Having regrets about moving...it's eating me up inside and I'm not sure how to deal
October 1, 2011 12:13 PM Subscribe
I'm about halfway through setting up my new studio in Oakland, and I feel this overwhelming sense of feeling like I should have looked for a place in San Francisco instead. I'm not sure what to do at this point.
posted by starpoint to Home & Garden (29 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
So I've recently relocated to the Bay Area from a small East Coast town. I was staying with family in Oakland and was in a bit of a hurry and eager to find a place of my own, which is what I've wanted for a LONG time. I was going to look all over the Bay Area. However, I was a bit homesick at the time I was doing apt hunting and it's expensive and a hassle to get around the Bay Area. I was lazy and unmotivated to get in touch with people in SF to ask them about housing. It was so much easier to search for a place in Oakland instead.
I walked up and down a few streets near my family member's place, fell in love and decided I wanted to live there. Found an apt in a nice neighborhood with a landlord who is as nice as he could be.
What I failed to consider was the safety of getting to places beyond my immediate neighborhood. I've found some great things in Oakland that I want to try (meditation classes, fitness centers, meetup groups, etc), but everything meets in the evenings. This means walking back to my apt at night from bus stops. I don't own a car and have no interest in getting one, so I rely on public transit. As a single female, I don't feel safe walking around in Oakland after sunset. My neighborhood is mostly residential and the buses don't go all the way into the neighborhood.
Every time I visit SF, I get this overwhelming feeling that I should have searched for a place there. SF is busier, more opportunities to meet people (dating, hanging out with co-worekrs, etc), less crime, easier to get around, doesn't have a bad reputation, etc, etc. The energy in SF makes me feel alive. I only tried searching for SF apartments once, on craigslist. My budget allows for no more than $1150 toward rent. My studio in Oakland is $865 in a nice neighborhood. If only I could move it to SF!!!
I'm still in the process of moving my things over to my studio in Oakland. My family in Oakland says there's no rush to move out of their place. My question is, do you think I should cancel my rental agreement now (luckily it's month to month) and search for a place in SF? The problem is I've already got Ikea furniture there and no where to put it. I know some people in SF and I would just need to put up the effort to ask them for advice on apt hunting and make time to go across the Bay regularly to look at places.
Also, how realistic is it to find a studio in SF for $1150 or less, in a nice neighborhood that allows cats? Or do I have no choice but to live with roommates?
So here are my options:
1. Continue setting up my apt, give it 6 months, and after that, reevaluate if I still want to stay there or move.
2. Use my Oakland apt as temp storage for my furniture, stop setting up the apartment, and start searching for a place in SF immediately. This would be awkward b/c I've already gushed about how happy I was about my studio to my family, co-workers, friends, etc. Lord knows what they will think of me when I tell them I've had a change of heart?
Just 2 days ago I was all excited about living in Oakland. But when I went to SF yesterday, that's what brought this on. I thought I'd feel better today, but I'm not. Any insights would be appreciated. If you were in my situation, what would you do? Thanks!