Help me find a prose reading for my best friend's wedding!
September 22, 2011 8:51 AM Subscribe
My best friend is getting married! And I am doing the reading! Yay! Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find anything that really fits
the couple. Halp.
Just to head things off at the pass: her only hard requirement for me was “no poetry.” She’s very well read and owns books of poetry, so this is a matter of taste and not just an ignorant dislike of the medium. So no poetry. Knowing the bride for over a decade now, and the groom from the day they met, my requirement is “no cuddly stuff.”
A little about the pair: late-20s, very smart, arty, geeky, and civic-minded. She (and I) grew up as rough-and-tumble immigrant kids in Brooklyn. He had a more-or-less traditional (albeit liberal) upbringing in the upstate NY suburbs. I lived next door to them for about two years and, in my time as Kramer, I would regularly walk in on them watching Lord of the Rings for the umpteenth time, him painting his Warhammer 40K army and her wrists-deep in another mosaic project. One of the first things I remember her being all gushy about was that he enjoyed painting and listened to acquired-taste electronic music (Aphex Twin, Squarepusher, et. al.) We all play Dungeons and Dragons and Magic: The Gathering together when we hang out. They both have master's degrees and work for the government (her: public health, him: transportation.)
The bride’s family is Russian-Jewish, all immigrants, and based on the toasting traditions of our people, terseness is heavily discouraged. The groom’s family is a bit conservative (in the “no dirty stuff” sense, not the socio-political sense) so I can’t work remotely blue. If possible, I want something sincere and, more importantly, funny. Not, like, “aw, that’s sweet”-funny, but genuinely crack-‘em-up funny. I tried going through my Woody Allen books, but that stuff is a bit too sardonic. I’d want something from a (well-written) science fiction or fantasy novel, but the source can’t be obvious. David Foster Wallace seems to be a good match, but I haven’t read enough of his stuff to get a good wedding-appropriate chunk.
So, any ideas? Feel free to ask more questions. This is the first time I am ever taking part in a wedding (and only the fourth wedding I have ever been to.)