Treasure this, jerkfaces! (very sorry nice but wimpy people)
August 31, 2011 6:53 AM Subscribe
A couple of friends and I thought it would be fun to form a film club for our local community. How wrong we were! But now I feel like I'm stuck and can't quit. Or can I?
I volunteered to be the treasurer for the film club and have been working hard at this role. We also have a hard-working secretary and, until recently a very good chair and publicity secretary. Our chair has recently been diagnosed with a very serious life-threatening illness and the publicity secretary is his partner. Both want to stay in their current roles in the club but want to take a step back in running things. We also have three members who do very little except complain and cause trouble. We used to have a projectionist who quit in a fury of disagreement with the other members (not myself) and took all his equipment and expertise with him.
I have just secured a significant amount of funding (around $10,000) which will be enough to buy all the equipment we need and for venue hire, film rights, publicity etc for the next year. This funding also carries a lot of requirements on how the money will be used, etc.
Before sending in the funding application I sent it around to everyone to check it and comment and we discussed it during meetings. At the time I explained that the group that was funding the club had certain requirements that would have to be met. For example, we have to spend the money on the items listed in the application and also if we accepted members under 18 such as criminal background checks, a policy on working with vulnerable populations, etc. etc.
I now have some people saying we should just buy our projector, etc used on ebay and spend the rest of the funding on other running costs. I don't think we should do this because we have to provide receipts to the funding body and to explain why the amounts differ from our projected costs in the application.
Also everyone previously agreed to restrict membership to 18+ (younger people can still attend the films, they just can't be members or volunteer to help us). Now that we have the funding some of the troublemaking do-nothing members want to go back on this decision.
No one but myself is standing up to the trouble-makers in insisting we do things according to the rules of the funding organisation. Therefore I feel I’m put in a position where all I do is work my tail off and then argue constantly with the other members and I get very little thanks for any of it.
There have been a lot of other arguments as well, someone made a huge fuss of me getting a list of people who had paid a yearly fee for my records, someone accused me of not paying my own fee, there were massive arguments and debates over which films to show, etc. The nasty people get away with it because the nice people are wimps who won't stand up for anything and just want to get along at all costs. It's therefore up to me to always be the voice of reason and I just don't want to do it anymore. But I can't let the accounts go to hell or go along with some of the things other members want to do that could be seen as fraudulent.
I just want to quit but I feel if I do I’ll leave the club in an even worse situation than they’re in now – no treasurer in addition to no projectionist and a seriously ill chair. Since no one has volunteered to take over for the projectionist I highly doubt anyone would volunteer to take over as the treasurer either and the whole thing might just fall apart. I would feel very guilty leaving the chair and his partner at this point. But I also feel guilty arguing all the time and I feel seriously stressed out about it. I joined this club to make friends and have fun but it’s turned out I’m making enemies and not enjoying it at all.
Please can the hive give me some advice on a) whether or not I should quit and b) how I can address the club members to get them to either help more or stop arguing and going back on decisions that have already been made and c) stop taking the whole thing so seriously that I’m getting anxiety attacks just thinking about the next meeting. Also if I’m in the wrong in any of my thinking please point it out to me as different perspectives would be very helpful. Thanks.
I volunteered to be the treasurer for the film club and have been working hard at this role. We also have a hard-working secretary and, until recently a very good chair and publicity secretary. Our chair has recently been diagnosed with a very serious life-threatening illness and the publicity secretary is his partner. Both want to stay in their current roles in the club but want to take a step back in running things. We also have three members who do very little except complain and cause trouble. We used to have a projectionist who quit in a fury of disagreement with the other members (not myself) and took all his equipment and expertise with him.
I have just secured a significant amount of funding (around $10,000) which will be enough to buy all the equipment we need and for venue hire, film rights, publicity etc for the next year. This funding also carries a lot of requirements on how the money will be used, etc.
Before sending in the funding application I sent it around to everyone to check it and comment and we discussed it during meetings. At the time I explained that the group that was funding the club had certain requirements that would have to be met. For example, we have to spend the money on the items listed in the application and also if we accepted members under 18 such as criminal background checks, a policy on working with vulnerable populations, etc. etc.
I now have some people saying we should just buy our projector, etc used on ebay and spend the rest of the funding on other running costs. I don't think we should do this because we have to provide receipts to the funding body and to explain why the amounts differ from our projected costs in the application.
Also everyone previously agreed to restrict membership to 18+ (younger people can still attend the films, they just can't be members or volunteer to help us). Now that we have the funding some of the troublemaking do-nothing members want to go back on this decision.
No one but myself is standing up to the trouble-makers in insisting we do things according to the rules of the funding organisation. Therefore I feel I’m put in a position where all I do is work my tail off and then argue constantly with the other members and I get very little thanks for any of it.
There have been a lot of other arguments as well, someone made a huge fuss of me getting a list of people who had paid a yearly fee for my records, someone accused me of not paying my own fee, there were massive arguments and debates over which films to show, etc. The nasty people get away with it because the nice people are wimps who won't stand up for anything and just want to get along at all costs. It's therefore up to me to always be the voice of reason and I just don't want to do it anymore. But I can't let the accounts go to hell or go along with some of the things other members want to do that could be seen as fraudulent.
I just want to quit but I feel if I do I’ll leave the club in an even worse situation than they’re in now – no treasurer in addition to no projectionist and a seriously ill chair. Since no one has volunteered to take over for the projectionist I highly doubt anyone would volunteer to take over as the treasurer either and the whole thing might just fall apart. I would feel very guilty leaving the chair and his partner at this point. But I also feel guilty arguing all the time and I feel seriously stressed out about it. I joined this club to make friends and have fun but it’s turned out I’m making enemies and not enjoying it at all.
Please can the hive give me some advice on a) whether or not I should quit and b) how I can address the club members to get them to either help more or stop arguing and going back on decisions that have already been made and c) stop taking the whole thing so seriously that I’m getting anxiety attacks just thinking about the next meeting. Also if I’m in the wrong in any of my thinking please point it out to me as different perspectives would be very helpful. Thanks.
Good lord, this is supposed to be fun, not work? Quit. OH my god, quit now. No one is indispensable, and if it falls apart without you that doesn't sound like a bad thing to me!! This sounds doomed anyway and if you leaving ends it before they can get in real trouble that just might be the best thing.
You can't get them to help more. People think offering their opinions IS helping. You want everyone to get along - well that's not always possible. You need a strong leader who can tell them what points are negotiable and which ones aren't. Honestly, with the leadership so distracted, I really think letting it go is best, you will be saving yourself nothing but aggravation and annoyance.
posted by lemniskate at 7:08 AM on August 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
You can't get them to help more. People think offering their opinions IS helping. You want everyone to get along - well that's not always possible. You need a strong leader who can tell them what points are negotiable and which ones aren't. Honestly, with the leadership so distracted, I really think letting it go is best, you will be saving yourself nothing but aggravation and annoyance.
posted by lemniskate at 7:08 AM on August 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
This is an extra-curricular activity that you sought out because it is fun for you, correct? It is no longer fun, and in fact causing you a great deal of anxiety. Why are you still doing it? These people can find someone else to abuse, you havezero obligation to keep things going in the face of anxiety attacks over an activity that is supposed to be FUN.
So, to sum up again: optional activity supposed to be fun and relaxing but is neither: Quit. Quit. Quit.
posted by LyndsayMW at 7:08 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
So, to sum up again: optional activity supposed to be fun and relaxing but is neither: Quit. Quit. Quit.
posted by LyndsayMW at 7:08 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
I think anyone who's ever been involved in running a volunteer organization will find your story familiar. I'm on the board at my church and some days the troublemakers and back-and-forth and the money issues make me want to throw up my hands. But then I remember, this is something I want to do, I believe in our church, and things that aren't going well are slowly but surely moving in the right direction. It's worth keeping in mind that nobody likes a martyr- if you can't stay involved with this organization unless you bitterly believe that you are the only one holding it together, you should quit, if only to prove to yourself that it's not true. Or maybe it is true- maybe the organization will completely fall apart without you. Is that OK? It might be- if you're not having fun and you don't want to be 100% responsible for everything, maybe letting it die is the best thing. That's your call.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:11 AM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:11 AM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
a) you should quit because these extra-curricular activities are supposed to be fun! it is clearly not the case when it comes to this film club. besides, you are starting to feel anxious and people are not being cooperative or helping share the workload to help ease the situation for you.
b) one thing that i've learned is that you cannot control other people's actions, you can only control your own. regardless of what you say, people will do their own thing in this club and team up against you by the sounds of it to prove a point. they are defensive and not worth your time or energy.
c) quitting will make you feel so much better and will hopefully remove the anxiety attacks.
i'm not sure if you are in school right now, but if you are then this additional stress is the last thing that you need. there should be other clubs on campus and off campus too that are art-related. i really hope things work out for you, it's unfortunate when jerkfaces make something that you were excited about emotionally demanding and unpleasant.
posted by sincerely-s at 7:15 AM on August 31, 2011
b) one thing that i've learned is that you cannot control other people's actions, you can only control your own. regardless of what you say, people will do their own thing in this club and team up against you by the sounds of it to prove a point. they are defensive and not worth your time or energy.
c) quitting will make you feel so much better and will hopefully remove the anxiety attacks.
i'm not sure if you are in school right now, but if you are then this additional stress is the last thing that you need. there should be other clubs on campus and off campus too that are art-related. i really hope things work out for you, it's unfortunate when jerkfaces make something that you were excited about emotionally demanding and unpleasant.
posted by sincerely-s at 7:15 AM on August 31, 2011
Check what the organization's responsibilities are to the funding organization - what happens if you don't use the money as you said you would? Do you have to pay it back? Who is on the hook? Do you have a board? (You wouldn't want to have to deal with angry funders long after you'd left the organization, so make sure that you know what happens if 1. the money is misused by others and 2. you leave.)
Do you think that you could get people to cooperate if you pointed out that the money can only be used under the terms you agreed to? It sounds like people don't understand how grants work - those terms aren't optional; they're binding. You can renegotiate sometimes, but you can't make up terms.
This is why IME film societies need to have paid staff - maybe not paid much, but something. (Speaking of which, do you think you could renegotiate the contract with the funders to get a monthly stipend? Would that convince someone to do this work?)
posted by Frowner at 7:18 AM on August 31, 2011
Do you think that you could get people to cooperate if you pointed out that the money can only be used under the terms you agreed to? It sounds like people don't understand how grants work - those terms aren't optional; they're binding. You can renegotiate sometimes, but you can't make up terms.
This is why IME film societies need to have paid staff - maybe not paid much, but something. (Speaking of which, do you think you could renegotiate the contract with the funders to get a monthly stipend? Would that convince someone to do this work?)
posted by Frowner at 7:18 AM on August 31, 2011
That sounds like my version of hell. What are you getting out of it? (Besides stress, of course).
You are under absolutely no obligation to stay. Please do announce your resignation at the next meeting.
It sounds like you are the one doing a large brunt of the work and it certainly sounds like there are few other members who are as invested in the club as you are (since no one seems to have volunteered to take over the empty positions). Additionally, the funding sounds like an absolute headache since every time you go to spend the money, it sounds like a battle will ensue between what the members want the money spent on and what the funding body wants the money spent on (though well done for getting it in the first place!).
You've help set up a club that seems popular and is able to attract funding - good work! Now, let it rise (or fall) on its own merits. You don't have to single-handedly save it. If you do enjoy being part of a film club, perhaps you could consider just being a member?
Anyone who's ever been in a position of leadership in a club or organisation should understand that there comes a point when you need a break. That is completely normal. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, 'I've learned a lot and [possibly] really enjoyed working with all of you. I need some time without the stress of leadership. I'll continue to be in this role until October and I'm happy to train my replacement.'
posted by brambory at 7:19 AM on August 31, 2011
You are under absolutely no obligation to stay. Please do announce your resignation at the next meeting.
It sounds like you are the one doing a large brunt of the work and it certainly sounds like there are few other members who are as invested in the club as you are (since no one seems to have volunteered to take over the empty positions). Additionally, the funding sounds like an absolute headache since every time you go to spend the money, it sounds like a battle will ensue between what the members want the money spent on and what the funding body wants the money spent on (though well done for getting it in the first place!).
You've help set up a club that seems popular and is able to attract funding - good work! Now, let it rise (or fall) on its own merits. You don't have to single-handedly save it. If you do enjoy being part of a film club, perhaps you could consider just being a member?
Anyone who's ever been in a position of leadership in a club or organisation should understand that there comes a point when you need a break. That is completely normal. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, 'I've learned a lot and [possibly] really enjoyed working with all of you. I need some time without the stress of leadership. I'll continue to be in this role until October and I'm happy to train my replacement.'
posted by brambory at 7:19 AM on August 31, 2011
(Oh, if worst came to worst you could probably set up a conference call or request a letter from the funder to get them to reiterate that you spend the money the way you wrote the grant - that would tip your hand about the disfunctionality of the group, though.)
posted by Frowner at 7:19 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Frowner at 7:19 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Give a reasonable amount of notice, and get out. It's just a film club. What's the worst thing that happens if it falls apart? Your town has no film club. Not a big deal in the greater scheme of things. If this were some thing that seriously impacted lives, like a zoning commission or a school board, I'd say it was worth the fight, but I wouldn't think that you should be losing sleep over this. I'm not saying this to to minimize the work you've done, but to try to give some outside perspective. When you're wrapped up in something like that, it can short out your personal perspective meter.
Go do something that's actually fun.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:23 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Go do something that's actually fun.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:23 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
As the Treasurer, it is your obligation to ensure that the money is either spent according to the grant making body's rules or returned. If you don't trust the members to spend it accordingly, return it before you leave the group. Yes, this will piss them off. But it's better than facing a lawsuit for misappropriated funds. It's not a case of taking your ball home and refusing to play; it is a case of adhering to a contractual agreement with your name on it.
posted by Capri at 7:34 AM on August 31, 2011 [17 favorites]
posted by Capri at 7:34 AM on August 31, 2011 [17 favorites]
If you decide to stay you need a functioning board. You'd chair can't decide to step back from their responsibilities but hold on to their title. Sounds like it is time for a "come to Jesus" talk with them where an acting Chair will take over their responsibilities. If there are no competent members willing and able to step in as Chair then yes, quitting is the only reasonable option.
posted by saucysault at 7:40 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by saucysault at 7:40 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
You need more allies here. Can you add board members? I agree with saucysalt that getting an acting chair would be another way to add friendly bodies. Can you talk to the wimpy people and see if they agree with you? They may be quiet because they've never thought the issue through, not because they refuse to speak up.
Also, you need a good decision-making process where decisions are made and then you move on. Then you can say, "mmm hmm. mmm hmmm. Well, thank you all for those thoughts, maybe we ought to give our current 18+ policy a little more thought before our next funding application but for right now--" and then move on under the plan that you all already voted on. In the meantime, if you're the one doing the work, pretty much your say goes. You can matter-of-factly say "that would save us money but unfortunately we have to buy it new per our agreement with the funders," and then just do it. Good luck. Get a board in place where you like the majority of the people, and get a decision-making process that works.
posted by salvia at 8:09 AM on August 31, 2011
Also, you need a good decision-making process where decisions are made and then you move on. Then you can say, "mmm hmm. mmm hmmm. Well, thank you all for those thoughts, maybe we ought to give our current 18+ policy a little more thought before our next funding application but for right now--" and then move on under the plan that you all already voted on. In the meantime, if you're the one doing the work, pretty much your say goes. You can matter-of-factly say "that would save us money but unfortunately we have to buy it new per our agreement with the funders," and then just do it. Good luck. Get a board in place where you like the majority of the people, and get a decision-making process that works.
posted by salvia at 8:09 AM on August 31, 2011
I agree you should return the money to the funding group.
You're not going to be able to stick this out through the next year. They don't want to adhere to the rules of the grant they agreed to.
The only ethical thing to do here is
return the funds - or at least notify the funding company that you are resigning as Treasurer over the intended misuse of these funds. After that, you officially resign.
If this group is as toxic and dysfunctional as you say, the the Chair and his partner don't need to be anywhere near this mess. The group will dissolve, but it was heading there, anyway. Jump ship. Encourage the Chair and his partner the same for the sake of their sanity and health.
Do the right thing. Don't be a party to an intended theft. You don't want to be in that position.
Resign.
posted by jbenben at 8:27 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
You're not going to be able to stick this out through the next year. They don't want to adhere to the rules of the grant they agreed to.
The only ethical thing to do here is
return the funds - or at least notify the funding company that you are resigning as Treasurer over the intended misuse of these funds. After that, you officially resign.
If this group is as toxic and dysfunctional as you say, the the Chair and his partner don't need to be anywhere near this mess. The group will dissolve, but it was heading there, anyway. Jump ship. Encourage the Chair and his partner the same for the sake of their sanity and health.
Do the right thing. Don't be a party to an intended theft. You don't want to be in that position.
Resign.
posted by jbenben at 8:27 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Quit already.
Let the nice wimps learn a hard lesson in not having your back.
Let the argumentatives cut each other to shreds.
Start up a movie/DVD night with the ill chair + parnter.
Get your sanity back.
posted by Chorus at 8:40 AM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
Let the nice wimps learn a hard lesson in not having your back.
Let the argumentatives cut each other to shreds.
Start up a movie/DVD night with the ill chair + parnter.
Get your sanity back.
posted by Chorus at 8:40 AM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
I'm with jbenben, and your cohorts are not responsible enough to see this through.
I just want to quit but I feel if I do I’ll leave the club in an even worse situation than they’re in now
What's worse than failure? Because that's what you have now, just with some money that needs to be returned. Let the loudmouths figure out how to keep things going, in addition to their self-imposed responsibility to undercut you.
"This was supposed to be fun. You people suck. I've returned the money. Goodbye."
posted by rhizome at 8:43 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
I just want to quit but I feel if I do I’ll leave the club in an even worse situation than they’re in now
What's worse than failure? Because that's what you have now, just with some money that needs to be returned. Let the loudmouths figure out how to keep things going, in addition to their self-imposed responsibility to undercut you.
"This was supposed to be fun. You people suck. I've returned the money. Goodbye."
posted by rhizome at 8:43 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Definitely quit, but make sure you will not be held accountable for the funder's money before you quit. Get it in writing from the funder.
posted by girlpublisher at 8:56 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by girlpublisher at 8:56 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Quit already. Let the nice wimps learn a hard lesson in not having your back. Let the argumentatives cut each other to shreds.
I do believe your political situation is worth thinking about. Are the inmates running the asylum? My board has, let's hypothetically say, 5 crazies, 5 passive people (flaky but good when they get on things) and 15 actively supportive people. If I didn't have a base of supportive people I knew I could count on to keep the organization moving in the right direction, if the crazies had a guaranteed majority to get whatever they wanted in every situation, I'd quit in a heartbeat.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:31 AM on August 31, 2011
I do believe your political situation is worth thinking about. Are the inmates running the asylum? My board has, let's hypothetically say, 5 crazies, 5 passive people (flaky but good when they get on things) and 15 actively supportive people. If I didn't have a base of supportive people I knew I could count on to keep the organization moving in the right direction, if the crazies had a guaranteed majority to get whatever they wanted in every situation, I'd quit in a heartbeat.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:31 AM on August 31, 2011
ha - I don't have anything to add to all the excellent advice above, but I want to let you know that I've been exactly where you are (dysfunctional film club and all) and would be happy to give you advice about anything specifically related to film stuff (finding a projectionist, booking stuff, etc), if that wuld make your life easier. MeMail me if you feel like it. Stay strong.
posted by bubukaba at 11:18 AM on August 31, 2011
posted by bubukaba at 11:18 AM on August 31, 2011
I've also been almost exactly where you are, and my final day with the organization is in 10 days (not that I'm counting...). I feel a bit guilty about leaving, since we've had other members leave this year and there aren't really enough people involved to do what we want to do. But the fighting and stress, over something I didn't feel very passionate about, was killing me inside. I gave notice way, way in advance, because I am friends with the remaining board members and felt terrible about leaving them with one fewer member. But, they're my friends -- they were very sympathetic and understanding. And, it turns out that we've found some new people who want to join who seem very sane and go-gettery, so it's all for the best.
I think you should quit. But first, take the opportunity to speak freely. You don't need to be nasty, but be frank about why you're leaving. It might nudge the passive people to speak up more. And yes, say that you'll at least help find a replacement, and train them. Then leave, with a clear conscience.
posted by chowflap at 1:17 PM on August 31, 2011
I think you should quit. But first, take the opportunity to speak freely. You don't need to be nasty, but be frank about why you're leaving. It might nudge the passive people to speak up more. And yes, say that you'll at least help find a replacement, and train them. Then leave, with a clear conscience.
posted by chowflap at 1:17 PM on August 31, 2011
a) Quitting
The important question is how much you care about the film club, and what it does; and whether you think its possible for it to get back on track. If you aren't that passionate about it, or think that the troublemakers are going to drive it into the ground, then there's no reason to let it keep making you miserable.
At the same time, I have to disagree a little with the people who say it's OK to quit just because it's no longer fun. Volunteering at the board/administration level of a nonprofit is likely to be frustrating, tiresome and very un-fun at times. People stick it out anyway because they believe the positive impact is worth the stress.
b) Other club members
I'm a volunteer grantwriter, and this is what I would do: make it very clear that there is no room for arguing over the 10K - it is not free money, and spending it on something other than the intended purpose is an unethical misuse of funds which will come with serious consequences, along the lines of what jbenben said.
Be blunt and dispassionate, don't try to be tactful. The nice ones and troublemakers alike should get the same message that you won't hesitate to report any misuse to the funder, and that you personally will resign if they continue with the plan. You don't want to be a hardass, but that may be the only thing that gets through to them.
c) Taking it seriously
I think you're right to take it seriously - this is your club, you're a co-founder, and you put in the effort to get a nice chunk of funding for it's work. Now other volunteers/members apparently don't feel like following the rules and are willing to destroy the club's repuation with the funder and possibly beyond.
Utimately, though, you aren't to blame if they do so and shouldn't feel guilty about what happens. At that point, you'd be doing the right thing to wash your hands of them and walk away.
posted by missix at 1:49 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
The important question is how much you care about the film club, and what it does; and whether you think its possible for it to get back on track. If you aren't that passionate about it, or think that the troublemakers are going to drive it into the ground, then there's no reason to let it keep making you miserable.
At the same time, I have to disagree a little with the people who say it's OK to quit just because it's no longer fun. Volunteering at the board/administration level of a nonprofit is likely to be frustrating, tiresome and very un-fun at times. People stick it out anyway because they believe the positive impact is worth the stress.
b) Other club members
I'm a volunteer grantwriter, and this is what I would do: make it very clear that there is no room for arguing over the 10K - it is not free money, and spending it on something other than the intended purpose is an unethical misuse of funds which will come with serious consequences, along the lines of what jbenben said.
Be blunt and dispassionate, don't try to be tactful. The nice ones and troublemakers alike should get the same message that you won't hesitate to report any misuse to the funder, and that you personally will resign if they continue with the plan. You don't want to be a hardass, but that may be the only thing that gets through to them.
c) Taking it seriously
I think you're right to take it seriously - this is your club, you're a co-founder, and you put in the effort to get a nice chunk of funding for it's work. Now other volunteers/members apparently don't feel like following the rules and are willing to destroy the club's repuation with the funder and possibly beyond.
Utimately, though, you aren't to blame if they do so and shouldn't feel guilty about what happens. At that point, you'd be doing the right thing to wash your hands of them and walk away.
posted by missix at 1:49 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
The club needs a more active and cohesive leadership, and you need that leadership team to be your posse, people who've got your back.
All those people who are nice enough, but passive? Call them up in between meetings, and chat. Ask them how they thing things are going, what they think is going on. Discuss problems that are bugging you. Point out ways that their lack of action is contributing to problems. Talk to everyone you'd consider reliable and goodnatured.
Then mentally select your dream team. Who could be the acting chair? Who could be the liason to the secretary and cover for that person when (s)he is busy with family/illness obligations? What other tasks need to be done, and who can you delegate? Don't just think of normal tasks, consider having a couple of friends whose entire job it is to keep a rein on Bob the crazy guy. Feed them the necessary info, and then whenever Bob suggests using the grant money on Craigslist child-safe steadicam mounts, you have someone (who is not you) who will immediately say in a horrified voice "oh, no! That's illegal!!" And you can simply back them up, instead of being the primary objector.
Is this rigging the system? Establishing an oligarchy? Bossing everybody around? Why yes, it is, but it's got to be done.
posted by aimedwander at 2:17 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
All those people who are nice enough, but passive? Call them up in between meetings, and chat. Ask them how they thing things are going, what they think is going on. Discuss problems that are bugging you. Point out ways that their lack of action is contributing to problems. Talk to everyone you'd consider reliable and goodnatured.
Then mentally select your dream team. Who could be the acting chair? Who could be the liason to the secretary and cover for that person when (s)he is busy with family/illness obligations? What other tasks need to be done, and who can you delegate? Don't just think of normal tasks, consider having a couple of friends whose entire job it is to keep a rein on Bob the crazy guy. Feed them the necessary info, and then whenever Bob suggests using the grant money on Craigslist child-safe steadicam mounts, you have someone (who is not you) who will immediately say in a horrified voice "oh, no! That's illegal!!" And you can simply back them up, instead of being the primary objector.
Is this rigging the system? Establishing an oligarchy? Bossing everybody around? Why yes, it is, but it's got to be done.
posted by aimedwander at 2:17 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
jbenben is right. Here is something to be concerned about: Will you personally be responsible if the funding organization wants their grant money returned? Did you have a lawyer draw up your charter? S/He would probably be willing to give you a quick answer. I ask this out of a situation Mr. Sunny was in. He ended up needing to resign due to legal liabilities.
posted by annsunny at 2:25 PM on August 31, 2011
posted by annsunny at 2:25 PM on August 31, 2011
By the way, funders realize that life changes and are not going to flip out at minor deviations from your budget, especially if you consult them about it. They might have rules like "new equipment only," in which case you're SOL, but their rule might be "equipment only," in which case you finding the same projector more cheaply and spending the remainder on other equipment would be fine. Just check with them.
Likewise teenagers. If you received an upsurge of volunteer interest from people under 18, you could possibly revise your agreement with the funders to meet those other requirements.
But I bet if you told the gripers that they'd have to do all the change-order paperwork (or take XYZ off your plate so that you could), they'd lose interest. :)
posted by salvia at 7:44 PM on August 31, 2011
Likewise teenagers. If you received an upsurge of volunteer interest from people under 18, you could possibly revise your agreement with the funders to meet those other requirements.
But I bet if you told the gripers that they'd have to do all the change-order paperwork (or take XYZ off your plate so that you could), they'd lose interest. :)
posted by salvia at 7:44 PM on August 31, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
So you need to decide if your friendship with the chair and secretary mean so much to you that you're willing to take on ALL the responsibilities, all the work, all the fights, all the funds management, everything. The club as you expected it to be when you volunteered to be treasurer no longer exists.
It's fine if you feel bad for walking away, knowing that there will be a mess in your wake. That's normal, even. But it's not good for you to sacrifice all your mental health over an activity that's supposed to be fun.
posted by headspace at 7:08 AM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]