Why can't I listen to my wife?
May 14, 2005 6:23 PM Subscribe
Why can't I ever listen to my wife?
posted by anonymous to human relations (32 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
My relationship with my wife is becoming rocky because, quite honestly, I don't listen to her. I forget major things that she's told me (eg. that she needs to go somewhere on a certain day, or that she has a certain day off work, or that she would like to go to the movies, or that she has an appointment I have to take her to - we only have one car) and go about my own merry business - quite frankly, sometimes I never hear these things to start with, but I have no doubt that she's told me. I just don't hear.
Naturally, she interprets this as meaning that I don't care about her - that all the other things I have going on in my head, all the other plans I make in my life, trump her needs. In fact I do care, and when I miss something she's told me or forget to ask her about something so we can get our plans straight, it hurts me a hell of a lot. The problem is, often I just assume things rather than actually asking her what she wants.
This is all happening subconsciously, so how do I fix it? I'm not aware that I'm not listening, so how can I change? How can I stop myself making assumptions, and actually communicate? Any ideas how I can make sure my wife is the #1 priority in my life?