Why do I feel worse after getting enough sleep? As the physical symptoms of exhaustion recede, my emotional state goes to pieces.
Like most folks living in the industrialized Western world, I generally operate on a sleep deficit. I have to drag myself awake in the mornings, and I’m tired quite a bit. Some of the general feeling of fatigue is probably related to my clinical depression, but some of it is certainly related to insufficient sleep. Every now and then I try to correct my sleep patterns according to all the articles on how to sleep better. I pick a reasonable bedtime and stick to it, reduce distractions, and so forth. And after a few days, physically, I feel better. I have an easier time getting up in the morning, I ache less, and I have more energy.
And then the ruminations
start. I have this deep nonspecific feeling that there’s just something wrong with me. I start running through everything wrong or awkward I may have said in the last ten years over and over. Incidents just pop into my head and intrude on whatever I’m doing. I can’t read contentious threads because I obsess over everything upsetting, and if I’ve posted I fuss over whether I’ve expressed myself badly, or wasn’t nice enough, or should have just shut up in the first place. I have to put more and more effort into pushing aside the hurtful thoughts, or I stop being able to function. I can’t focus on my work, and I withdraw from my friends. Eventually, I decide that I prefer the dragging exhaustion to the stress of holding myself together and go back to the mild sleep deficit.
Shouldn’t getting enough sleep make me less
stressed? Why would being rested make me less resilient? Does anyone else get this?