Please help me to find some clarity on where I should live.
March 8, 2011 9:03 PM Subscribe
I am having a pretty hard time making a life decision on where to live.
posted by and hey Charlie to home & garden (11 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I'm hoping that I might get a bit of clarity by posting on here.
I recently moved back to the states from the UK after having lived and worked there for many years. While I was there, I did my best to fit in and find things that I enjoyed doing and in general take advantage of living there even though I never felt it really lived up to my beloved Minneapolis, where I am from and have now moved back to.
The trouble is, I put in roots more than I thought while I was there and I'm finding that I miss it a lot. I love it here, I moved back because I missed it here so much, missed friends and family etc., but now I'm kind of feeling the same about the UK. I know that part of being an expat/repat is that I'll probably always miss the place that I am not living but I am wondering if people who may have been in similar situations might be able to offer some insight as to their thought processes which helped them arrive at a decision on where to settle.
A few more bits of info:
- One of the superficial things I really disliked about the UK was the weather - I had serious problems with SAD and depression in general. BUT, it was so easy to get away to a sunny country and to other countries in general (close proximity + lots of holiday time), with so many choices available, whereas here a quick beach holiday pretty much means Florida or Mexico. Plus, Minnesota winters are COLD, so between the extreme cold here and the constant rain there, it may be a toss-up WRT weather.
- I have been unemployed for six months now. The job market is picking up, and I will eventually find something, but it would be much easier for me to find a job in the UK because of my specialised UK qualifications. This is becoming more relevant because between my move back and being unemplyed for longer than anticipated, I have built up a lot of debt, which is in GBP. For several reasons, it would be easier to pay this down more quickly in the UK.
There is also a good chance that I could go back to my old job if I went back. I have an idea of how much I could make at that job, plus I know I would have six weeks vacation. The estimates I've gotten from people who work here is in the range of $70 to $100k but that is kind of up in the air if I will be able to find a job in my field over here anytime soon with only UK qualifications and experience (though I attended university in the US). I work in the field of finance and investments.
- The two things that weigh most heavily on my mind right now are: debt and my age (35). The debt is scary and I have it in two countries (including student loans), but would probably be manageable if I were working.
I feel like I am at the age where I really have to make a decision and I'm scared it will be the wrong one and I will just end up wasting more time in my life and get to the point where I won't be able to accomplish anything because I'm too old. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it has been weighing on my mind so much that I will get to age 40, age 50, whatever and not own a house, have no savings and nothing to show for myself. I am at that point now and it is deeply depressing. I know my potential for earning money is pretty good but that's meaningless if I can't get a decent job because I'm past my prime. If I had not left my job in the UK six months ago, I would be on a very good career path, which is why part of me wants to run back and start it up again before it's too late.
I guess I have a few questions:
If you have ever lived for a significant time in a place far away from your "home", which you came to love for entirely different reasons, how did you eventually decide where to settle?
At what point should a job be the most important factor in deciding where to live?
I guess that's all I can think of for now. I hope I haven't come off badly in this, I'm sorry if I have, my mind is just a mess and a lot of my close friends have lived their whole lives in one place so can't really offer mcuh advice other than to "pray for guidance", which I can totally respect but which is not really what I'm looking for. Thanks.