We really should have said something earlier
February 7, 2011 10:52 AM Subscribe
How do we tell his relatives that we got married...one year ago?
posted by cobain_angel to Human Relations (24 answers total)
Last January (in 2010), for immigration purposes, my now-husband and I decided to get married as soon as possible. We'd had plans to get married anyway (he had been planning to propose that same year), so it wasn't a rushed or undiscussed decision by any means. We married in March, at the courthouse. His parents and mine, as well as our siblings, were there. Our best friends acted as witnesses.
Problem is, we married in secrecy, as then no one knew about my migratory status except for the people that actually attended the wedding. Further complicating things, his cousin proposed to his girlfriend right around the time we got married, and a big wedding was set to happen. This was the first wedding in his side of the family in a long time, and we didn't want to steal their thunder, so we decided to keep quiet about our wedding until after his cousin got married. Since then, one thing after another has prevented us from announcing our wedding to his family. My family already knows, but they are all in Mexico/California. We have been hoping to make a huge wedding party as both of our families are big, but we don't want to lie to them about being married in the courthouse. We think it is time to tell them, ideally with a letter on our anniversary. How do we do this? What do we say in the letter? How do we deal with any possible hurt feelings?