I'm interested in online writing or books that take a positive and feminist approach to romantic love.
This is something that's been on my mind for a while now, though I'm not sure exactly how to articulate it.
Some backstory: my parents have an extremely strong relationship and have always seemed very much in love with each other. Growing up, their relationship, and particularly the way my father treats my mother, has always served as a good model for healthy relationships. At the same time, my mom is a strong feminist and this had a great influence on me as well. Thus to me, feminism and romantic love have always seemed very compatible, and in fact intertwined -- the fact that my parents' relationship is built on feminist principles seems to me to have strengthened their bond, not threatened it. I feel the same way about the relationships I have been in personally.
Yet on the Internet, I often see variations on the following themes: i)
how feminism is destroying your relationship or your chance of ever finding one; ii)
I'm in love -- can I still be a feminist? and the ever popular iii)
"I'm not a feminist... I love men."
Some of the feminist writing on love seems interesting: for instance Bell Hooks' Communion: The Female Search for Love
and All About Love: New Visions
(at least from the Amazon previews), yet I can't shake the feeling that they all seem a bit pessimistic, even cynical about possibilities for romantic love. And I can understand that that's a perfectly valid, even understandable way to feel, yet isn't there writing out there that is more in line with my personal experience? Help me out please.