In early June I accidentally found a pack of cigarettes in my girlfriend’s car when we were driving somewhere. We had been together for six months at that point and had moved in together a month prior. She confessed that she lied to me about smoking and had been a smoker for years prior to meeting me and that she would stop as of that day.
I understand that quitting smoking isn’t easy, especially after reading these highly informative
and eye-opening previous
AskMeFi threads on the matter. I even bought Allen Carr’s book
to read for myself so I could better understand what smokers go through.
Once I realized that she is a smoker, the signs (and her attempts to cover up the scent) became as plain as day to me. I was stunned that I hadn’t noticed it before and wondered how she kept it a secret from her family as well. I don’t like feeling betrayed and have had a hard time coming to terms with the lie.
As a non-smoker and someone who is particularly concerned with his own physical and mental well-being, not to mention that of my girlfriend, I want to help her in any way that I can to quit the habit.
She bought a few smoking cessation aids (lozenges, gum, etc) but still goes through the smoking cover-up theater each day when she gets home: rushing to the bathroom, using mouth wash, wiping off her face/neck/chest, and changing immediately. Her car still has cigarette ashes on the driver’s side and on the back seat from her in-car smoking.
Aside from the initial conversation when I found the cigarettes and when she bought the cessation aids, she doesn’t enter into any conversations about her smoking. If I bring it up, she reacts angrily and defensively.
I love her dearly am trying to stay positive, but I am at a loss for what else I can do to help her help herself.