Need Help Finding a daycare
July 26, 2011 10:54 AM Subscribe
Hello!
My husband and I found out we are pregnant. I have heard horror stories of new parents being on a waiting list for over a year for daycare. My husband and I both work and being a domestic engineer is not possible at this time. Relatives and friends are too far away to help with this situation.
I need advice from parents out there.
Is there a universal website for me to see day cares in my area with good/bad reviews? And how trust worthy would these reviews be?
I look forward to your answers.
Thank you!
Does either of your workplaces have an employee assistance program? Mine gave us a bunch of daycare referrals along with whether they had availability.
posted by mkb at 10:59 AM on July 26, 2011
posted by mkb at 10:59 AM on July 26, 2011
Yes, you need to post where you are. Resources are often specific to your area.
posted by procrastination at 10:59 AM on July 26, 2011
posted by procrastination at 10:59 AM on July 26, 2011
(There were a couple that had multi-year waits, but these centers were attached to organizations and gave their employees priority.)
posted by mkb at 10:59 AM on July 26, 2011
posted by mkb at 10:59 AM on July 26, 2011
Most states will have a department of early childhood eduction which can provide a list of licensed daycares. I've used both Care.com and Sittercity to find babysitters with success. Your local mothers group (often called "Mothers' Connection" or similar) will also be an excellent resource.
posted by libraryhead at 11:01 AM on July 26, 2011
posted by libraryhead at 11:01 AM on July 26, 2011
Try your state board of child and family services. Here in Ohio all licensed daycares are listed on one site, with their associated violations and followup, but not surprisingly, Job and Family Services does not have a review function. It also doesn't cover nannies, informal dayhome arrangements, etc.
My #1 piece of advice is to visit daycares and to talk to other parents.
Finally, kudos for thinking about this now. This is the time to get on waiting lists, not after the baby's born.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 11:01 AM on July 26, 2011
My #1 piece of advice is to visit daycares and to talk to other parents.
Finally, kudos for thinking about this now. This is the time to get on waiting lists, not after the baby's born.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 11:01 AM on July 26, 2011
don't know where you are, but in oklahoma licensed daycares are listed in a searchable database online. they tell where they are, how many kids they can take, what they are rated by the state, violations etc.
best thing is personal recommendations from people you know, though.
posted by domino at 11:03 AM on July 26, 2011
best thing is personal recommendations from people you know, though.
posted by domino at 11:03 AM on July 26, 2011
I would suggest a nanny. The cost for my nanny was close to what a quality day care in my area.
posted by beccaj at 11:08 AM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by beccaj at 11:08 AM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Is there a universal website for me to see day cares in my area with good/bad reviews?
No.
And how trust worthy would these reviews be?
Not very.
In general, parental stuff travels via word of mouth - for example, between playgroups. Also, there's no guarantee that a place that's good now will remain good once you need it. I can think of several examples in my area (San Francisco and north Peninsula) where the only thing that changed was the institution's director, and parents were fleeing the facility within weeks.
Consider alternatives, like nannies, nanny shares, au pairs, etc. Good luck.
posted by NoRelationToLea at 11:11 AM on July 26, 2011
No.
And how trust worthy would these reviews be?
Not very.
In general, parental stuff travels via word of mouth - for example, between playgroups. Also, there's no guarantee that a place that's good now will remain good once you need it. I can think of several examples in my area (San Francisco and north Peninsula) where the only thing that changed was the institution's director, and parents were fleeing the facility within weeks.
Consider alternatives, like nannies, nanny shares, au pairs, etc. Good luck.
posted by NoRelationToLea at 11:11 AM on July 26, 2011
If you are in Massachusetts, I can refer you to some places to help you look in general.
Most states will have a list of licensed daycare providers -- centers and in-home --- on their website somewhere. Though they can tricky to find sometimes.
Nannies and nanny-shares may be a little more difficult to find out about, but there are often agencies that conduct searches for people seeking a nanny-situation.
My suggestion is, once you are ready to reveal the pregnancy openly, talk to as many other parents in your area as you can. Ask them about their daycare settings --- any close to you, etc. I love being asked about my daycare, and I will refer anyone and everyone to them, but until really recently, most people found out about them through agency referrals and word of mouth. Just recently, they started advertising on Craig's List when a few kids dropped to part-time and left.
And for the record, it's usually centers that have long waiting lists. In-home daycares don't typically have super long waiting lists, though they may have a waiting list.
posted by zizzle at 11:17 AM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Most states will have a list of licensed daycare providers -- centers and in-home --- on their website somewhere. Though they can tricky to find sometimes.
Nannies and nanny-shares may be a little more difficult to find out about, but there are often agencies that conduct searches for people seeking a nanny-situation.
My suggestion is, once you are ready to reveal the pregnancy openly, talk to as many other parents in your area as you can. Ask them about their daycare settings --- any close to you, etc. I love being asked about my daycare, and I will refer anyone and everyone to them, but until really recently, most people found out about them through agency referrals and word of mouth. Just recently, they started advertising on Craig's List when a few kids dropped to part-time and left.
And for the record, it's usually centers that have long waiting lists. In-home daycares don't typically have super long waiting lists, though they may have a waiting list.
posted by zizzle at 11:17 AM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
There are places that have ridiculously long waiting lists, but they're not the only good daycares out there. I live in SF, where there seems to be a lot of anxiety over childcare wait lists but I never needed to be on one. I found a searchable site that lists all the registered daycares in the city. It included large facilities (I think the ones with long wait lists tend to fall in this category) as well as small family daycares (<8>
Definitely visit the daycares and you'll get a feel for what you like and don't like. If you find one you like, having an opening for your kid is a matter of timing.
posted by LemonOrange at 11:21 AM on July 26, 2011
Definitely visit the daycares and you'll get a feel for what you like and don't like. If you find one you like, having an opening for your kid is a matter of timing.
posted by LemonOrange at 11:21 AM on July 26, 2011
Primrose schools, while being 3-ring binder type operations, are the cleanest, brightest, most heavily insured daycare/schools that I found when doing research on them. They are a national (heavily regulated) franchise; there's bound to be one near you.
That said; for what Primrose costs, you could probably get a nanny, or certified babysitter to stay in your home while you're gone. Since babies need stimulation, but not actual school activities, I don't see that the Primrose educational advantage would really come into play until after the baby is verbal.
Good luck. I could never find anything that met my criteria for quality levels that was in a price range that made it make sense for our situation. (In other words; if I was spending 80% of my salary in daycare costs, transportation costs and work clothes cost, leaving the other 20% to be sucked up by restaurant or takeout food since I wouldn't have time to cook...it was a zero-sum game, and it made more sense for me to stay home and try to work as a freelancer when I could.)
But I'm in a rural area, and my choices for a secular solution were significantly limited to fairly expensive "schools" that accepted kids as young as 8 weeks. Your mileage may vary. I never heard of waiting lists that started a year out, but that may be true in Manhattan or LA. Unlikely in Podunk, USA though.
posted by dejah420 at 11:26 AM on July 26, 2011
That said; for what Primrose costs, you could probably get a nanny, or certified babysitter to stay in your home while you're gone. Since babies need stimulation, but not actual school activities, I don't see that the Primrose educational advantage would really come into play until after the baby is verbal.
Good luck. I could never find anything that met my criteria for quality levels that was in a price range that made it make sense for our situation. (In other words; if I was spending 80% of my salary in daycare costs, transportation costs and work clothes cost, leaving the other 20% to be sucked up by restaurant or takeout food since I wouldn't have time to cook...it was a zero-sum game, and it made more sense for me to stay home and try to work as a freelancer when I could.)
But I'm in a rural area, and my choices for a secular solution were significantly limited to fairly expensive "schools" that accepted kids as young as 8 weeks. Your mileage may vary. I never heard of waiting lists that started a year out, but that may be true in Manhattan or LA. Unlikely in Podunk, USA though.
posted by dejah420 at 11:26 AM on July 26, 2011
check your state/county site and they should have a list of licensed daycare providers... where i live in fairfax county va, they are very strict and keep good tabs on the providers...
posted by fozzie33 at 11:30 AM on July 26, 2011
posted by fozzie33 at 11:30 AM on July 26, 2011
On the bright side, even if there is a year waiting list for good daycare in your area, around the time you actually need the services (most places won't care for children under 3 months, IIRC), it will have been almost a year, assuming you're still in your first trimester.
posted by zug at 11:35 AM on July 26, 2011
posted by zug at 11:35 AM on July 26, 2011
Congratulations! Nthing all of the above. I panicked too when I found out that the center we had assumed we'd be using (attached to my work) had a multi-year wait-list. I panicked even more when I found out that the cost was more than our mortgage.
Once I calmed down this is what I learned:
1) Center-based daycare is often double the cost of in-home care, and comparable to what it costs to hire your own nanny.
2) We really much preferred family-owned in-home daycares to what was available in a center for an infant. These are one or several providers in a home caring for a smaller number of children. We've been with our current providers (a mother and her two adult daughters) for 2 years now and could not be happier. The group of kids has been stable that whole time, the children are adored and extremely well cared for. They are like family to us and our son is thriving and learning more than we expected for a child his age. These usually had little/no wait list, but quality does vary considerably. You'll want to visit a bunch and in person to get an idea of what's available. They usually will not accept a reservation more than a few months out from the start date, as it means less income.
3) Local list-servs, parent groups, friends, pediatricians etc. are all excellent resources for locating someone. Our state also maintains a database of all licensed providers in the state that we were able to search by location. Helped us to narrow down what we needed.
4) If you decide to go the nanny/au pair route, there are great services that will screen candidates for you. Sitter City is one online, but there are others. These are also good options and doing a nanny share (where you and one other family split the cost) often makes this an affordable option.
You are way ahead of the game considering where we were at this point. I promise it will all work out!
posted by goggie at 11:40 AM on July 26, 2011
Once I calmed down this is what I learned:
1) Center-based daycare is often double the cost of in-home care, and comparable to what it costs to hire your own nanny.
2) We really much preferred family-owned in-home daycares to what was available in a center for an infant. These are one or several providers in a home caring for a smaller number of children. We've been with our current providers (a mother and her two adult daughters) for 2 years now and could not be happier. The group of kids has been stable that whole time, the children are adored and extremely well cared for. They are like family to us and our son is thriving and learning more than we expected for a child his age. These usually had little/no wait list, but quality does vary considerably. You'll want to visit a bunch and in person to get an idea of what's available. They usually will not accept a reservation more than a few months out from the start date, as it means less income.
3) Local list-servs, parent groups, friends, pediatricians etc. are all excellent resources for locating someone. Our state also maintains a database of all licensed providers in the state that we were able to search by location. Helped us to narrow down what we needed.
4) If you decide to go the nanny/au pair route, there are great services that will screen candidates for you. Sitter City is one online, but there are others. These are also good options and doing a nanny share (where you and one other family split the cost) often makes this an affordable option.
You are way ahead of the game considering where we were at this point. I promise it will all work out!
posted by goggie at 11:40 AM on July 26, 2011
I agree that Primrose Schools are very good. Our local Primrose is owned by a pediatrician who feeds the kids from an on-site vegetable garden during the summer. We also toured the Goddard School and liked that as well. Both are very expensive.
You just need to start pounding the pavement, touring centers and interviewing the people that run them. With our local Primrose school, you can just show up anytime and request a tour. I would be suspicious of a center that didn't allow you to do that. Always go when there are kids at the daycare and monitor how the caregivers interact with them. Carry a clipboard with all of your interview/screening questions and take meticulous notes.
Your own research, your own observations, and your own intuition are far more valuable than any stranger's review.
posted by Ostara at 11:43 AM on July 26, 2011
You just need to start pounding the pavement, touring centers and interviewing the people that run them. With our local Primrose school, you can just show up anytime and request a tour. I would be suspicious of a center that didn't allow you to do that. Always go when there are kids at the daycare and monitor how the caregivers interact with them. Carry a clipboard with all of your interview/screening questions and take meticulous notes.
Your own research, your own observations, and your own intuition are far more valuable than any stranger's review.
posted by Ostara at 11:43 AM on July 26, 2011
Response by poster: Thank you Everyone for your advice. I am located in Crofton, MD.
I really appreciate everyone's responses. I really appreciate it!
posted by redandblue at 11:50 AM on July 26, 2011
I really appreciate everyone's responses. I really appreciate it!
posted by redandblue at 11:50 AM on July 26, 2011
Maryland definitely has a listing of licensed providers. Here's the link!
posted by goggie at 12:08 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by goggie at 12:08 PM on July 26, 2011
Okay, so you're in the DC metro area?
Daycare reviews around here occur on DC Urban Moms forums. I have found these to be fairly decent, but you'll want to search the archives for any particular daycare. But ASK REAL PEOPLE that you know. That's the best source for information.
Here's a search for Crofton.
Some things that you might want to consider:
- Do you want your child to be near your office or near your home?
Near office is nice because you might be able to breastfeed during the day rather than pump. The downside is commuting with a baby/toddler.
- Are you open to a nannyshare?
I found, in DC, that nannyshares are about the same price as a daycare center for much higher quality care.
-
posted by k8t at 12:13 PM on July 26, 2011
Daycare reviews around here occur on DC Urban Moms forums. I have found these to be fairly decent, but you'll want to search the archives for any particular daycare. But ASK REAL PEOPLE that you know. That's the best source for information.
Here's a search for Crofton.
Some things that you might want to consider:
- Do you want your child to be near your office or near your home?
Near office is nice because you might be able to breastfeed during the day rather than pump. The downside is commuting with a baby/toddler.
- Are you open to a nannyshare?
I found, in DC, that nannyshares are about the same price as a daycare center for much higher quality care.
-
posted by k8t at 12:13 PM on July 26, 2011
I would add to look for a NAEYC-accredited center, if you go for center-based care. The NAEYC website seems to be down at the moment for some unknown reason, but having been through the accreditation process twice at my kids' program, I can tell you that it is rigorous and goes far beyond what any state requires for licensing.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 12:23 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 12:23 PM on July 26, 2011
I'd go for a nanny rather than child care. Depending on where you are, it might be cheaper, and perhaps you could share with someone. Our nanny worked for us for 12 years, my kids went to visit her parents in Guatemala with her, and she was one of the best things that ever happened to our family.
posted by Ideefixe at 12:48 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by Ideefixe at 12:48 PM on July 26, 2011
How old will Baby Redandblue be when he/she starts daycare? When Baby Rabbit was born and I started looking at our options (I did not get on any lists beforehand) I just could not picture him at a center, there's like one adult for every three or four kids, and you can't hold more than one baby at once! I was going back to work when he was only ten weeks old, which is way young and they need a lot of attention at that age. I put an ad on care.com and found my sitter within a day. For less than it would have cost to send BR to a center, he had full-time one-on-one attention from a SAHM whose daughter was at school during the day. It was awesome.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 12:59 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by rabbitrabbit at 12:59 PM on July 26, 2011
Reviews will only get you so far and in most cases are specific to either the institution as a whole (ie not the class you baby will be in) or just a specific class (not referring to how the school is run as a whole).
When it comes down to it you'll need to hit the pavement and visit all the schools in your area (are you wanting a school close to work or home). You're leaving your baby with complete strangers...period! So all that matters is that you feel comfortable with the room teachers and how the school is run.
Try to find a school that keeps the teacher-child ratio below the state minimun (likely to cost more $$$). Find a school with cameras that you can log in and see your baby throughout the day. Find a place (specifically for the room the baby will be in) with a low turnover rate - if the teacher has been there awhile then it's likely a good thing. Ask the school if they can put you in touch with the PTA of other parents so you can ask them directly questions.
To save a spot you will likely need to place a deposit so you will definitely want to start looking maybe around 7 months (depending on when the baby will start).
I'm a parent of a 4.5 and 2 year old. Both in daycare since 3 months, and already a handful of daycares (fingers crossed this one will stick).
Congrats and don't let daycare bog you down, it will work itself out.
posted by doorsfan at 3:08 PM on July 26, 2011
When it comes down to it you'll need to hit the pavement and visit all the schools in your area (are you wanting a school close to work or home). You're leaving your baby with complete strangers...period! So all that matters is that you feel comfortable with the room teachers and how the school is run.
Try to find a school that keeps the teacher-child ratio below the state minimun (likely to cost more $$$). Find a school with cameras that you can log in and see your baby throughout the day. Find a place (specifically for the room the baby will be in) with a low turnover rate - if the teacher has been there awhile then it's likely a good thing. Ask the school if they can put you in touch with the PTA of other parents so you can ask them directly questions.
To save a spot you will likely need to place a deposit so you will definitely want to start looking maybe around 7 months (depending on when the baby will start).
I'm a parent of a 4.5 and 2 year old. Both in daycare since 3 months, and already a handful of daycares (fingers crossed this one will stick).
Congrats and don't let daycare bog you down, it will work itself out.
posted by doorsfan at 3:08 PM on July 26, 2011
Great advice here! I second k8t's suggestion to check out DC Urban Moms and the earlier suggestion to tap word of mouth. When I shopped around years ago, knowing few children in the area, I cold called my next door neighbor, who said "of course there's xxxx and also I couple of others. I checked out a bunch and went with xxxx.
posted by Measured Out my Life in Coffeespoons at 6:43 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by Measured Out my Life in Coffeespoons at 6:43 PM on July 26, 2011
Check out the NAEYC website for accredited day cares. There are also good ones that don't try for NAEYC accreditation, it's just a good place to start.
Our local community college has a day care referral service that includes listings of home-based care as well as centers.
Also try the Great Schools website, which includes "preschool"-type day cares, not just k-12. Some of these take infants and toddlers. There will be reviews in there.
And congratulations!
posted by Knowyournuts at 8:21 PM on July 26, 2011
Our local community college has a day care referral service that includes listings of home-based care as well as centers.
Also try the Great Schools website, which includes "preschool"-type day cares, not just k-12. Some of these take infants and toddlers. There will be reviews in there.
And congratulations!
posted by Knowyournuts at 8:21 PM on July 26, 2011
My wife works in daycare, in the DC suburbs. The only reliable way to find a decent daycare is a personal referral from somebody with kids currently at the daycare. A completely brilliant daycare center can go to hell virtually overnight with a change of director. Likewise, a place that kind of sucks will become good in a matter of weeks with a new director cleaning house and bringing in better staff.
So ask around with your neighbors, co-workers etc that have kids. There is no online solution to this problem.
posted by COD at 5:49 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
So ask around with your neighbors, co-workers etc that have kids. There is no online solution to this problem.
posted by COD at 5:49 AM on July 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you, Everyone. RedandBlue v2.0 is due March 29th, 2012. So I have time. My husband and I want to make the best informed decision and humbly appreciate all the positive feedback!
posted by redandblue at 6:33 AM on July 27, 2011
posted by redandblue at 6:33 AM on July 27, 2011
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So where are you? People may have specific recommendations, or there may be a website that's specific to your city or county.
posted by rtha at 10:57 AM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]