience?
posted by jaimystery at 3:27 AM on December 3, 2011


All this and more at "what if"site: Ask.metafilter.com via Google
posted by lampshade at 3:42 AM on December 3, 2011


Some different kinds of whatifs, courtesy of Shel Silverstein:

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pol?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatifs strike again!


posted by headnsouth at 3:52 AM on December 3, 2011


What if you could walk on water?

What if you could breathe underwater?

What if you woke up and found you were the only person left on the planet?

What if you led a secret double life?

What if everything tasted like pancakes?

What if mermaids were real?

What if the everyone's life had a fairytale ending?

What if snow followed you everywhere?

and to quote a great film, "What if this is as good as it gets?"
posted by seriousmoonlight at 5:06 AM on December 3, 2011


What if she really were a cat person?
posted by thejoshu at 5:42 AM on December 3, 2011


What if you led a secret double life?

I think she's looking for hypotheticals.

Uh, I mean what if everyone else on the internet really is a dog?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 5:55 AM on December 3, 2011


What if this really is the best of all possible worlds?

What if everyone was functionally immortal (no death due to aging or disease, but death due to physical injury was still possible)?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:26 AM on December 3, 2011


A Softer World: "I called my therapist yesterday, in a panic. I said, 'what if the sky falls again?' and she said 'well, what if you fall in love?'"
posted by Eshkol at 6:50 AM on December 3, 2011


(Ms. Vegetable):
What if "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" was real?
What if I could time travel?
What if beer had no effect on me?
What if mental illness wasn't real?
What if it were all the placebo effect?
What if you orgasmed every time?
What if women's voices cracked?
What if there were a free lunch?
What if we could regrow teeth, bones, etc?
posted by a robot made out of meat at 8:38 AM on December 3, 2011


What If Spider-Man Had Joined the Fantastic Four?
What If Iron Man Had Been a Traitor?
What If War Machine Had Not Destroyed the Living Laser?
What If No One Was Watching the Watcher?
What If Karen Page Had Lived?
What If Jessica Jones Had Joined the Avengers?
What If Uncle Ben Had Lived?
What If Norman Osborn Won the Siege of Asgard?"
What If Loki Found Thor's Hammer First?
What If Spider-Man's Uncle Ben Had Lived?
What If the Hulk Went Bersek?!
What If Captain America Were Not Revived Until Today?
What if Susan Richards Died in Childbirth?
What If Destiny Had Not Destroyed Atlantis?
What If Dr. Strange Had Never Become Master of the Mystic
What If Thor of Asgard Had Met Conan the Barbarian?
What If Featuring Daredevil and Captain America
What If The Beast and The Thing Continued To Mutate?
What If The Fantastic Four Had Not Gained Their Powers?
What If Bullseye Had Not Killed Elektra?
What If The Watcher Were a Stand-Up Comedian?
What If The Avengers Had Become the Pawns of Korvac?
What If Wolverine Had Killed The Hulk?
What If Spider-Man's Clone Had Survived? / Moving Day
What If The Avengers Were the Last Superheroes on Earth?
What If Ghost Rider Were Separated from Johnny Blaze?
What If Phoenix Had Not Died?
What If Captain America Were Elected President? / What If ..
What If Thor Fought Odin Over Jane Foster?
What If The Hulk's Girlfriend Jarella Had Not Died?
What If Doctor Doom Had Become A Hero?
What If Sub-Mariner Had Married the Invisible Girl?
What If The Avengers Had Fought the Kree-Skrull War?
What If Spider-Man Had Stopped The Burglar Who Killed His Uncle?
What If Dr. Strange Had Been A Disciple Of Dormammu?
What If Ghost Rider, Spider-Woman, and Captain Marvel Had
What If Shang-Chi, Master of Kung Fu, Had Remained Loyal?
What If Someone Else Had Become Nova?
What If Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos Had Fought World War II?
What If Conan The Barbarian Walked The Earth Today?
What If Rick Jones Had Become the Hulk?
What If The Fantastic Four Were the Original Marvel Bullpen?
What If Jane Foster Had Found the Hammer of Thor?
What If The Avengers Had Been Formed During The 1950's?
What If The World Knew Daredevil Was Blind?
What If Someone Else Had Become the Amazing Spider-Man
What If the Fantastic Four Had Different Super-Powers?
What If Captain America And Bucky Had Both Survived World War II?
What If The Invaders Had Stayed Together After World War II?
What If The Avengers Had Never Been?
What If The Hulk Had The Brain of Bruce Banner?
posted by samsara at 8:41 AM on December 3, 2011


What If I Spent More Time Proofreading My Comments?
posted by samsara at 8:55 AM on December 3, 2011


What if everyone on earth lived forever?
What if everything you dreamed about appeared when you woke?
What if time happened in both directions?
What if you couldn't tell the difference between heat and cold?
What if everyone in the world loved you more than anyone else?
What if everyone had their own language, and no one spoke anyone else's?
What if you could meet your favorite fictional character?
posted by _cave at 6:15 PM on December 3, 2011


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