I'm in big trouble. Being dismissed from graduate school, have no idea what to do next. Any advice would be appreciated.
Apologies in advance for the long, winding version. I would appreciate it if no criticisms were thrown my way - not to sound defensive, but I've been through a lot already, and right now what I need is advice and support. Thanks :)
To try and sum it up, I've been through a tough time lately. I've been going to therapy for this, but I thought I'd gain the insights of AskMeFi as well.
a) I graduated last year with a BA in Communication Studies. Interned as a temporary intern after graduation in the federal government.
a) I begun graduate school majoring in Deaf Education this fall. Due to not being in school for a year, and not expecting the intense workload/expectations of graduate school (which, in hindsight, I should've expected and have been more prepared for), I withdrew a required linguistics class I was failing. As I was on conditional approval (having to get all B's and above), and the withdraw impacted my GPA (withdrew while failing), I am now told by the Dean that I am dismissed from the program. Period. I was not prepared for this, because I was told I could either withdraw in good standing, or withdraw and fail. I felt this was unfair because it was a lose-lose situation - my original plan was to withdraw, then start from scratch next fall (the next time the course is offered). I was failing that class, because I was lost with the material, so I wanted to start over. That is not possible now, and despite me explaining the situation (in addition to explaining I had some emotional issues which I got counseling for), the Dean of my program recommended my dismissal, which the head Dean of the graduate program granted.
c) I now have the choice to appeal, which I will definitely do. I'm not sure of the best way to argue against the decision, other than having some emotional issues, because I was given the letter of conditions before beginning this semester, and it clearly outlined the requirements of the condition (getting all B's and over). However, I was somewhat misled to believe that withdrawing wouldn't impact my GPA, and only would impact the time of my graduation (which I was prepared for). Any advice on how to argue against the decision would be helpful. I was advised by the assistant Dean that roughly 1 out of 9 students get their appeals granted, so that's not putting much confidence in me. In fact, the entire meeting with her was quite unproductive, and I felt like she didn't truly understand where I was coming from.
I am also doing well in ALL my other classes - it was only that one linguistics class that I failed.
d) I am now in panic mode because: a. it's hard to find a job due to this economy - I've tried applying to many places with no success; b. I'm Deaf, which makes it even harder (not an excuse; it's reality because many people do not want to hire a Deaf person, except the federal government, which is running dry with open jobs these days); c. I have no idea what to do. I joined the Deaf Education program because it was initially a way to kill time, but I realized I want to learn more. This semester moved so fast, and I feel I wasn't given a fair shake. I also don't want to repeat doing nothing all spring like I did this past spring (after my internship) - that was a truly awful feeling having nothing to do all day; and d. I was told by the assistant Dean that the Dean probably would turn down my appeal.
I have a few other options, but none seem to really go anywhere at this point.
a. Return as a special student and take some classes next semester; this will give me more of an idea what to do. Problem: no financial aid whatosever - not even student loans.
b. Find a job (which I'm trying to do). Hard to do on short notice.
c. Try and fight the appeal, but right now, my confidence is shaken.
e) I'm having some issues with my family, so I don't think staying with them is an option, and not really something I want to do. Plus, they're 3,000 miles away on the west coast.
f) What about where I'll be staying? Winter break begins in a bit more than two weeks, so I have to figure out my living situation, because currently I live at the dorm. If I can't continue next semester, and being a special student isn't possible, I have to find a place to live pronto. I'm swamped with finals.
As you can see, there are many factors and questions and so many uncertainties. Quite frankly, I have no idea what I'm going to do, what I have to do. I'm 25, and I'm utterly lost at this moment, and overwhelmed. Everything happened so fast. I feel like I have failed myself, and I found it somewhat nerve-whacking that I was dismissed out of the program as fast as you could say "ciao" just for withdrawing a class I felt was the right decision. Now I feel screwed over, despite this being university policy, and any advice/insights/suggestions could be useful.
I have made a video
of myself on YouTube a while ago to share with my friends (click on the link provided) and right now I don't know if I can live up to my own words. I'm not suicidal or anything, I promise, but things really are that much of a mess, and I have a lot to deal with. Therapy helps, but can only go so far.
Apologies in advance if I come across as whiny and/or demanding in any way. I'm just really in over my head, to be frank.
Thanks, and any questions will be welcomed. :)