Out-of-this-world amazing scrambled eggs?

December 2, 2011 4:29 AM

I want to make show-stopping scrambled eggs. I want to walk down the street and have people say "There goes the best maker of scrambled eggs that ever lived." What tips (added ingredients, cooking techniques, etc.) might help me get to this goal? What's your secret to spectacular scrambled eggs?

Minimalist takes welcome, but expansive flavorful variations are equally encouraged.

posted by .kobayashi. to food & drink (66 answers total)

Use really good unsalted butter - a good knob of it. Add salt, not too much milk as it makes the eggs watery.

I've found adding anything else other than the above two ingredients turns the scrambled eggs into tasting like a ruined omelette.

Cook over a medium heat in a non-stick pan, and keep stirring, even if the house is burning down. Take off the heat just before they set as the eggs keep cooking. Trial and error works best!
posted by stenoboy at 4:33 AM on December 2, 2011

After discovering a dumpster that provides limitless slightly expired organic eggs, I learned different methods of preparing scrambled eggs.

The best thing I can tell you, is that generally, the unhealthier you can make them, the better they will taste. Lots of olive oil, butter, salt, etc.

One secret I learned is that the egg yoi tastes better than the egg white, so if you wanted you could do a 2 to 1 ratio or so of yolk to white.

Others can give better advice,

good luck!
posted by crawltopslow at 4:33 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Low & slow is the way to cook scrambled eggs.

Also, this is ridiculously unhealthy and I don't do it often, but if you whip eggs with sour cream instead of milk or water, you'll get something truly divine.
posted by xingcat at 4:36 AM on December 2, 2011 [12 favorites]

Melt unsalted butter in the pan, beat eggs together with heavy cream, cook slowly over low heat stirring with a wooden spoon, remove from heat very slightly before set. I like to salt and pepper my beaten eggs but that is personal preference.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:39 AM on December 2, 2011

Cook them in a heatproof bowl resting on a pot of simmering water, rather than in a skillet. It takes longer, and you have to stir them a lot, but the texture will be unbelievable.
posted by bcwinters at 4:39 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Non-stick pan on medium low heat. Melt butter in the pan - when you think you've put in enough, add a little more. Grind some salt into the melted butter. In a jug or bowl whisk two eggs for each person until there is no more white visible, pour into the pan. Leave it for about a minute, then start to lift it with an egg flip. Keep doing this for about three more minutes, or until the eggs look not quite ready - the eggs will keep cooking on the plate. Serve with thick crusty buttered toast and salt and pepper.
posted by goo at 4:39 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

No milk. Cook them as slowly as you can. No, slower than that. Thirty minutes is about right, stirring all the time. If they are cooked before that, then the temperature was too high. The devil who delights in rubbery eggs will whisper in your ear that you should turn up the heat a bit, that no one will ever know. Curse that demon and keep stirring the seemingly raw mixture. An eternity later, take them out a little before they're done, as they'll keep cooking on the plate.

I know thirty minutes sounds absurd. I know you can make wonderful eggs in five minutes. That's just fine. I am not making any wild claims. I am simply stating the fact that if you hold your nerve, these will be the best scrambled eggs you have every tasted.
posted by Busy Old Fool at 4:43 AM on December 2, 2011 [14 favorites]

Use water, not milk. Water makes them fluffy, milk makes them heavy. Salt and pepper, cook in butter. And yes, low and slow. Using water is vital, though, just a dash in your beaten eggs.
posted by lydhre at 4:43 AM on December 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

Here's a video of Gordon Ramsey makes scrambled eggs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU_B3QNu_Ks. This is in his pleasant British-TV persona.

Transcript:
Eggs in saucepan. No salt or seasonings in the eggs. Largish lump of butter in the cold eggs. Spatula, heat, stir and stir and stir and stir. If it starts solidifying too fast at the bottom, take it off the heat. Stir and stir and stir. When it's about done, put a lump of cool creme fraiche in which stops the cooking. Salt and season, add chives.
posted by krilli at 4:44 AM on December 2, 2011 [15 favorites]

Buy good eggs. Chickens that have a varied, more natural diet (grass, other vegetation, insects, worms) produce the best-tasting eggs. If you can find a local source of eggs from free-range chickens with a good diet, and cook the eggs within a day or two of laying, you'll be giving yourself the best possible start.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 4:44 AM on December 2, 2011 [4 favorites]

No no. The key to amazing creamy scrambled eggs

Break three eggs in to a bowl and beat well. Add a pinch of salt. To a cold pan add 90% of the eggs and a decent sized nob of butter - 2 tablespoons or so, cut up into small pieces. Turn the stove on low and stir constantly. One the eggs have reached an oatmeal like consistency turn the heat off and add the remaining eggs to stop the cooking. Add pepper and any fresh herbs that interest you - maybe chives or chervil and serve
posted by JPD at 4:46 AM on December 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

My expertise lies more in fried eggs but maybe some of the same theories and techniques can help you with your quest. I need to cite the French for most of the quality egg cookery that unfortunately is lost now.

1) Eggs are very delicate things and should be cooked with that thought constantly going through your brains.

2) Use ONLY heavy cream as the liquid to incorporate into the eggs. Even whole milk has too much water in it.

3) No salt until the end. It tightens the proteins and makes the eggs a little tougher.
posted by danep at 4:47 AM on December 2, 2011

as. slowly. as. possible.
it's a game. play it!

seriously, I get this buttery scramble that I spread on a nice wheat toast and it's incredible!
plus, what's nice is that with a slow cooking scramble you can have a lot of control over the consistency you're looking to achieve.
(I also learned from the Gordon Ramsay video that krilli linked to already)
posted by musicismath at 4:48 AM on December 2, 2011

I use a stick blender instead of a fork to beat my eggs. They always come out nice and fluffy.
You could put some grated truffle over your scrambled eggs, too - I've never done it, but it has always sounded wonderfully decadent to me.
posted by pinky at 4:51 AM on December 2, 2011

Make sure you whip your raw eggs enough so that there are no streaks of white left. Stir, or move them around, and at the very end turn up the heat. If I remember correctly, Alton Brown does a good tutorial/show on scrambled eggs. Here is the video.

Jacques Pepin does a good tutorial on omelets. I know not scrambled but still informative.
posted by Fairchild at 4:51 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

The Guardian tackled this question last year.

My own simple recipe has always been a source of delight, but now I'm feeling inferior:

1. Melt a lot of butter
2. Crack cold eggs into melted butter
3. Stir in cream
4. Keep stirring
5. Season generously
posted by roofus at 4:59 AM on December 2, 2011

Stir continuously from the time they are poured into the pan until the liquid is just gone.
posted by brujita at 5:01 AM on December 2, 2011

The Gordon Ramsay method is pretty awesome...a lot of work, but really, it does make a huge difference. Never stop stirring, and get them off the heat as much as you can while still cooking them.

I've also made infused butter, which helps add a secondary flavour to the eggs...chive butter or a salsa butter in particular is a great add to your eggs. What you serve them with is crucial as well; top notch bread (home made if you can do it), smoked salmon roses and a nice breakfast hash are sure to impress guests time and time over.
posted by Rodrigo Lamaitre at 5:09 AM on December 2, 2011

The Splendid Supper NPR ladies taught me how to make scrambled eggs that they call "Luxury Eggs." Big whack of butter, then slice up a whole shallot and sweat it in the butter. Keep the heat fairly low. Add in eggs that you have beat a pour of heavy cream into and season them with salt and pepper. Pour eggs in, cooking them by slowly pulling them away from sides, so you fold up the curds onto themselves over and over (low heat assists with this). When they are still wobbly and shiny, add in about 4 oz of cubed cream cheese.

It's the texture and the shallots that makes these so lovely.
posted by rumposinc at 5:12 AM on December 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

I whisk the eggs to a fare-thee-well... make sure they're good and blended. (This is heresy in some circles). Whisk in a sprinkling of salt, a few grinds of pepper and a dash of tarragon. Huge pat of butter in the skillet, melt and cover the pan with it. Then low and slow... don't know about =30 minutes= slow, but slow. Don't stir, fold. Constantly, with a silicone spatula. Don't stop folding the eggs into each other. Near the end, fold in a big handful of shredded cheddar.

Take it off the heat while still runny, and keep folding as the heat in the eggs finishes off the cooking... you're done when it looks creamy and bright and sunny.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:21 AM on December 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

I've found that salting the eggs at all while cooking makes them tough. Wait till they're on the plate.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 5:34 AM on December 2, 2011

As mentioned earlier - local, farm eggs! The difference in flavor and color is astonishing!
posted by leslies at 5:38 AM on December 2, 2011

cheese. add cheese
posted by gt2 at 5:41 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fry good bacon in the pan first, the thick kind you don't need to add oil to because the fat just drips out of it as soon as it hits the heat. When the bacon's done, lift it out of the pan, leaving behind the bacon fat. Drop the eggs into the pan, and move them around very, very quickly to avoid an omelette. Tip them out while there are still runny bits of egg mixed in. If you must, mix in a teaspoonful of creme fraiche to stop the egg from cooking. Add salt and fresh-ground black pepper, maybe a bit of chopped flat-leaf parsley.

This produces a scrambled egg entirely unlike the genteel, puree-like creamy varieties. But it is a beautiful thing. Eat it with the bacon and good bread.
posted by Acheman at 5:45 AM on December 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

To reiterate what many others have said...
1) Fresh, local eggs
2) An unhealthy amount of butter
3) An equal amount of heavy cream
4) Low, slow cooking
5) Late salting

Everything else—toppings, garnishes—are a matter of personal preference. Mark Bittman's "Best Scrambled Eggs" is a great guide for the ingredients and technique.
posted by slogger at 5:45 AM on December 2, 2011

Alton Brown tackled this topic on Good Eats a while back. One of his main points was that eggs become watery when they are overcooked because the proteins become highly denatured and no longer hold on to water, so taking them off heat while they are still a little runny is the way to go. I can't find the video where he explains all this but here is his recipe.
posted by TedW at 5:51 AM on December 2, 2011

OLD BAY.
posted by headnsouth at 5:51 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Take fresh eggs, and beat them well.
Heat some duck fat in a pan over *very* low heat.
Push the eggs through a fine meshed strainer into the pan.
Stir continuously, this means for at least 20 minutes.
When they are almost done take them out of the pan and onto a heated plate (the carryover heat will finish the eggs properly).
Shave some black truffle over the eggs, but be careful because it can become overpowering.
posted by alchemist at 5:53 AM on December 2, 2011

I ate ate a hotel in DC that had amazingly amazing scrambled eggs, and so I just straight up asked the guy how it was done. I've had mostly success with the method, still tweaking it. For me, the "secret" is how much to whip the eggs. I don't usually use a whisk because it takes too long, but instead a mixer or stick blender and beat them until they're frothy. Like 1tbl spoon of milk per egg. Mix until they're absolutely homogenized, whip in as much air as possible. Then melt the butter, a lot of butter...and pour and undercook until they're the desired consistency. Add salt and fresh pepper after they're done.

Unless you're cooking them for my fiancee, who prefers that they be browned and crispy on the edges. Gah.
posted by TomMelee at 5:56 AM on December 2, 2011

Seconding Old Bay, but also, add some mozzarella cheese. And a splash of milk when you're beating the eggs.
posted by sperose at 6:13 AM on December 2, 2011

3 eggs per person (the rule is: 1 boiled, 2 fried, 3 scrambled).
Whole eggs at room temperature in the pan.
Too much butter (at least a table spoon pp).
A handful of grated Emmental or Gruyere cheese.
Salt and pepper to taste.
Cook slowly, stir all the time.
Serve slightly runny: it continues cooking. (Trial and error: at least avoid overcooking.)

For a special occasion: add grated black truffle from the start. (Keep a dash of grated cheese: it enhances the taste). Divine.
posted by bru at 6:13 AM on December 2, 2011

Evaporated milk - I used to have scrambled eggs mixed with evaporated milk on a butter coated pan. Delicious. Can't remember the mix percentage though.
posted by TrinsicWS at 6:19 AM on December 2, 2011

It depends on what you are looking for. Are you looking for fully cooked, clumps of eggy lightness? Or creamy, almost like they are clotted cream?

Either way, it is all about temperature and consistency. I used to work at a restaurant, and I could literally tell when the griddle was out of calibration because the eggs cooked funny. (Ditto for the pancakes.) Sadly, I forget the right temperature. 265 maybe? There is a sweet spot where you get maximum fluff and minimum burn. If you want them creamier, cook them at a cooler temperature, almost like you are making a hollandaise. Fluffy, don't mix in the butter, just use it as a lubricant on the pan. For creamy, mix in the butter.

And I agree: eggs are like hamburgers. Don't put anything IN them. Cook them perfectly, add flavorings afterwards.
posted by gjc at 6:35 AM on December 2, 2011

Cook them the french way slowly over a double boiler taking almost 10 minutes to cook use lots of nice unsalted butter, a big dollop of cream at the end is not a bad thing.

Serve on lovely hot buttered toast. Sprinkle with chives if you like, my mum serves this with smoked salmon.

Also nice with piece of toast fried in the left over bacon fat, you can hear your arteries slamming shut as you eat.
posted by wwax at 6:43 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh and no matter what recipe you use if you are using 99c eggs from the supermarket it will have no flavour. Find someone with chooks(chickens) and scrounge some eggs. Free range are also well worth the price for a dish where eggs are the meal. I know not everyone agrees but I swear I can taste the difference, and the colour alone is way better.
posted by wwax at 6:45 AM on December 2, 2011

The Cook's Illustrated method produces very good results. The main tricks are the addition of extra yolks and half-and-half, thoroughly combining the white and yolks, and starting at a high temperature and finishing low. Adding heavy cream alone doesn't give the extra volume that milk does, and adding milk alone messes with the mouthfeel. Starting at a high temperature gives you nice, large 'starter curds,' while finishing low keeps the end-product creamy and avoids drying out.

4 large eggs plus 1 large yolk
2 tablespoons half-and-half
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/2 tablespoon unsalted butter , chilled

1. Beat eggs, yolks, half-and-half, 1/8 teaspoon salt, and 1/8 teaspoon pepper with fork until eggs are thoroughly combined and color is pure yellow; do not overbeat.

2. Heat butter in 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until foaming just subsides (but should not brown), swirling to coat pan. Add egg mixture and, using rubber spatula, constantly and firmly scrape along bottom and sides of skillet until eggs begin to clump and spatula just leaves trail on bottom of pan, 45 to 75 seconds. Reduce heat to low and gently but constantly fold eggs until clumped and just slightly wet, 30 to 60 seconds. Immediately transfer eggs to warmed plates and season with salt to taste. Serve immediately.
posted by jedicus at 6:52 AM on December 2, 2011

Finish with sriracha and a pinch of black pepper.
posted by BobbyVan at 7:12 AM on December 2, 2011

I grew up eating the big, puffy light curds of scrambled eggs, rather than the creamy consistency of the French style. If the big poofy curds are what you are after, here's my recipe.

2-3 eggs, per person
1/3 cup milk
2-3 heaping tablespoons of dried milk powder
dash paprika

I use one of those tupperware salad-shaker things to mix this all up. Pour into a frypan on medium heat, into which you've melted 2 tsp of butter. Cook, using a rubber spatula to scrape the bottom and sides of the pan. Serve hot.

The additional protein and reasonably high heat are what give you the big curds of egg. Low heat, as many others are advocating above, will give you the creamy French style eggs.

(Tip: Hie thee to the asian grocery store and get yourself some parathas. I like the fenugreek ones. Cook 1 per person according to the package directions. The perfect accompaniment to scrambled eggs.)
posted by LN at 7:14 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Definitely heavy cream and butter.
Done in the pan is overdone on the plate.
posted by plinth at 7:22 AM on December 2, 2011

Once I had a container of buttermilk and I didn't know what to do with all of it, so I just started adding it to things. One of the successes was scrambled eggs. Buttermilk in scrambled eggs is delicious. Then again, I also like a nice Greek feta cooked into them as well, with oregano (and a little salt and pepper). I like my scrambled eggs tangy.
posted by wondermouse at 7:45 AM on December 2, 2011

I consider myself a master of the fluffy, large-curd style of scrambled egg making, and my method is a variant of Alton Brown. Add maybe 1/3 Tablespoon unsalted butter per egg to a nonstick pan over very low heat. In a bowl, mix 1 Tablespoon milk per large pastured egg (not just organic/free-range, you want the ones from happy-ass chickens that eat bugs and grass) with a fork until well-blended though not completely uniform. You don't want it to look like Sysco industrial egg product. Gently season with salt and pepper. When the butter has melted, add the eggs. Your heat should be low enough that none of the egg cooks when it hits the pan.

If you're going all out, set the heat so it takes a full half hour of cooking for the eggs to get hot. Stir occasionally, but the heat should be low enough that you don't need to do so often until the last few minutes. The egg mixture should start to feel warm if you put your hand over it, and you'll see minuscule bubbles form on the surface. Then, when you're starting to feel like the eggs will never finish, you'll see a bit of curd start to form on the bottom of the pan. That's your sign that the fun part is starting.

If the first two parts were slow and boring, the climax is explosive. What you've done by slowly heating the eggs is to get them all to a uniform temperature that's just below where they cook. Thus primed, all they need is a slight jolt of heat to cook. Incorporated air is what makes fluffy eggs, so we're going to cook them, generating little pockets of air/steam, and finish the cooking before the pockets have a chance to collapse. Turn your burner to High. Just do it. Then, let it sit for about fifteen seconds. You should have a good curd built up by then, if not wait until you do. Scrape and flip, and from now on there's no going back. You've got to scrape and flip every time you get a good curd, which should be pretty much continuously from now own. When the last liquid is gone, but while the eggs are still reasonably runny, remove from heat. If you've done it correctly, you'll be left with a few very large curds that you can break down to single-serving size.

I like a bit of truffle oil on my eggs on occasion, but frankly they're best unadorned.
posted by wnissen at 7:59 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Follow-up question: What is the best way to prepare "scrambled" egg whites? I realize they probably will never be as good as the real thing, but yolks are not an option due to severe health effects.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:29 AM on December 2, 2011

Step 1: Turn the heat down.
Step 2: Turn the heat down.
Step 3: KEEP TURNING THE HEAT DOWN.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:35 AM on December 2, 2011

As many have state, low and slow is the way to cook, an the logical extreme is sous-videing scrambled eggs, i.e. cook them in a water bath at a set temperature:

sous vide scrambled eggs

If you don't have a super expensive sous vide supreme, the beer cooler sous vide method would work for this:

beer cooler sous vide
posted by permiechickie at 9:13 AM on December 2, 2011

I use the Alton Brown method, can't find the link right now but he cooks over low heat till the eggs start to set, then turns the heat up high to rapidly boil out liquid.

I also use butter that has not been sitting open in my fridge picking up fridge taste. This is key.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:33 AM on December 2, 2011

nthing water as the secret ingredient. Gives scrambled eggs a wonderful, melt-in-your-mouth texture if you cook them slowly enough.

Watch the Bittman video.
posted by swift at 10:09 AM on December 2, 2011

Was just going to suggest adding sour cream, but xingcat beat me to it.

Low and slow, as others have said. Dash of sea salt and freshly-ground pepper. I like putting in just a pinch of shredded cheddar/jack blend. But as others have mentioned, too many added ingredients makes the eggs feel more like a failed omelette.
posted by xedrik at 10:41 AM on December 2, 2011

Olive oil.
Sauteed shallots (diced mushroom and red pepper are good too).
Really good eggs.
Cheddar cheese (or goat cheese, cream cheese, etc).
Cook slowly, lots of stirring.
Salt and pepper towards the end
posted by jindc at 11:01 AM on December 2, 2011

Nathan Myhrvold of Modernist Cuisine fame says that a major practical discovery that came out of the creation of the books was this trick for scrambled eggs: For every two eggs in your recipe, add an extra egg yolk. This makes a bigger difference than anything else.
posted by slkinsey at 11:40 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

A friend from india made me scrambled eggs, pre-treating the pan with a chile pepper, then removing the chile and cooking cumin, turmeric, and maybe coriander, and *then* adding the eggs after the spices were pre-heated. Best eggs I've ever had.

Other than that, use organic/free-range eggs. The yutzier ones actually do taste notably better.
posted by talldean at 12:32 PM on December 2, 2011

Run warm water over the eggs before cracking to bring them to room temperature. Dry the eggs, crack and beat while melting butter in pan. When eggs are fluffy, add in a bit of heavy cream. A splash of orange juice can also be added for a bit of zip. Add in sea salt and pepper. Pour into sizzling butter.
I move my eggs around in the pan with a heat safe spatula while cooking so that it comes out in small, bite size, creamy morsels. You want to cook just until the shiny is gone, no longer.

* Prior to cooking, saute mushrooms in butter until they weep. Serve on top of eggs. Serve with homefries and caramelized onions and buttermilk biscuit. I cook the onions the night before.
posted by myselfasme at 12:43 PM on December 2, 2011

Everyone raves about my scrambled eggs. They're very simple:

- I whisk the eggs thoroughly with some whipping cream, maybe 1/2 tsp per egg, but I don't really measure.

You can add seasoning here, but don't add salt if you're going to use salted butter or cheese, or anything else salty like smoked salmon.

- I melt salted butter in the pan, enough to easily cover the bottom. I don't think it matters if you use salted or unsalted, I just don't have to salt them this way.

- I don't disagree about "low and slow" but I don't think it matters if you do it right; I do mine on medium high and I am constantly moving them with a spatula once they're in the pan. They come out fluffy with no crisp edges. By far the most common thing I've seen people do that results in awful scrambled eggs is that they aren't constantly in motion; no fluffy texture, lots of uneven texture, and for some reason they taste really sulfury too. Mine are done cooking in less than a minute. I really think the constant motion is what's crucial for texture, and to further get the yolks and whites more easily distributed (I suspect the sulfurous patches are yolk that wasn't mixed in well, and also got too hot).

A lot of places suck at omelettes, too, or at least the egg part, because they overcook the eggs and don't move them enough. I find it difficult, which is why I just make scrambles instead of true omelettes. Maybe low and slow would be a really good idea there, if you really can't move them much.

- Cheese is optional, but if you use it, grate it yourself; the bagged kind is coated in corn starch to prevent caking, and it gives a weird, dusty texture that'll stand out in a bad way against some fluffy scrambled eggs.
posted by Nattie at 2:13 PM on December 2, 2011

I can't speak to the methodology, but as far as ingredients, my husband (who learned it from his grandmother) puts a few drops of vanilla extract in the eggs before he beats them. Blew. My. Mind.
posted by specialagentwebb at 4:14 PM on December 2, 2011

One day when out of milk to add to scrambled eggs, I whisked in a bit of plain Greek yogurt instead. This was very delicious, and has become my standard.
posted by Corvid at 4:36 PM on December 2, 2011

I freeze hunks of butter specifically for eggs. I stick a fork in the butter and use that to stir the eggs as they cook. The frozen butter melts slowly into the eggs and helps them from cooking too quickly. If I'm feeling especially decadent, I'll drizzle browned butter over the top of the eggs when they're done.
posted by dogmom at 6:03 PM on December 2, 2011

tabasco
posted by spitbull at 6:26 PM on December 2, 2011

I'm with the above who say water, not milk. Try seltzer, though! The fluff, she is fluffy.
posted by kostia at 6:37 PM on December 2, 2011

I love the slow cooked version, but when I am in a hurry and just need my EGGS NOW, this is what I do:

Tablespoon of sesame oil
Teaspoon of soy sauce (maybe more - eyeball it)
Sriracha if you have it, or any hot sauce you like

Heat your cheap-ass pan on medium, crack the eggs into the pan and work them until they are just broken up (whites and yolks are moderately blended), take off heat, plate and serve.
Fucking gorgeous eggs.
posted by msali at 6:45 PM on December 2, 2011

French-style soft scrambled are my favorite, and easy, foolproof really, just take longer than normal. I never liked scrambled eggs--texture too much like cotton candy--until I had them this way, yum.
posted by ifjuly at 7:44 PM on December 2, 2011

while slow cooked may indeed be the greatest thing ever for some people, my method has resulted in really the best eggs ever for me; they come out evenly done, not rubbery or sulfurous, and don't stick at all*.

There is nothing special here in the way of ingredients. Technique is critical.

- heat an 8-10" skillet on medium. I don't use nonstick, don't need to.
- crack and beat 2-3 eggs per person. Use good eggs if you can get them, not Safeway shit.
- Do not try to cook more than 2-3 eggs (i.e. one serving) in a pan at a time, otherwise you cool the pan too much, get uneven heating and ultimately a stuck-on, half-burnt, half-raw mess.
- whisk the eggs well, and add ONE TEASPOON water. No more, no less. No milk, no cream, no other dairy products.
- Don't try to add stuff like spices here either, because stuff like dry pepper, cumin, etc. isn't very miscible in raw egg; it just clumps into chunks and makes gritty spots.
- drop a knob of good butter into the pan; I'm agnostic whether salted or no. The key is to coat the pan thoroughly with melted butter, including swirling it up onto all the sides at least halfway. Don't burn the butter, just make sure it's melted and coats the pan.
- drop the eggs into the hot butter, and quickly give the pan a bit of a swirl so they coat evenly.
- take a fork and quickly/smoothly catch the centre of the eggs as they solidify, and pull the solid bit to the side. This makes a drain for the rest of the uncooked eggs to contact the centre/bottom of the pan.
- Pop a lid on and keep the pan moving (swirl with your wrist). DO NOT MESS with them after the fork bit. I alternate on & off the burner and keep them moving. In ~ 60-90 seconds the top will set and the whole thing will begin to puff up. When it does, they are done.
- take off the lid and flip the eggs out onto a warm plate. They should release and form the classic "omelette" shape, but it's not really an omelette since you didn't add anything, just good scrambled eggs.
- sprinkle with salt, fresh ground black pepper and a dash of coriander and/or cumin if you like.

*Note that I am REALLY super ultra hinky about my eggs being done hence "creamy" == "nauseatingly raw" in my lexicon, so take that for what it's worth.
posted by lonefrontranger at 7:54 PM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Here's what I do: First, cook some bacon in the pan. Drain the grease, but leave a little in there. Then I add a nice bit of butter to melt around. Add whipped eggs. Then, when they're about half cooked, I added in salsa (I like hot salsa) and jalapenos. Just before it's done, I add shredded four cheese blend, and continue cooking until they're done and the cheese is melted. It is ooohhh so good.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 3:11 AM on December 3, 2011

I'm from the mix them up frothy with cream school when I want to impress and others have covered the key points of low and slow and taking them off before they are done, both of which are absolutely crucial in my book. But the thing I added that people absolutely rave over was finishing them with truffle salt. Truffles really want to be in scrambled eggs. If I could get whole truffles and shave them, I absolutely would. Alas, in Richmond VA that is sadly not an available option. Some people request a little Gruyere cheese melted into the scramble, although I'm a purist who wouldn't add cheese unless I was going for the omelet.

You will note that you are going to get variable reactions, because to my mind eggs like lonefrontranger describes are damn near ruined and rubbery. Some people like their eggs firm and solid and some like them remarkably runny. So universal acclaim as the best egg chef ever may not be possible unless you are prepared to vary it up for each person. But no one ever says "Yuck, too much butter!"
posted by Lame_username at 9:52 AM on December 3, 2011

There are so many good ideas that I want to try here. Thanks, people of Metafilter! I'm gonna mark this resolved, but not select best answers -- at least not until I've had a chance to work through several of these.
posted by .kobayashi. at 9:29 AM on December 4, 2011

I have the feeling this is against the general grain here what with the "you need to use butter made from unicorn milk and cook them by holding them in your hands" general vibe I'm getting here, but eggs and a louisiana-style hot sauce are one of the greatest food pairings on earth, IMO. The bite of the hot sauce is like the perfect compliment to that hearty yolk flavour.
posted by neuromodulator at 10:17 AM on December 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

Butter (however much you can melt without feeling guilty), sautee a little garlic (or a lot of garlic) and baby spinach leaves until the leaves wilt, then pour your eggs (with a little milk, if that's your thing) over it and cook until the eggs start to set. Sprinkle with crumbled feta before the eggs set completely. Delicious!
posted by Lifeson at 11:32 AM on December 8, 2011

Things I've learned -- an update to this thread, several months and several eggs in the making:

1) The low and slow heat people are right on. I haven't taken 30m for eggs yet, but 15-18 isn't out of the question, and it does make a difference.

2) The milk I keep in the house in skim & lactose free. Which is what I want for cereal, not scrambled eggs. Using half-and-half for the eggs has been a big winner.

3) Lots of butter is good. Bacon grease is good. I'm now cooking with a bit of butter and a bit of bacon grease.

4) I'm usually doing unflavored. But on occasion I'll add a little bit of pepper, ground mustard, parsley and/or chives to the egg mixture, and that's been quite lovely.

5) Fresh eggs do make a difference.
posted by .kobayashi. at 9:23 AM on July 16, 2012 [2 favorites]