Wailing and gnashing of teeth
July 6, 2011 2:04 PM Subscribe
Cat adoption filter: should we take in a young feral who seems to have adopted us, or should we find a different kitten to bring into our home? Complicating details inside. Bit of a novella, apologies in advance for the length.
My girlfriend and I live in an apartment in a city with our miniature poodle. We both work, and we've been thinking for a while that it would be really nice to have a cat, not just because we love cats, but also because said kitty would give the dog someone to interact with while we were out.
There are a great many feral cats on our block, due mostly to the presence of one of our neighbors (who has ended up becoming sort of the villain of this little drama; more on that later) who puts out copious amounts of cat food. We're on good terms with this neighbor, but we're not really sure that she's doing the neighborhood cats a favor by feeding them. Far be it for me to deny a single, disabled woman the company of her feline friends, but she has at least four on the inside and about fourteen on the outside, and has confided in the past to me that she doesn't have money for vet bills or anything. She's also moving out soon, due to some legally-dubious but basically unrelated pressure from her landlord. Due to the sporadic care that the neighborhood ferals get, there are periodic explosions of kittens.
The most recent explosion of which I am aware happened about six months ago. One of the kittens from this latest batch is an orange tabby who has absolutely stolen the hearts of my girlfriend and me. He comes out nearly every time we walk the dog, seeming particularly interested in her (which would bode well for our plan to get our puppy a friend) but also letting us pet him and play with him and even pick him up. We know that he's been visiting the cat lady, so we assume some of this friendliness is her work. At the same time though, none of the other neighborhood ferals are nearly so curious and interested in us. He has even tried to come into our house on occasion, when we're sitting on the porch with the door open! He's absolutely a total sweetheart and while he's still a little bit wary about people at times, we think he has incredible potential to make a wonderful new addition to our little family.
We would like to adopt this cat. We have gone so far as to research the best of cat foods (Thank you, Ask-Mefites of yore, for your excellent advice. Wellness brand wet kitten formula it shall be!), the cost and availability of relevant veterinary procedures, and have even gone out and bought all of the necessary cat-keeping equipment. We were pretty much ready to take the little guy (we planned to name him Tyrion!) into our homes, but then things started to get complicated.
We stopped seeing "our" cat around for several days. We went out and searched for him, brought the poodle to entice him over, left out cat food on our porch to persuade him to visit, but nothing happened. We also stopped seeing the cat lady on her porch, whereas typically she spends about half the day out there in her wheelchair, watering her plants, reading romance novels, and feeding and petting the cats. When we did finally see him again, lo and behold but he was slipping out through her door from inside her house! We had come over to ask if she'd seen him about (she'd mentioned to me before that she thought he needed to be adopted, so we knew already that she had a special interest in him) and explained in a neighborly way that we'd been considering adopting him. We told her that we certainly didn't want to take him away for her since she'd apparently already adopted him herself, but that we were glad to see he was OK and all.
She replied that she'd been bringing him inside some and that she was attached to all of her ferals, but that she wouldn't mind letting us take him since she knew that he would be going to a good home! Hooray, right? Except that she then added that she didn't think he would be happy being an indoor-only cat, and that he was very attached to his brother (earlier litter, same mom) and she would hate to see them separated.
We sort of have a feeling that she was trying to say without saying that she didn't want to let go of him, and from our previous interactions with the lady we know that she can be a bit passive-agressive and weird, not to mention more than a bit judgmental. She's also the neighborhood gossip, though I'm not sure too many people pay much mind to her opinions. She's been nice enough to us though and it's good to have someone out on the porch all the time who's watching the neighborhood and relaying any significant information about what's been happening on the block. (We figure she probably noticed us getting friendly with "her" cat and started bringing him inside as a defensive measure, to prevent us from scooping him up.) We don't really want to be on her bad side, though of course she's not going to be around forever. Also, when she does leave, we don't really know whether she would be able to take him with her. He might just end up homeless again, except without a reliable food source this time.
Also, perhaps her reservations have some merit. We do sometimes see the two cats ("our" cat and his older brother) hanging around together, and he's lived outside for pretty much all of his life, so perhaps he would indeed not be satisfied with a life indoors with us, no matter how well-fed and cared-for. (We don't think that we have the space or resources for two cats and a dog, by the way. And we don't feel that keeping indoor-outdoor cats, especially ex-ferals, in a city is really a great idea. The mortality rates are so much higher, they kill songbirds, and besides he might decide not to come back!) He sure does seem to like us, though. And we sure do like him.
We're a bit torn about what to do here. We're thinking about just going to Craigslist and finding another cat to adopt. After all, there are many kittens and cats in this world who are in need of homes, and we'll never be able to take in all of them. Who are we to say that our kitty is more deserving than some other? And perhaps we would be able to find another cat who would be a better fit with our family – more comfortable indoors, for instance – though that's so unpredictable that it's almost not worth trying to figure out at such an early stage. And we would be able to avoid drawing the ire of our neighbor.
On the other hand, we love the kitty we have been seeing already, and would feel a bit guilty about getting another cat – especially if our neighbor moves away and leaves him behind, though we know we'd be able to give him a higher standard of care in any case. And we're not sure how much we really value this woman's opinion of us, in the end. There's still the issue of whether he'd really be happy with us, but honestly I think that after some initial adjustment he'd probably do just fine.
So what, O Great Metafilter Hive-Mind, are we to do? How best do we proceed in this sticky situation? Guidance, counsel, anecdotes, and advice are all greatly appreciated regarding this most delicate and earth-shaking of dilemmas. Our gratitude to you is, as ever, unending, boundless, and redeemable for store credit at over thirty major national retail chains.
My girlfriend and I live in an apartment in a city with our miniature poodle. We both work, and we've been thinking for a while that it would be really nice to have a cat, not just because we love cats, but also because said kitty would give the dog someone to interact with while we were out.
There are a great many feral cats on our block, due mostly to the presence of one of our neighbors (who has ended up becoming sort of the villain of this little drama; more on that later) who puts out copious amounts of cat food. We're on good terms with this neighbor, but we're not really sure that she's doing the neighborhood cats a favor by feeding them. Far be it for me to deny a single, disabled woman the company of her feline friends, but she has at least four on the inside and about fourteen on the outside, and has confided in the past to me that she doesn't have money for vet bills or anything. She's also moving out soon, due to some legally-dubious but basically unrelated pressure from her landlord. Due to the sporadic care that the neighborhood ferals get, there are periodic explosions of kittens.
The most recent explosion of which I am aware happened about six months ago. One of the kittens from this latest batch is an orange tabby who has absolutely stolen the hearts of my girlfriend and me. He comes out nearly every time we walk the dog, seeming particularly interested in her (which would bode well for our plan to get our puppy a friend) but also letting us pet him and play with him and even pick him up. We know that he's been visiting the cat lady, so we assume some of this friendliness is her work. At the same time though, none of the other neighborhood ferals are nearly so curious and interested in us. He has even tried to come into our house on occasion, when we're sitting on the porch with the door open! He's absolutely a total sweetheart and while he's still a little bit wary about people at times, we think he has incredible potential to make a wonderful new addition to our little family.
We would like to adopt this cat. We have gone so far as to research the best of cat foods (Thank you, Ask-Mefites of yore, for your excellent advice. Wellness brand wet kitten formula it shall be!), the cost and availability of relevant veterinary procedures, and have even gone out and bought all of the necessary cat-keeping equipment. We were pretty much ready to take the little guy (we planned to name him Tyrion!) into our homes, but then things started to get complicated.
We stopped seeing "our" cat around for several days. We went out and searched for him, brought the poodle to entice him over, left out cat food on our porch to persuade him to visit, but nothing happened. We also stopped seeing the cat lady on her porch, whereas typically she spends about half the day out there in her wheelchair, watering her plants, reading romance novels, and feeding and petting the cats. When we did finally see him again, lo and behold but he was slipping out through her door from inside her house! We had come over to ask if she'd seen him about (she'd mentioned to me before that she thought he needed to be adopted, so we knew already that she had a special interest in him) and explained in a neighborly way that we'd been considering adopting him. We told her that we certainly didn't want to take him away for her since she'd apparently already adopted him herself, but that we were glad to see he was OK and all.
She replied that she'd been bringing him inside some and that she was attached to all of her ferals, but that she wouldn't mind letting us take him since she knew that he would be going to a good home! Hooray, right? Except that she then added that she didn't think he would be happy being an indoor-only cat, and that he was very attached to his brother (earlier litter, same mom) and she would hate to see them separated.
We sort of have a feeling that she was trying to say without saying that she didn't want to let go of him, and from our previous interactions with the lady we know that she can be a bit passive-agressive and weird, not to mention more than a bit judgmental. She's also the neighborhood gossip, though I'm not sure too many people pay much mind to her opinions. She's been nice enough to us though and it's good to have someone out on the porch all the time who's watching the neighborhood and relaying any significant information about what's been happening on the block. (We figure she probably noticed us getting friendly with "her" cat and started bringing him inside as a defensive measure, to prevent us from scooping him up.) We don't really want to be on her bad side, though of course she's not going to be around forever. Also, when she does leave, we don't really know whether she would be able to take him with her. He might just end up homeless again, except without a reliable food source this time.
Also, perhaps her reservations have some merit. We do sometimes see the two cats ("our" cat and his older brother) hanging around together, and he's lived outside for pretty much all of his life, so perhaps he would indeed not be satisfied with a life indoors with us, no matter how well-fed and cared-for. (We don't think that we have the space or resources for two cats and a dog, by the way. And we don't feel that keeping indoor-outdoor cats, especially ex-ferals, in a city is really a great idea. The mortality rates are so much higher, they kill songbirds, and besides he might decide not to come back!) He sure does seem to like us, though. And we sure do like him.
We're a bit torn about what to do here. We're thinking about just going to Craigslist and finding another cat to adopt. After all, there are many kittens and cats in this world who are in need of homes, and we'll never be able to take in all of them. Who are we to say that our kitty is more deserving than some other? And perhaps we would be able to find another cat who would be a better fit with our family – more comfortable indoors, for instance – though that's so unpredictable that it's almost not worth trying to figure out at such an early stage. And we would be able to avoid drawing the ire of our neighbor.
On the other hand, we love the kitty we have been seeing already, and would feel a bit guilty about getting another cat – especially if our neighbor moves away and leaves him behind, though we know we'd be able to give him a higher standard of care in any case. And we're not sure how much we really value this woman's opinion of us, in the end. There's still the issue of whether he'd really be happy with us, but honestly I think that after some initial adjustment he'd probably do just fine.
So what, O Great Metafilter Hive-Mind, are we to do? How best do we proceed in this sticky situation? Guidance, counsel, anecdotes, and advice are all greatly appreciated regarding this most delicate and earth-shaking of dilemmas. Our gratitude to you is, as ever, unending, boundless, and redeemable for store credit at over thirty major national retail chains.
Best answer: Dude, I'd just take the cat. He's not an aged, battle-scarred tomcat who has been living on the streets for a decade and can never adjust to indoor-living. Just get him his shots and get him neutered and stop him from running out the door, and he will adjust to being an indoor cat in time.
Also, keep him inside because otherwise I bet he ends up back at cat lady's house again.
Be polite with the cat lady, and maybe be extra appreciative about her "giving" you the cat and how much he has enriched your lives, but once you've started paying his vet bills and feeding him, it's really none of her business.
posted by little cow make small moo at 2:13 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, keep him inside because otherwise I bet he ends up back at cat lady's house again.
Be polite with the cat lady, and maybe be extra appreciative about her "giving" you the cat and how much he has enriched your lives, but once you've started paying his vet bills and feeding him, it's really none of her business.
posted by little cow make small moo at 2:13 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Take in your neighborhood kitty. You already know he likes you, and you like him. I've assisted in the rescue of three friendly street cats, and all of them adjusted well to living indoors.
(And once this lady leaves, you rught want to hook up with a TNR organization to at least get the strays fixed and stop the kitten explosions.)
posted by Mavri at 2:15 PM on July 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
(And once this lady leaves, you rught want to hook up with a TNR organization to at least get the strays fixed and stop the kitten explosions.)
posted by Mavri at 2:15 PM on July 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
I do not have cats, and I have no experience with ferals, but I honestly don't see why you wouldn't adopt the little guy. He's not your neighbors, so this isn't her call. It sounds like he's probably young enough to adjust to general life changes. Worst case scenario is that the cat lady bad-talks you to your neighbors for a while, and they patiently nod their heads and ignore her. Then she moves away. If she confronts you on it, explain that you have the cat's best interest at heart, that you'll do your absolute best to make sure he's happy as a single indoor cat, etc. She can't argue with that, can she? Post pics when you can!
posted by specialagentwebb at 2:16 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by specialagentwebb at 2:16 PM on July 6, 2011
Yep, the cat has already adopted you, and the outgoing neighborhood cat lady is just muddying those waters, because she's crazy. Indoor cats live long and happy lives. Don't take cat care instructions from a crazy person, and go get your kitty--today! (If his brother misses him that much, he'll seek you out and then you can have two semi-feral cats. Also, pictures.)
posted by Scram at 2:16 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by Scram at 2:16 PM on July 6, 2011
Yeah, just take him. Your neighbor is leaving, anyway (this is also how we got our cats, although our neighbor is sort of the opposite of yours in terms of responsibility and wouldn't even let us take our cats until she'd had them fixed at the low-cost SPCA vet).
posted by infinitywaltz at 2:25 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by infinitywaltz at 2:25 PM on July 6, 2011
Would it be a bad idea to offer her a small "adoption fee" to cover her cat food expenses, and a bouquet as a thank-you for helping you to have a new pet orange tabby kitty? It might soften her reservations.
posted by peagood at 2:25 PM on July 6, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by peagood at 2:25 PM on July 6, 2011 [7 favorites]
Take him -- please, take him! It would be doing something really good for him.
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:27 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:27 PM on July 6, 2011
Best answer: Try not to anthropomorphize the little guy w/r/t his litter mate. He's used to having another furry thing nearby; it's more than likely your poodle will meet those needs for him. He's not going to "remember" his brother or feel sad that they're not together. I understand and applaud you for knowing your limits regarding vet bills, etc.
He clearly likes you and you like him. Take the neighborhood lady out of the equation and there's no problem, right? She doesn't own the kitty and you want to. You have the resources to do so, so go get him and do not worry about what the neighborhood lady wants or doesn't want. She doesn't get a vote in this, in my opinion.
Here's what I would do. I would scoop him up the next time I saw him and treat him as mine; take him to the vet, get him acclimated to the home and the dog, love him, etc. If the neighbor lady asks you if you've seen him, just say, "Yep! We brought him home. He's really happy and so are we. He's a great fit for our family!" and just walk away.
I would also expect an update to this post that included pictures of Tyrion. After all, we can't be sure he's happy with you unless we see proof.
Congratulations!
posted by cooker girl at 2:33 PM on July 6, 2011 [6 favorites]
He clearly likes you and you like him. Take the neighborhood lady out of the equation and there's no problem, right? She doesn't own the kitty and you want to. You have the resources to do so, so go get him and do not worry about what the neighborhood lady wants or doesn't want. She doesn't get a vote in this, in my opinion.
Here's what I would do. I would scoop him up the next time I saw him and treat him as mine; take him to the vet, get him acclimated to the home and the dog, love him, etc. If the neighbor lady asks you if you've seen him, just say, "Yep! We brought him home. He's really happy and so are we. He's a great fit for our family!" and just walk away.
I would also expect an update to this post that included pictures of Tyrion. After all, we can't be sure he's happy with you unless we see proof.
Congratulations!
posted by cooker girl at 2:33 PM on July 6, 2011 [6 favorites]
I missed that you'd already named him. Yep, he's yours. Go get him!
posted by Mavri at 2:37 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by Mavri at 2:37 PM on July 6, 2011
Take him and don't look back.
Those cats at the shelter and on Craigslist have people looking out for them and this one doesn't. Left on the street or with the neighbour its not going to have a happy life. The neighbour doesn't count because she clearly doesn't have the resources to care for the cats she already has.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 2:39 PM on July 6, 2011
Those cats at the shelter and on Craigslist have people looking out for them and this one doesn't. Left on the street or with the neighbour its not going to have a happy life. The neighbour doesn't count because she clearly doesn't have the resources to care for the cats she already has.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 2:39 PM on July 6, 2011
You already have a relationship with this cat and I can tell from your tone that you don't really want to adopt another cat, just this one. So adopt him.
There's a good chance that he'll adapt pretty well to being indoors. The cats that I have known are almost freakishly adaptable (there are exceptions, and maybe yours is one of them, but maybe not. Give him a warm place to snooze and he likely won't give a hoot).
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 2:51 PM on July 6, 2011
There's a good chance that he'll adapt pretty well to being indoors. The cats that I have known are almost freakishly adaptable (there are exceptions, and maybe yours is one of them, but maybe not. Give him a warm place to snooze and he likely won't give a hoot).
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 2:51 PM on July 6, 2011
Take the cat. The cat lady has just gotten a little over protective of the ferals she cares for and is over thinking things. I'm a dog person who rescues. I have cat people friends who rescue. We all get overly protective of them. It's not totally in our or the pet's best interest, as well meaning as we are.
He will be just fine inside with you.
posted by Vaike at 2:55 PM on July 6, 2011
He will be just fine inside with you.
posted by Vaike at 2:55 PM on July 6, 2011
Take him and his friend. Virtually every Ask.Me on cat adoption suggest adopting two.
Also, name his brother Jamie.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:57 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, name his brother Jamie.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:57 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Look, he's asking to move in with you, just submit. They choose their own homes.
posted by tel3path at 3:27 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by tel3path at 3:27 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
There's a MeFi saying about overthinking a plate of beans. You're overthinking this. It's as much your cat as hers, and if you love it, then tell her you love it and have a home for it, with vet care. If you can take cat #2, fine. Be nice to crazy cat neighbor, but don't give her so much importance.
I had neighbors who fed their cat outside, and also fed raccoons, possums and squirrels, and possibly rats. Not a great thing to do, really.
posted by theora55 at 3:46 PM on July 6, 2011
I had neighbors who fed their cat outside, and also fed raccoons, possums and squirrels, and possibly rats. Not a great thing to do, really.
posted by theora55 at 3:46 PM on July 6, 2011
My feral cat chose me. She grew to about six months of age in a parking lot where a lot of electrical gear was stored. She would come to me every time I drove up, went outside to have lunch, or got in my car. One fine day I put her in the car, drove home (meow Meow MEOW!), and hoped.
Fourteen years and a couple of moves later she is still with us. Since the third day she was with us the routine has not varied: in the morning I open her window and she goes in and out as she pleases all day. In the evening she comes inside and I close the window. She has the run of our property (very rural) and she's a good mouser. She's brought us a lot of delight. I say keep the feral.
posted by jet_silver at 3:47 PM on July 6, 2011
Fourteen years and a couple of moves later she is still with us. Since the third day she was with us the routine has not varied: in the morning I open her window and she goes in and out as she pleases all day. In the evening she comes inside and I close the window. She has the run of our property (very rural) and she's a good mouser. She's brought us a lot of delight. I say keep the feral.
posted by jet_silver at 3:47 PM on July 6, 2011
You say kitten likes your dog? Take him. Do not delay. Walk out that door right now with an open can of tuna and make some magic. I say this as a person who adopted a poodle (actually a bichon-poo but who's counting) while already having 4 cats in the family -- one of which had to be rehomed because he couldn't handle his dog-related anxiety, and the other three have been secretly plotting dog's demise for the past 3 years. It is not common to find a cat who likes dogs. This is the cat for you.
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 3:57 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 3:57 PM on July 6, 2011
Add my voice to the chorus of "GO GET HIM"s.
posted by TooFewShoes at 4:00 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by TooFewShoes at 4:00 PM on July 6, 2011
I hope the span of time since you posted means that you're out fetching your orange tabby home now. It is absolutely the right thing to do, without hesitation.
posted by vers at 4:08 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by vers at 4:08 PM on July 6, 2011
He's already chosen you and your GF AND your dog, you and your GF and your dog all love him back: go get your kitty!
(and give us photos!)
posted by easily confused at 4:17 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
(and give us photos!)
posted by easily confused at 4:17 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: So I went out and enticed him over with a string of mardi gras beads, and I scooped him up and, he, um, bit me. He bit me and scratched me and then when I put him down he ran under a car. I went home and cleaned up my hand and now I'm typing this and wondering what I should do next. Even if I did have him, my girlfriend doesn't really want to keep him in a cat carrier overnight and we don't think that we could give him the run of the apartment since we don't want to expose the dog to him. I'd lock him in the bathroom, but we'd still worry about fleas.
I guess what I'm saying is that there are clearly some logistical concerns here which I had been blissfully unaware of until the critical moment came. Assuming that I am able to gain his trust again, what do you suppose I should do?
posted by Scientist at 4:18 PM on July 6, 2011
I guess what I'm saying is that there are clearly some logistical concerns here which I had been blissfully unaware of until the critical moment came. Assuming that I am able to gain his trust again, what do you suppose I should do?
posted by Scientist at 4:18 PM on July 6, 2011
Response by poster: Oh! I should say that I don't intend to make him live in the bathroom, or anything. Just that until he's been to the vet I don't want him around the dog.
posted by Scientist at 4:22 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by Scientist at 4:22 PM on July 6, 2011
Best answer: Confine him in a small space like a bathroom or spare bedroom if you can - with his food, water, litter, a bed and some toys. Cats really feel much more secure if they are confined to a smaller space when they are brought into a new territory.
When he is confined, come in and talk to him, sit by him, but don't force your attentions on him. Let him come to you.
When you are not in the room, play soothing music or a talk radio setting on very low, to get him used to human voices. Get a Feliway Plug-In - it works magic for getting cats to calm down.
Especially with a former feral, it's best to take it slow.
And nuts to the neighborhood cat lady. Many collector/hoarders get weird and possessive of their animals - now this kitty is yours, not hers, so don't let her try to bully you. It's fine to say "We've given him a new home, he's named X, he's doing great, thank you for raising him" but don't let her act as if she's still the owner.
Once she moves out, you might want to contact Alley Cat Allies, a feral cat advocacy group, for help in trapping, neutering and relocating, if necessary, all those cats she has running around. It's terribly irresponsible, IMO, to just feed ferals without neutering them; but trapping and neutering can be a real pain and a difficult endeavor - ACA can really help.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 4:29 PM on July 6, 2011
When he is confined, come in and talk to him, sit by him, but don't force your attentions on him. Let him come to you.
When you are not in the room, play soothing music or a talk radio setting on very low, to get him used to human voices. Get a Feliway Plug-In - it works magic for getting cats to calm down.
Especially with a former feral, it's best to take it slow.
And nuts to the neighborhood cat lady. Many collector/hoarders get weird and possessive of their animals - now this kitty is yours, not hers, so don't let her try to bully you. It's fine to say "We've given him a new home, he's named X, he's doing great, thank you for raising him" but don't let her act as if she's still the owner.
Once she moves out, you might want to contact Alley Cat Allies, a feral cat advocacy group, for help in trapping, neutering and relocating, if necessary, all those cats she has running around. It's terribly irresponsible, IMO, to just feed ferals without neutering them; but trapping and neutering can be a real pain and a difficult endeavor - ACA can really help.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 4:29 PM on July 6, 2011
It sounds like your dog and Tyrion already know each other and get along, and that is a huge advantage. HUGE. You might not get that same dog-friendliness with any old Craigslist Q. Kitten. Besides, with a dog to play with, he probably won't miss his brother as much as you think he might. Adopt the brother if you really want, but they'll get over being separated and don't let the lady guilt you.
As for whether he'll be fine staying indoors, he's young so it's likely. Our cat (obligatory video) was a young adult stray when we took him in. There was some nighttime whining at the window at first, but after we got him neutered he's been totally happy indoors, and hasn't once tried to make a break for it.
Here's my AskMe about gaining our cat's trust and getting him inside; it may help you considering your recent follow-up.
Since Tyrion lives outside with a bunch of other cats, there's a possibility he's been exposed to disease, so get him checked.
Also, not to freak you out, but if he bit you and it broke the skin, see a doctor. Cat bites can be full of nasty stuff. Rabies might be a concern, too - it's rare, but keep an eye out for any changes in his behavior.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:31 PM on July 6, 2011
As for whether he'll be fine staying indoors, he's young so it's likely. Our cat (obligatory video) was a young adult stray when we took him in. There was some nighttime whining at the window at first, but after we got him neutered he's been totally happy indoors, and hasn't once tried to make a break for it.
Here's my AskMe about gaining our cat's trust and getting him inside; it may help you considering your recent follow-up.
Since Tyrion lives outside with a bunch of other cats, there's a possibility he's been exposed to disease, so get him checked.
Also, not to freak you out, but if he bit you and it broke the skin, see a doctor. Cat bites can be full of nasty stuff. Rabies might be a concern, too - it's rare, but keep an eye out for any changes in his behavior.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:31 PM on July 6, 2011
Best answer: Next time you try to pick him up wear gloves and long sleeves. Have GF ready with the cat carrier. Do this right before you plan to take him to the vet. (Give yourself plenty of time though.)
Tyrion probably isn't used to being picked up. Would you like it if a giant (even a friendly one) all of a sudden lifted you into the air?
If you think you can trick him you could also try putting yummy foods inside the carrier and shutting it when he gets in. YMMV.
Just like getting a new cat he'll need an adjustment time to your house. He might even act like he hates you for awhile. Don't let that deter you.
posted by TooFewShoes at 4:31 PM on July 6, 2011
Tyrion probably isn't used to being picked up. Would you like it if a giant (even a friendly one) all of a sudden lifted you into the air?
If you think you can trick him you could also try putting yummy foods inside the carrier and shutting it when he gets in. YMMV.
Just like getting a new cat he'll need an adjustment time to your house. He might even act like he hates you for awhile. Don't let that deter you.
posted by TooFewShoes at 4:31 PM on July 6, 2011
Step 1: Cat food in bathroom. Ditto soft towel you don't care about.
Step 2: Go get cat. Wear long sleeves and gloves. (see footnote)
Step 3: Go get flea stuff. Up to you whether you wash him today or give him a few hours to settle down.
Footnote: Cate bitey-ness, particularly feral cat bitey-ness, does not accurately prognosticate how well the cat will be as an indoor cat. We've had our (formerly) feral cat for three years. When we first got him we had to put him in a kittie bondage bag to clip his nails, and he would randomly decide he was hunting prey and our legs were prey and he would bite HARD.
Fast-forward three years. We haven't done anything in particular to gentle him except for just love him in a steady, affectionate way. We do spray him with a squirt bottle to deter particularly offensive behaviors, but haven't had to spray for a year or two.
He is a love muffin. He snuggles with me in bed, and allows me to hug him like a teddy bear while we both are asleep at night or lazy in the morning. He is the best cat ever. And when I first met him, he bit me hard enough that I bled all over the floor. So. . . give your feral a chance! I think s/he will calm down given steady affection, food, space, and time.
posted by arnicae at 4:34 PM on July 6, 2011
Step 2: Go get cat. Wear long sleeves and gloves. (see footnote)
Step 3: Go get flea stuff. Up to you whether you wash him today or give him a few hours to settle down.
Footnote: Cate bitey-ness, particularly feral cat bitey-ness, does not accurately prognosticate how well the cat will be as an indoor cat. We've had our (formerly) feral cat for three years. When we first got him we had to put him in a kittie bondage bag to clip his nails, and he would randomly decide he was hunting prey and our legs were prey and he would bite HARD.
Fast-forward three years. We haven't done anything in particular to gentle him except for just love him in a steady, affectionate way. We do spray him with a squirt bottle to deter particularly offensive behaviors, but haven't had to spray for a year or two.
He is a love muffin. He snuggles with me in bed, and allows me to hug him like a teddy bear while we both are asleep at night or lazy in the morning. He is the best cat ever. And when I first met him, he bit me hard enough that I bled all over the floor. So. . . give your feral a chance! I think s/he will calm down given steady affection, food, space, and time.
posted by arnicae at 4:34 PM on July 6, 2011
Oh, and I clip his nails by flipping him (gently) onto his back. He just lies there and lets me do it, then gets treats afterwards.
As opposed to three years ago when there was yowling and scratching and biting and clawing up the ying-yang.
posted by arnicae at 4:34 PM on July 6, 2011
As opposed to three years ago when there was yowling and scratching and biting and clawing up the ying-yang.
posted by arnicae at 4:34 PM on July 6, 2011
When my husband & I adopted our semiferal orange tabby, Sol, we were visiting my parents out of state. We found the kitten then drove him directly from his momma's place to a local vet -- who took us in for an exam and shots even though we didn't have an appointment (after we explained we were visiting but had to spend the weekend at parent's house with their pets). After the vet, we then drove directly to a store where one of us stayed in the car with the kitten while the other went in to buy kitten-safe flea shampoo and a washtub, then drove home. We did not release the kitten from our arms or the car at any point... upon parking in the driveway one of us held the kitten while the other filled the washtub with water from the hose then we gave Sol his very first flea bath. We were very thorough about that flea bath! Rinsed & dried him off while still outdoors, played with him in the sun for a while & verified - yep, looks like fleas were gone. Then brought him indoors to play with parents' other pets and never looked back. No fleas or other ickies got spread. Sol hasn't been outdoors since then, 12 years ago. So yeah... go get some flea shampoo & a bucket or tub to wash him out in your yard. Once you catch kitty you can toss him immediately into the flea bath, and that should make him safe to keep in your bathroom until you can get to the vet for shots & de-worming.
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 4:36 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 4:36 PM on July 6, 2011
He's never been picked up before. When I had to grab a friendly street cat, I put on some gloves, got some yummy smelling food to entice her, and just scooted her into a carrier before she knew what had happened. If you're worried about keeping him in your home before he's been medicated for fleas, make a vet appt for a time around when you usually see the cat, and get him into a carrier and off to a vet. Put a sheet over the carrier to keep him calm.
posted by Mavri at 4:39 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by Mavri at 4:39 PM on July 6, 2011
Also, don't forget the power of tuna.
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 4:42 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 4:42 PM on July 6, 2011
Yep. "Adopt" him by taking him to the vet for a check-up and the vaccinations, then register him with your appropriate local agency (where I live, it's the county), then make him wear collar with his tag. Get another identifying him with your telephone number. After that, I would segregate him from the other ferals by keeping him indoors.
Ignore the crazy cat lady who makes claims about his happiness. She is probably hurting the ferals more than she is helping them. Without adoption, your little friend is going to have a sad life whose only saving grace will be that it's bound to be (unmercifully) short.
Your indoor cat will almost certainly live far longer than any feral or indoor/outdoor cat. He will also appreciate not being in a position to be stolen by other admirers. You, as the adults, are in a far better position to judge what will provide for his long term happiness than the person who would emphasize his short term interest in doing feral cat stuff over what's clearly in his best interest.
One cat is not much less expensive, long term, than two, except the cost of spay/neuter & vaccination up front. If that's an issue, tell the vet your abbreviated adoption story and see if they can cut you a deal.
You should do this.
posted by Hylas at 4:42 PM on July 6, 2011
Ignore the crazy cat lady who makes claims about his happiness. She is probably hurting the ferals more than she is helping them. Without adoption, your little friend is going to have a sad life whose only saving grace will be that it's bound to be (unmercifully) short.
Your indoor cat will almost certainly live far longer than any feral or indoor/outdoor cat. He will also appreciate not being in a position to be stolen by other admirers. You, as the adults, are in a far better position to judge what will provide for his long term happiness than the person who would emphasize his short term interest in doing feral cat stuff over what's clearly in his best interest.
One cat is not much less expensive, long term, than two, except the cost of spay/neuter & vaccination up front. If that's an issue, tell the vet your abbreviated adoption story and see if they can cut you a deal.
You should do this.
posted by Hylas at 4:42 PM on July 6, 2011
Try again. Wear gloves and sleeves. Grab him by the scruff of his neck if you can. Someone's going to yell at me for saying that but it always works on the little wild bastards. They get kind of paralyzed. Put him in a carrier and got directly to the vet. Quick and dirty is best in this situation.
After the vet, set up the bathroom for him as others have suggested. In addition, feed each animal on opposite sides of the closed bathroom door for a couple of days before introducing them to each other. At least once a day, block off a larger area for the cat to explore and lock up the dog in your bedroom.
This will work. All it takes is confidence. I should know, my mom is a crazy cat lady (a dozen indoor cats at the peek of craziness - only four now!) and I've seen this done lots of time and done it myself successfully with every pet adoption.
I don't however, believe in locking cats indoors when they want to be out. Some cats are just meant to have an outdoor experience and go crazy locked up inside.
posted by dchrssyr at 5:56 PM on July 6, 2011
After the vet, set up the bathroom for him as others have suggested. In addition, feed each animal on opposite sides of the closed bathroom door for a couple of days before introducing them to each other. At least once a day, block off a larger area for the cat to explore and lock up the dog in your bedroom.
This will work. All it takes is confidence. I should know, my mom is a crazy cat lady (a dozen indoor cats at the peek of craziness - only four now!) and I've seen this done lots of time and done it myself successfully with every pet adoption.
I don't however, believe in locking cats indoors when they want to be out. Some cats are just meant to have an outdoor experience and go crazy locked up inside.
posted by dchrssyr at 5:56 PM on July 6, 2011
Could you just lure him into the house, then into the bathroom? Is there a chance you could get him inside without picking him up? If so, I'd try that. You could try a long chase toy -- young cats are sometimes helpless against the chase instinct!
posted by amtho at 6:24 PM on July 6, 2011
posted by amtho at 6:24 PM on July 6, 2011
The last stray I took in *totally freaked out* when she was shut inside. Like... tiny little kitten somehow ended up on the top of our kitchen cabinets kind of freaking out. We manhandled her down in a towel and into the bathroom.
Three days later she was cuddling with our older cat. That's a bit quicker than usual, in my experience, but yeah. Freaking out about getting picked up or shut inside is normal, but young cats adapt very quickly and he'll be fine. Get him neutered ASAP; male cats are better behaved if it's done as young as possible. And shots, of course.
posted by gracedissolved at 6:53 PM on July 6, 2011
Three days later she was cuddling with our older cat. That's a bit quicker than usual, in my experience, but yeah. Freaking out about getting picked up or shut inside is normal, but young cats adapt very quickly and he'll be fine. Get him neutered ASAP; male cats are better behaved if it's done as young as possible. And shots, of course.
posted by gracedissolved at 6:53 PM on July 6, 2011
Response by poster: Well, we're now trying to get an appointment arranged with the SPCA for him to get his initial vet services (this is a bit of a process around here, so probably we won't have one until next week) and in the meantime we're doing a bit more to get the house organized and the bathroom ready for its new visitor. I intend to use the time to try to gain some trust with this cat, so that things will go a bit more smoothly next time, but everything will be in place. I will update y'all about how it goes! Hopefully, pictures soon!
posted by Scientist at 7:35 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Scientist at 7:35 PM on July 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Same kind of set-up, only it was a couple of people in an apartment with mobs of feral cats around them. One kitten adopted me and since I had one of my two cats to a seizure a month previously I was ready to add a kitten to the household.
He was fine with me picking him up because I had done it several times before when he approached me. What I did was keep him overnight in my kitchen/laundry room area (which had the litter boxes, food and water) and took him to the vet the next day. He got his first shots, de-worming, etc.
The second night, after the vet visit, I had let him loose in the apartment and he peed on the bed and couch. Thereafter, while I was out of my apartment and at night while sleeping, I kept him boxed into the kitchen/laundry room area until he could climb out on his own. That made sure he knew what a litter box was for.
Ciaran is now 12 years old and lives with my mum. She kept him (and my other cat) while I was doing a long distance move. Once I was settled she decided possession was 9/10ths of the law and kept him and gave me back my other cat. Anyway. He settled into indoor life without a problem. Once in a while he escapes when his adopted sister makes a break for it, but they're not out any longer than it takes to get from the window to the front door and they yowl to be let back in.
On preview: Yay! I'm glad you're going to take him in. He's a lucky kitty.
posted by deborah at 7:39 PM on July 6, 2011
He was fine with me picking him up because I had done it several times before when he approached me. What I did was keep him overnight in my kitchen/laundry room area (which had the litter boxes, food and water) and took him to the vet the next day. He got his first shots, de-worming, etc.
The second night, after the vet visit, I had let him loose in the apartment and he peed on the bed and couch. Thereafter, while I was out of my apartment and at night while sleeping, I kept him boxed into the kitchen/laundry room area until he could climb out on his own. That made sure he knew what a litter box was for.
Ciaran is now 12 years old and lives with my mum. She kept him (and my other cat) while I was doing a long distance move. Once I was settled she decided possession was 9/10ths of the law and kept him and gave me back my other cat. Anyway. He settled into indoor life without a problem. Once in a while he escapes when his adopted sister makes a break for it, but they're not out any longer than it takes to get from the window to the front door and they yowl to be let back in.
On preview: Yay! I'm glad you're going to take him in. He's a lucky kitty.
posted by deborah at 7:39 PM on July 6, 2011
Put cat carrier upright so that the open end is facing straight up. With gloves on, grab kitten by scruff of neck. Drop cat into carrier and close door. He'll be fine. If you do not do the "dropping" but try and shove him in horizontally (with the open end on the ground), I guarantee a wrestling match with more biting and clawing.
Also, expect the cat to totally dominate the dog.
posted by desjardins at 8:50 AM on July 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, expect the cat to totally dominate the dog.
posted by desjardins at 8:50 AM on July 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I'll continue to post some updates for anyone who may be following this saga. As of now we have an appointment for Monday morning with the SPCA (who give student discounts, at least in Louisiana!) and we will begin attempting to capture Tyrion as of Saturday night. Hopefully all will go well and our new critter will be settling in with the dog before we know it!
posted by Scientist at 9:33 AM on July 7, 2011
posted by Scientist at 9:33 AM on July 7, 2011
This is staying in my recent activity until there are pictures.
posted by desjardins at 10:28 AM on July 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by desjardins at 10:28 AM on July 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
We're still following this, Scientist. It will work out, and yes, we will need pictures!
posted by vers at 7:25 PM on July 7, 2011
posted by vers at 7:25 PM on July 7, 2011
I'm still here too. If you see little Tyrion today, give him scritches from me.
posted by Pallas Athena at 8:59 AM on July 8, 2011
posted by Pallas Athena at 8:59 AM on July 8, 2011
Response by poster: We got him! And, in a happy turn of events, the Cat Lady even helped! She saw me out there with my cat toy and box and I came and fessed up. She grabbed him for me when he came over to eat, though he scrambled away. She gave me her blessing to take him, and my girlfriend and I eventually enticed him into the box (it was full of food, and we actually caught the wrong cat first and had to shoo it out before Tyrion could get in) which we then simply shut behind him.
No pictures yet, as he's currently cowering in terror between the bathtub and the wall, but tomorrow I'll try to take a picture in which he portrays an emotion other than abject fear. Watch this space!
posted by Scientist at 8:36 PM on July 9, 2011 [7 favorites]
No pictures yet, as he's currently cowering in terror between the bathtub and the wall, but tomorrow I'll try to take a picture in which he portrays an emotion other than abject fear. Watch this space!
posted by Scientist at 8:36 PM on July 9, 2011 [7 favorites]
Congratulations on the newest member of your House! Hope all goes well at the vet's.
posted by Pallas Athena at 7:14 AM on July 10, 2011
posted by Pallas Athena at 7:14 AM on July 10, 2011
Yay! Can't wait for pictures!
posted by TooFewShoes at 10:30 AM on July 10, 2011
posted by TooFewShoes at 10:30 AM on July 10, 2011
Congrats to all: you and GF, the dog and lucky little Tyrion!
posted by easily confused at 12:03 PM on July 10, 2011
posted by easily confused at 12:03 PM on July 10, 2011
Response by poster: And finally, as promised: a picture!
We took him to the vet today for neutering and vaccination. He has a totally clean bill of health, and is in great spirits! We bathed him and combed him (hence the disembodied hand, played by my girlfriend) and dried him off, and then we spent some quality cuddle time in his bathroom sanctuary with him. He's the sweetest little thing, already he'll just curl up in your lap and rub on you and purr and let you scritch his little face... such a love! He's got food and water and a litter box, and tomorrow we'll open the door and let him start exploring his new home!
Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who helped and lent your excellent advice. You were indispensable, and I'm glad to say that the story has a happy ending in every respect. Huzzah!
posted by Scientist at 9:25 PM on July 11, 2011 [6 favorites]
We took him to the vet today for neutering and vaccination. He has a totally clean bill of health, and is in great spirits! We bathed him and combed him (hence the disembodied hand, played by my girlfriend) and dried him off, and then we spent some quality cuddle time in his bathroom sanctuary with him. He's the sweetest little thing, already he'll just curl up in your lap and rub on you and purr and let you scritch his little face... such a love! He's got food and water and a litter box, and tomorrow we'll open the door and let him start exploring his new home!
Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who helped and lent your excellent advice. You were indispensable, and I'm glad to say that the story has a happy ending in every respect. Huzzah!
posted by Scientist at 9:25 PM on July 11, 2011 [6 favorites]
Your little Lannister lion is such a beauty! I wish you many happy years together.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:46 AM on July 12, 2011
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:46 AM on July 12, 2011
Response by poster: More pictures!
Here he is after climbing up onto the window ledge so that he could look at some birds in a tree.
And here he is with his favorite book! (I didn't actually realize what book until I was looking at the pictures on the computer. Honestly.)
posted by Scientist at 8:02 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Here he is after climbing up onto the window ledge so that he could look at some birds in a tree.
And here he is with his favorite book! (I didn't actually realize what book until I was looking at the pictures on the computer. Honestly.)
posted by Scientist at 8:02 AM on July 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yay! What a great ending! If I'm not mistaken, it appears that sweet Tyrion may have some Siamese in his lineage...or the Siamese-like lines may disappear when he's got more meat on his bones. Either way, he's adorable. Congratulations!
posted by cooker girl at 11:58 AM on July 12, 2011
posted by cooker girl at 11:58 AM on July 12, 2011
That is one fine looking pussy cat. Here's to many happy, indoor adventures!
posted by Scram at 12:28 PM on July 12, 2011
posted by Scram at 12:28 PM on July 12, 2011
Wow, what a handsome lil' dude..... as Scram says, a fine-looking pussycat. Wishing him a long and happy life, with many cuddles & cat toys, and lots of gushy fud!
posted by easily confused at 2:36 AM on July 13, 2011
posted by easily confused at 2:36 AM on July 13, 2011
That is a fine looking kitteh. I'm glad he's adjusting so well! That picture of him on the window ledge, he looks just like a miniature tiger.
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:49 AM on July 13, 2011
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:49 AM on July 13, 2011
So glad to read your update -- good work all around, and reading that the The Cat Lady helped you actually brought tears to my eyes. And a clean bill of health! Tyrion is remarkably handsome, and I'm with cooker girl in thinking there could be Siamese in his lineage.
You have all of our best wishes for Tyrion being a love and a character with you for many, many years. You did good!
posted by vers at 12:45 PM on July 16, 2011
You have all of our best wishes for Tyrion being a love and a character with you for many, many years. You did good!
posted by vers at 12:45 PM on July 16, 2011
What a looker. Congratulations on the new addition to your family.
posted by Maisie at 8:06 PM on August 26, 2011
posted by Maisie at 8:06 PM on August 26, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
I don't think there's anything wrong with taking in this kitty.
posted by jeather at 2:12 PM on July 6, 2011 [3 favorites]